Single mom

My days of a single mom starts today =(...well at least for the next 2 weeks, whew!
Still two weeks seems like eternity especially for 8 years the longest I've been apart from Ryan would be 2 days when he would go back home to Pampanga (his hometown) for a weekend. Huhuhu.

I think little drama princess is feeling it too. She was awakened by the call of the airport limo who came to pick daddy up. Although she was alert & was laughing when I was putting her back to sleep she just suddenly stopped, her lower lip fell and all of a sudden her eyes were red. I asked her what's wrong and she ducked her head in the comforter for a few seconds when i pulled her up tears were streaming down her face. And she didn't make a sound. She just stared back at me.

Aiyooh Dad!We are missing you already!

Later we'll upload some pre-departure pics. FOr now sleepy ulit kme ni Iaree girl.

Troubled

I keep on stirring in my chair...
I don't know if I want to work or bury myself in work.
It's Friday and I'm undecided if I should feel relieved or I should be pressured.
I am talking to myself out loud.

Suddenly JK bursts out you're troubled.
The word amused me so much that it went to my YM status, plurk and here.
I'm troubled with the fact that I dont have a single offer released this week..boss is going to kill me
I'm troubled that on the next 3 weekends Ryan will not be around and that I want to make the most out of this weekend
I'm troubled with someone
I guess to sum it all I'm just troubled hahaha! Good observation JK.

Your public identity

Having this online sites like blogs, plurk & social networks where you post your pictures and videos are really cool.

I mean I dont have to spend on courier or post just to update my family about Iaree's latest milestones and her pictures. It's where you discover who got married had another baby even if that meant your 19 year old cousin who you tought was still a kid. Blogs are a great outlet for me to blow off some steam or narrate some events that I can't keep to myself. When they introduced this plurk thing I thought why not since I change my YM status so often anyway and it felt that it was like that. However, sometimes you want to speak to a certain audience and have a little privacy. Of course you wouldn't post anything you cant afford to reach someones ears especially when you write about someone.

I didn't bother before with this. In fact I had an experience long back when I was so mad with my officemate I couldn't tell anyone so I blogged it. I only found out that she read it when we made ammends..hahaha as in months & many blogs after!Now we're good friends as if it never happened and that was just a laughing matter for us now.

The other day in my plurk profile I started having fans errr...I was alarmed , I dont know these people..my friends and family I dont mind. Now I'm having second thoughts about all my online sites. Once I am a housewife and IF I find the time to sit on this maybe I will make some changes. For the meantime can someone please tell my why and how did I get followers in my plurk? Should I be horrified or something? If I remove them wouldn't that be rude and I can't stop them from reading it anyway...so how?

Freedom! Yey!

It was only yesterday that my boss has conceded and finally accepted that I'm leaving. He did not do this because I was important part of the team but because it was indeed a crucial time for him. However it's also a crucial time for us so I stayed on my ground as much as I would want to exit gloriously and help the team out.

I technically resigned 3x. Sending him emails repeatedly that I am not withdrawing it. This morning in the car he simply said in admission wow on the 17th you suddenly free from it all doing nothing. As much as I can hardly wait for it I make the best out of my time here. It's amazing though when there's no pressure to win the race and have the top most number of closures for the month. Not to be scolded for not having enough CV's end of the day because without these pressure I'm doing quite well. Hehe.

Boss was being funny for the last time and giving me speeches about the finances. Uh hello knowing me I would've thought about that a million times before doing this so nope sorry no amount of pep talk could do that. I'm not saying that everything will be perfect but for now everything is so promising that I hardly have a reason to frown.

Ayos toh!

Dowa: Candidate did you get a call from the interviewer already?
Candidate: Yes ma'am
Dowa: So how did it go?
Candidate: I think I did not get the job
Dowa: Why?
Candidate: Because I was not able to answer the technical questions like for Networking
Dowa:That's okay I'm sure you were able to answer some of the questions
Candidate: Uhh...yes I did.
Dowa: These are what kind of questions (hoping for a glimmer of hope)
Candidate: The yes or no questions

Dowa: Errr...(all hope crashes)

News Flash!

I've been itching to tell this BIG BIG news since I did it but never had the time to do so. Why? because:
1. I did it before we left for the Philippines
2. Vacationed in the Phils and cant get an internet connection at home
3. Came back of course with tons of work
4. Came back to work and surprise they moved to another office (as far as makati - Sta. Rosa)
5. Busy with work and repeatedly doing it over and over (this one is record breaking)

I HAVE RESIGNED!!

I will soon be a stay-at-home mom. Maybe I will have to change to another blog or maybe not for all I know The Wonder Woman title fits a full time mom the best.

For as long as we have decided this (likes as in months and months ago) it was hard for me to be silent about it. Nobody understood of course (for those I have informed) but despite my friends teasing that I can't do it (as in really give up working) I know they knew I will go for it and my REAL friends will really support me. In fact the first time I told my bestfriend she instantly said I believe you can but I wonder for how long. When I had uncertainties by guy bestfriend said he knows I can do it. Lastly my supportive husband never pushed it but he reasoned with me all the time and told me that whatever I decide on he's on my side. So I guess with all the sense left in me it was only right to do this.

Considering the economic crisis and all, how ambitious I am with my career, our future plans I still believe this is the best choice not only for my family but personally this is something that I need.

It may be for a lot of reasons but most of all having to give up something I had to make sure I can stand for it and I am happy with it. Then the answer I found deep down inside well actually during my reflections while talking to Rem about being a working mom. She being one too and since she knows me for almost my entire life. I realize I have stretched myself too much, I feel that I am not good at anything anymore either at work or being a mom or a wife. My self esteem hit low as a result. Our profession screams for dedication which is now a luxury for me and as much as I was considered for a promotion accepting it will compromise my time with my family. Each night when I close my eyes it's eating me inside. That's when I knew I can't do the juggling act anymore...or at least for now. =)

This is the most liberating thing I have done. I have feared it, waited for it now I'm just too excited about it!!!