An almost midnight snack

At 10:00 PM our house was still full of energy last night. Then Ryan called in to inform us he's on his way home from night out with his colleagues. So we thought it will be great time for a drive through at McDonald's and as a result we have one satisfied little (almost) midnight snacker...

Almost Done

Moving in is so exciting...even the unpacking part. Its even better while I'm a stay at home mom coz I have time to put everyting in order and stuffs have its own place. Although I love our new condo my only two complaints are:
1. Its so new all the other tenants are having their units renovated = noisy all day!well i got used to it though as long as my darling baby can still fall asleep.
2. The wardrobe closet the owner provided is just enough for my clothes. Lucky for Ryan he only have a few so I managed to squueze it in somehow. Which reminds me I need to buy another one of those plastic drawer (the cheap ones so I wont feel bad disposing it once we leave MY for good). For my bags & other accessories that I haven't kept yet.

As for the rest I can only sing praises!Iaree loves her own playroom where we set up her bookshelf filled with Disney & Barney books she can easily reach & manage anytime (she spends a lot of time here). I simply love our room!With an awesome view of the city a little to the right are mountains, its so relaxing and in time I will set up a small nook with carpet & cushions next to the window. Its such a comfort knowing the malls are a stone throw away.We love love love the podium. Its the floor that holds the condo's poolsssss(4 adult pool-2 infinity/aquarium type, 2 with jacuzzi),(2 kiddie pool - 1 with hanging hearts, flower, star on the shower head & 1 with a slide); club house, bbq areas, lounging areas (which makes us feel we are on a vacation spot), tennis court, badminton court & 2 playgrounds.

We are sewing our own curtains as ready made curtains are so expensive.whew...and we still dont have our sofa set. We are waiting for Ryan's local credit card...hehehe. Hopefully by June we are completely settled and maybe maybe we can have a simple housewarming if i did not max out our budget buying cabinets & wardrobe...hehehe

Mommy's first crocs

Mommy often wonder what I love about my crocs from the first day they bought me one and I don't complain nor remove it at home or when at the mall.

Then after several months she finally got one, not to mention her size is often out of stock. Congratulations to mommy! Now she can experience the comfort of walking around with crocs like I do. While daddy bought mom her first crocs I now have a total of 4 crocs!Of course dad can't help but buy me 2 more pairs for my collection.

Um, dad I think I can borrow your shoes as well..I can walk around in it too.

Lost in cyberspace

With all the social network available one would always feel so connected right? Then why is it so stressful to manage everything?!!Whew...

My friendster account was a very very old one, my first ever but I am not active in using it as uploading pictures are so difficult (you have to resize it and it's so slow) I did not even know I had dozens of birthday greetings there and it's already April. However I like keeping it because most of my classmates (college & highschool) and some relatives communicate with me there.

This blog not exactly a networking site but given a chance I'd want to improve this because this is where I express myself more. In words at least but I have no idea who reads this unless when my friends (who I had no idea reads this) would mention to me that I don't update this anymore.

Multiply is my favorite unfortunately my active ex-colleagues(Phils & Malaysia) are in facebook. Each site, different audience it feels like a different me and obviously taking care of an active 21-month old baby I don't have the luxury to post in each site. Although facebook does look fun I am so comfortable with multiply and I have so many posts there already I feel that it represents me more.

Haaayy...welcome to my cyberlife.

Queen of misfortune

After the incident this morning I knew I am a nominee for bad mommy of the year.

Flashback 4 hours ago...

I picked up the plastics for garbage recycling as I am tidying up our place because our house owner is so desperate to get a replacement for us when we move end of the month that she has arranged a viewing tonight.As Iaree was in front of the laptop watching her self videos (she loves this a lot), I made a quick dash to the garbage bin just two steps from our door. I turned my back placed the garbage in and closed it then as I was about to reach for the door SLAM! Iaree has closed it and even doubled locked the door. Sadly she only knows how to lock because we did not teach her how to unlock. In the first place we never taught her how to lock it. A pretty girl all dressed up going down the stairs saw me and smiled at me. I smiled back and told her my baby is locked inside the house. I asked to borrow her phone to call the admin for help. Minutes passed and the girl also waiting for help to arrive asked me if they have. But they haven't and I try to calm my already panicking guts. Iaree called me once and was telling a lot of things. The tone of her voice told me it was more of a "mom why did you not take me with you if you are going out there" than a "mom you left me alone I'm scared". No crying at all which can be good or bad but admin has no excuse to stall. The nice lady still waiting offered to lend me their ladder altough she cannot say it in English. Guessing game kme. All dress up in her mini metallic dress with matching glittery handbag (big version) She went to her unit and brought the ladder down. I can go with her to get it however I do not want to leave Iaree in case she cries or anything so I stood within earshot or our unit.

The ladder was short it didn't reach the second floor so little miss nice girl went back up to their unit carrying the ladder. Pity the girl really but I was too distraught by now. Luckily I saw the cleaning lady of our building and I asked if she speaks English. She told me she can a bit and I quickly complained to her the lack of response of admin about my predicament. She was prompt and in less than a minute she was with a guard and in a motorbike along come with them the admin person. At this point Iaree was not responding to my call but through the small space under the door I saw her two small legs by the sofa tinkering on something so at least she was fine.

Finally the small group arguing in Malay which I understood a bit has agreed to bring me a big ladder. Security guard, cleaning lady was on my side. I let the nice girl, who told me she was not Malay (I asked her to talk to them in Malay when the help came) but apparently she was Thai, I asked her I'll be fine as I was so so guilty that she's running late for her appointment. Without hesitation I climbed the rather unstable looking ladder in a hurry to get to my baby. 15 long minutes had passed! As dramatic as it sounds I came to her and hugged her immediately, unfazed and wondering what's wrong with mommy she just stared at me then continued removing all the contents of my wallet.

After I put her to sleep I started preparing dinner (Beef Nilaga) which is basically just broth. Well I have cooked the dish a hundred times but this time I burned it. Yea!Swimming in broth yet I burned the beef. Not only am I a bad mom but a bad wife as well. Hmmmm...

Today just doesn't seem to be my day.

Social skills of babies

Hah!It's 9:50 AM and she's still sleeping!!!

Okay fast before she wakes....

A child in Asia is so blessed with extended families and friendly neighbors who would be more or less your age(child & parent alike). I am sure I will not be worrying about Iaree's social skills if we lived in the Philippines but I'm pretty sure I'd be worried about something else such as security & pollution. We just noticed that since she only gets to interact with mommy & daddy and also lola before she is very very anxious with strangers. Especially with men. This anxiety is acceptable since this is a good defence mechanism of babies like her from strangers. However her aloofness extends even to kids except for babies younger than her.

This brought us to consider putting her in a play school. We scouted around Bangsar area but considering the schedule and my lack of driving skills we totally dropped the idea. I tried this small school inside Pantai Hillpark Phase 2 and the owner Ms. Nadia was kind enough to let her try it first for free because she's the youngest baby there and they obviously dont have a special group for her.

I noticed that it's pretty structured and although not that traditional(that's what they claimed) the school does not incorporate the play and learn environment that is more ideal for young children. Iaree had a blast the first day my mistake the second day was I left her too soon I should've left her after say a month or 5-7 meetings. So she was so anxious when I came in to get her. The following meetings ( I take her 2x a week), she would never leave my side ever. I know it was my fault but I noticed that on the other meetings it wasn't that much play anymore so Iaree even if she would try to leave my side gets uninterested in of course writing alphabet in the workbook and coloring. Not to mention they got at ease having me around that they dont mind scolding the kids for not finishing the food or not working...I am no expert but that's not how you make children their age do things. There was only one teacher there who was engaging and patient enough to really go along with her interest. Unfortunately she is the dedicated teacher of the bigger kids (5-6). After 3 more meetings and I think even the toddler's teachers were also noticing its not working (they had 10+ more students ages 2.5-4. The owner left it to me to decide if we will continue and never charged us. Dapat lng naman dahil di naman sila ngextend ng effort ke Iaree.

So put on hold muna her socialization activities and we'll plan it out we move to our new place and Iaree will be 2 y.old and more independent. For now...we all love Jungle Gym in Bangsar and we'll surely miss going there weekly.

What's up?

Here I am and I thought as a stay-at-home-mom I have the luxury to blog more often. I was obviously mistaken. I was not mistaken though that it will be tough at first and boy was is really tough not only for me but also for Ryan. Our baby 18 mos old (Jan) started having tantrums before sleeping. As in if it's sleeping time she throws tantrums despite her droopy sleepy eyes. She just wants to stay awake and play or do something like ransack my drawers. We tried everything pretended to sleep, turned off the lights, fed her well, gave her a sleep routine nothing worked. There was even one time that Ryan and I both fell asleep for a few minutes when I opened my eyes there she was playing still. We took her to a developmental pedia not that she can do anything with it but I was hoping that she has a broader understanding in a child's development to no avail her advice was as useless as the other things we have tried. Well ok somehow talking to her made us pinpoint that the baby is sabik to play with daddy. Hence she wants to extend the evening.

It was more frustrating for me because I thought I was equipped with children's development studying it for my masters. Apparently with a wailing child and lack of sleep you simply can't put theories into practice. What finally worked was Ryan would stay out until she falls asleep. This worked for two weeks and now even if she still sleeps late 11 PM or 12 AM she manages to sleep with Ryan around. Coz poor Ryan had been forgotten several times waiting for me to call him or text him when both Iaree and I are already faraway in dreamland.

After that and until now full time motherhood and housewife is so much fun. It simply meant I have to have a routine or at least a flexible one to accommodate sleep hour changes of Iaree. I have to cook food 1-2 days before so I have something prepared if Iaree is being difficult (defined as: won't leave mommy's side or asks to be carried). Another bad habit we missed correcting and now I understand the consequences was she got used to be carried to sleep. Hence while she takes her nap at noon I am carrying her. Leaving me free to only watch my Sex and the City episodes in the laptop. Once in a while with my free hand I chat with friends and family to keep in touch.

I feel guilty about this but her addiction to Barney & Barbie gives me a few hours to do other chores or sometimes cook and take a bath. Generally she behaves very well. As long as I give her undivided play time if she got engrossed mommy can cook or pick up the mess in the house. Aside from the mess and the unfolded wash clothes I have everything under control. Now I understand how rewarding it is to spend time with your baby. Iaree baby is so sweet - she asks for hugs all the time, sings the alphabet A-G and LMNOP. And she recognizes the letters already as we have alphabet ref magnets. Gone was the 17 month old baby so difficult to feed. She was such a hearty eater now. At 20 mos she has built up a lot of vocabulary and so many action songs. I love every minute of it!Something I know I will miss very soon. Thanks to my wonderful husband who made me feel I am not alone with the household chores or taking care of the baby and especially for making it possible to be Stay At Home Mom.

The elusive case of happiness

I am aware of my 2 month absence here and instead of telling you previous accounts as to what happened in between I thought I would share something more delightful to ponder about while my baby is sleeping in my arms literally(yes I'm typing with pne hand) and I cross my fingers I finish this entry before she wakes up.

Back in DLSU I took this subject in my master's degree that talks about happiness. I'm sure I have a few entries about that in the past. Given that psychology always deals with the negative aspects in life...disorders,dysfunctions what is faulty blah blah blah. It's refereshing to know that a team of experts are giving light to what they call the Psychology of Happiness.

I just realized that while chatting with a friend about her marital woes and that statement - im swallowing everything coz' I have to; really really bugged me because she's a dear dear friend and it's sad to hear that from her. While I watch my other friends dissolve marriage around me and with my fair share of quarrels and dealing with my other half. It makes me think when do we actually give up on ourselves, to what extent do we give up our own happiness? I told my friend that she always have a choice and as I was thinking to tell her I want her to be happy I thought scrap that idea!!We all either give in too much to our worries or we try too hard to find happiness that there are days we dont know what happiness is.

Is it staying in an emotionally abusive marriage? Is it leaving your philandering husband at the expense of losing communication with your children? Is it closing your eyes to your wife's infidelity and grab the first chance you get to do the same?
Well I guess I'll never know the answer and I pray to God I wont have to ask the question. This is neither a lecture about marriage nor am I in a position to judge anyone. It's just that we look too hard to look for it but actually it's not a black and white thing and what makes one happy doesn't make the other one so.

End of the conversation with my friend I just wished her lesser unhappy days and told her I'll be here for her on those days. Coz staying happy and being happy will be there but for days that are so dismal, gloomy and unavoidably unhappy you'd be grateful to have a good friend around.