Sep 13, 2006

Guilt feelings

Have you ever noticed how Filipinos have difficulty saying NO even for their own sake? Not to mention how we feel guilty even if there is nothing to be guilty of after saying NO.

I for one am a victim of not being able to say no. I only realized this recently or rather my Indian classmate in DLSU who's a priest called my attention about it and my other classmates came in to my defense saying it's a gender and cultural thing, it wasn't personal (coz he was starting to get angry that I didn't simply say no to his request and I had to go around explaining it instead). I swear super sama tlga ng loob nya sa akin but he texted me naman the following day to say that he's sorry for the way he reacted blah blah blah. Initially my defense was...okay I forgot what it was because later on that day I realized his point that I should've just clearly said NO. I just had to stress it that it wasn't really personal or anything, it was a natural response that any of us in the group would have said the same thing.

Today, I'm feeling the second one after saying no to a big favor. It involves money kasi and I am prone for trusting people with plenty of money yet suffer in the end. Sobrang suffering umabot pa sa NBI yung isang case ko ng pagtrust...pero di ko lng na-follow through with the court hearings so wala din..gone with the wind din ang drama naming mga victims. Even if I had all the point and the reason in the world to say no why the hell do I feel so bad? Is it my upbringing or is it a cultural phenomenon? I also met several people who have difficulty naman collecting payment from the person who borrowed money, even to some point na sila na yung gipit na gipit nahihiya pa din silang maningil. Nagawa na nila lahat ng pakulo at drama except for approaching the person directly and collect the payment. This is something I'm not guilty of naman kse I rarely have the chance to...hahaha! Either the person disappeared or madami din kami na-victim so kahit anong bitin naming patiwarik sa tao eh wala din. Anyway I like Weng's advise for now the best I could do is pray for that person that he finds other means especially after I turned him down. I guess what makes it more difficult for me is that I know how it feels.

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