Pregnancy journals

*Miscarriage scare*

What I used to read on the posts of fellow expectant moms in my e-group about losing their baby, almost came so real to me. Sunday after mass, Ryan and I decided to do some grocery. While he checked out some stuff from the diving shop for our weekend trip with the recruitment team I went to the restroom to pee. Before I stood up I noticed blood. Immediately I searched for Ryan praying that everything will be just fine and talking to my baby to hold on and be strong.

When we reached the hospital, they immediately took me in via emergency room and while waiting for the doctor I really can't help but cry. I know I'm supposed to relax but suddenly it dawned on me that all the stress and the physical strain of working for the weekend jobfair could have caused this. I feel so scared that I am putting our baby's life in the line because of my job. I could tell that Ryan was trying to hold his control being worried for me and the baby and being so sweet not to scold me even if he told me to stay at home & rest than work that Saturday. I was so impressed on how Ryan tried to hold up and be strong for me so that I will stop worrying...but I can tell in his eyes that he was too.

As per my OB's orders I was admitted. Surprisingly at the ER here they do not do a lot of test compared with ER in the Phil - well of course it has it's pros & cons.
I told Ryan to just get a ward since my insurance does not cover any pregnancy related illness and we do not know how much this hospitalization will cost us. I sent an SMS to my boss telling him about my situation. Kinabahan tuloy sya and naguilty kse alam nyang pinagtrabaho nya ako ng weekend. In fairness the ward here is so nice wala lng tv pero parang hotel ha. I had this impression kse of wards in the Philippines and good thing it was not even a fraction of that. All four beds were empty so I had the entire ward by myself which was actually a good thing since companions of the patients are not allowed to stay there overnight. The following day if we didn't follow it up due to the carelessness of my doctor's assistant they haven't done any tests to me yet. Promise ha all this waiting is causing me so much anxiety. Ryan & I were suspecting it had nothing to do with the baby but more on my urine. This was confirmed after they did the test. My doctor allowed me to go home but under strict orders that I should rest and take it easy.

It was indeed a big sigh of relief for us after the ultrasound and all that the baby was fine. Although my bleeding from the urinary tract had to be treated somehow. After this I told myself I will take care of myself more...mahirap na I don't want to lose our first baby and it's not as simple. Nine months of bearing a child in the womb is really a task that even if you have really been with the baby physically I mean cuddle and take care of him the attachment is there. As I always expected and thought of there should be a certain preparedness in pregnancy and parenthood. Kaya nga it took us a while before we got into it and no matter how prepared you are, regardless of the books you read, the research you've done (not to emphasize that I'm mastering Human Development and have more than enough materials on all aspects of human development) you can't always have the answer to every situation.

*Antenatal classes*

For this month (April) we enrolled at the hospital's antenatal classes. Ryan & I are often clueless on a lot of things and it will be a good help to hear it from the experts at the same time get a feel of what their practices are here.

It was very educational!Scary and...scary..hehehe! Especially for me who has very low tolerance of pain. I mean they explained what to expect and even showed us the needle for the epidural. While listening to the explanations sino bang di matatakot noh!

I kept on comparing myself to the other pregnant women in the class and boy are their tummies bulging!I am so glad Ryan joined me in these classes because he's now so educated about giving birth and all. Especially the possibility that daddies faint during the labor or panic etc.

We so love this hospital so far they only encourage breastfeeding nothing else and the nurses assigned in the station are so trained for that. Plus since mommy will be so tired after the delivery they will teach daddy how to bathe and take care of the baby. Awww...that's so sweet (and brilliant, para may enough rest si mommy)!!Although Ryan is scared in holding a vulnerable baby I'm sure he'll do just fine. =)

*Car for convenience(?)*

Since the cost of cars & petrol (hahaha, sanay na tlga ako sa Malaysian terms) is cheap we have been planning for so long to buy our own. Rental is also an option pero computing it mas lalabas na mahal. Unfortunately if you're an expat (naks!) mas costly & we have to find a guarantor etc. Taking taxi cabs are draining us I mean I take a cab going home for me was tolerable on our budget but with Ryan's crazy schedule his only option going home is also to take a cab with a 50% mark up kse past 12 midnight na. Not to mention with the baby it's not so ideal for us to travel around in public transpo. Good thing Chris one of the senior Pinoys here in MY will move back to the Phils he's actually selling his car but it's too small for us. Just the car seat of the Chicco stroller we are checking out will occupy the space in the car and we cannot do anymore grocery once the baby is here. So we told him if he likes pa-rent n muna nya sa amin. He agreed naman so hatid sundo na ako ni Ryan and maybe after I give birth if our extra money will still allow it saka na kme kukuha ng car na fit tlga for us. Nakakaloka pala mag-second hand! Walang pang one month ang dami nang sakit ng kotse na tyumempo pa sa amin. Another thought masarap palang may driver kse tinuturuan ako ni Ryan magdrive tamad na tamad ako..kahit tuloy wala pa sya tulog from night shift hatid sundo pa din nya ako...hehehee.bad!Dinadahilan ko ang hirap mag-drive kse buntis ako...hahaha!(sana saka n nya mabasa to)

*Baby nightmares*

Hala!I had a baby nightmare last week (May) as in we have two baby girls na who are so naughty and hyperactive hindi masaway. When I woke up Ryan had it from me. Pano ba naman everytime Ryan pictures our baby super daming naughty side na kinekwento nya at susuportahan. Cute daw kse! Aba aba aba!!

*Shy baby*

Since I got hospitalized on my 6th month every doctor's visit was something we look forward to because we so want to know the baby's gender already. I know it's safer and more practical to stick to neutral colors & items for the baby but I can't help it the gender specific items are too cute to pass on. I sooooooooo wanted to shop na!I have benn holding back for months since I got pregnant. Same as how I held back not buying maternity clothes since none of it fit me anyway.

Anyway for the 6th month baby was facing mommy and only the buttocks were showing. 7th month check up the doctor had difficulty figuring it out since it wasn't such an ideal position. 8th month, the most recent one baby was covering his/her genitals with his/her two legs. Sorry mommy & daddy it will be a surprise. Anyway Florence is more frustrated than us everytime we go home from a checkup with no news what the baby's gender is. Hahaha! Affected tlga si Florence. Anyway sabi ni Ryan paglabas ni baby may suot ng diaper sa sobrang pagkamahiyain. Super suspense tlga ang gender nya ha. Pinagiisipan ko pa if we will go for the 4D ang mahal kse ang dami ko nang mabibili na baby items. But it seems like daddy really wants to go for it..every checkup dala nya ang digicam at vinevideo nya ang ultrasound. Hehehe!

*Mommy's little kickboxer*

Since my figure is so small (I was sooo worried I will blow up tlga when I get pregnant) Since 5-6 mos yata baby's movement inside me is so strong already. But now that the baby is bigger and stronger aba parang kickboxer in the making sa likot and minsan ang sakit ha. Especially when the baby stays long near my rib cage..ouch!Kahit anong pakiusap ni mommy ayaw mag-move pag si daddy ang humawak at kumausap aba sumusunod naman. Hmmm...kaya kinakabahan ako sa mag-ama eh. Ang dami na kseng conniving plans ni Ryan for the kids mischief eh. (*my eyes rolling here).

Here's some of my preggy pictures:

*** to follow after editing it

Love letter from my B.F.

Mar 30, '07 6:12 AM
for users dowadee and auiedioses

how are you? how's ur tummy? how's dear ryan... I hope its so okay wid you I posted your letters for me. It made me miss you a lot more. It made me even notice that GOD has put us together though we are really opposites. You can sing I can dance. Ur'e good in english, id rather have math! ur the kind of girl who doesn't easily trust a guy, while Im a person who easily gives in in their "sugar-coated" "to good to be true" statements. I take good care of my stuffs while you lost a lot of pagers...u r tall, i am short. I am gifted but you are not (sorry but its the truth...you know which is the "gifted" part that i am referring...) hahahaha I come on time and you are always late.... both of us are miss friendship pero mas matindi ka kasi we always get stranded because of your friends and choovas!

thinking how would it be if we are still both in phils... u having ryan and being preggy while im busy preparing for my wedding =)

I thank God for what he has given us... as what everybody says... all of us may experience struggles in life but i'm so overjoyed and blessed for having you as my best frend EVER!

we maybe so miles away but always remember no one can ever replace the kind of friendship that we shared.

ilove u and take care of urself!!!

God bless........

cnu pa... ako pa din !
weewai



When I read Auie's heartwarming letter I was so moved that I had tears welling up in my eyes. Indeed when you look back in life there's no greater joy than to see how far you've gone and that you aged with TRUE friends if not a lot at least a few. Who knows and loves you inside out. All of a sudden past mistakes, previous heartaches, vanishes with tomorrow's promise. I am so thankful to God for having Auie as my best friend and I can't thank God enough for the continuous shower of blessings Ryan and I are receiving now. Life is still not a bed of roses but my life has surely turned around from the chaotic and somehow miserable life I grew up in.