Jul 2, 2005

Bee happy!

I'm taking up this subject this term called Positive Psychology. To my Psychology friends out there who just heard of the term -- you are not alone! In fact my professor said he is still gathering more info about this since it's a new school of thought in Psychology that strays away from what they call a "diseased model" - that we are more often used to (neurosis, psychosis, maladjustments and all). Usually we peer at human behavior closely as if there is always something wrong with the cognition, emotion etc. Positive Psychology looks at the world and sees what makes people happy and how else can they enhance their strengths. (Haha!As if people will still consult psychologist if they're happy...>a valid downside isn't it?)

That was just an introduction though, I'm not out here to discuss about it yet (maybe some other time). Just wanted to share about the assignment we have. It's about finding ways (as in deliberately) to be happy. Initial studies came up with list such as: writing to an old mentor, making a gratitude list, etc. other than than our prof wanted us to come up with a different ways, hence, contribute to this fairly new concept in psychology. Such activity which we will all do the rest of the week from the day it was given will be reported the following meeting. Even our prof will do the activity. When he told us about it I instantly knew what I wanted them to do..of course I so badly want to tell them to get married (to the right person) but gathering from what they have shared in the class discussions weddings are not close by.

Two weeks ago it was my turn to give them the assignment. I wanted them to give a compliment or two to at least 3 people in a day. Why? I am not conscious about it but I learned from the people around me that I easily give compliments pala and I wasn't aware because I
knew they deserved it. I only give credit when it's due. Such as: "uy ang ganda mo today!", "ang sweet mo naman", "ang galing mo ah!", "wow, bago ang blouse mo ang ganda!", "naks ang porma ah..may date?" and a lot more. A week before I left my previous company Weng told me "naku this week isusuot ko na lahat ng magaganda kong blouse kse pag alis mo wala nang pupuna sa akin." It wasn't the first time I was informed how appreciative I am but maybe being emotional at that time I felt and I knew that with a simple compliment you tend to move people.

Ironically I'm not good with compliments (part of the Filipino culture) but I was told to my face that when given a compliment I should be thankful! Besides despite trying to be humble you really feel good inside especially if you know the compliment is true (aminin!). Imagine this scenario, a person is having a bad day and you notice how good his or hair was done today. For a minute there you take people's mind off their worries and actually help them see the good in them or they have (physically or internally). Imagine how we carefully choose our clothes in the morning to look good (or kahit pa without any effort at your end) then you get noticed for what you're wearing or how you look like. Wouldn't you feel good?

I am happy when I make other people happy and I'm glad that after my classmates did the activity I gave them they all agreed that "appreciation" is a good value to practice. What made giving them the assignment so exciting for me was the thought that most of them were not used to give compliments and they were forced to do so. =) I know they will have a hilarious experience. People around them will definitely be surprised. I'm taking credit (even if not given, angatan na ito ng bangko!) that my assignment successfully made them happy in a way or two. Among my favorites are: one of my classmates tried giving compliments to a stranger - LRT cashier who was studying she told her "wow ang galing mo naman mag manage ng time nagwowork ka na nagaaral ka pa" and to their maid who's cooking ability was already common knowledge though verbal acknowledgement was never given she said one night "wow! ang sarap ng luto mo ah!" their maid was so surprised to hear that and so happy about the compliment that the happiness cascaded on my classmate as well. Another classmate targeted her boss that she hardly got along with she ended up finding that "hey, meron naman pala syang good qualities" now somehow their relationship (or maybe at least their professional relationship) has improved.

Pero twist of the assignment I gave them was what my prof did...when it was his turn to share he goes: "What?! di ko masyado naintindihan assignment na bigay mo...I thought give the same person at least 3 compliments in a day" Apparently he gave this to an undergraduate student who he thinks is intelligent and has plenty to share but refuses to recite ever. Then later on (remember they had two weeks to do the assignment), the girl is wondering why he'd been noticing her a lot, like saying "hey that's a nice idea" after she recites and a lot more. Kahit ikaw naman kung prof mo yun baka magisip ka bigla da vah?? Bata pa naman si sir. In fairness, he got her to recite more often. Sobra kmeng tawa ng tawa sa experience nya. He said tuloy to me "parang gusto na tuloy kita isama sa class ko to tell the girl na-- Uy kaya ko ginawa yun kse pinaassignment nya ha (sabay turo sa akin)..." Hilarious tlga si sir!! Not following instructions kse...(sana di sya mahilig mag-blog hop)

Pero seriously it really won't hurt to look and acknowledge the good in somebody or the beauty that surrounds you that you can thank God for. After all wala namang mawawala sa atin. You can try it and you'll see you'll gain something from it. You can also start by saying or thinking "assignment lng ito c/o of dowa" like my classmates did to have the courage and an excuse to do it. =) Really now... is there something to be afraid of in giving away compliments?

7 comments:

abieco said...

hello! naaliw naman ako sa post mo. counted ba yung pagtawag ko ng beauty sa mga katrabaho ko? (pero yung magaganda lang ang tinatawag kong beauty, ha! ayoko magsinungaling. hehe.

~dowadee~ said...

yey!tuwa naman ako kse nasasabihan mo din ako nun. hahaha!feeling...

captain_zid said...

one question, ganito din kaya kaganda ang kalalabasan ng subject na ito kung si ma'am lee ang nagturo? just a thought.

Piping Pepito said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Piping Pepito said...

ayan manang dowa! binura ko na bago pa... oops... hehehe! ;)

mabel said...

i won't forget your dedication to me last Christmas.. sabi mo "gumaganda tayo ah, inspired?", you made my day then!!
muwah!

Anonymous said...

just want to let you know that i totally agree with what you said -- that it won't hurt to give compliments to people (especially if they really deserve it).. un nga lang ang problema, pag tamang duda ung sinabihan mo (di maniniwala..hehe). seriously, giving compliments not only makes the other person feel good but it makes you feel good about yourself as well, knowing that you have helped brighten someone else's day.