Hindi seloso

It’s funny how my husbandry is not seloso “daw” kse wen the guy who I THOUGHT was the love of my life from the previous decade and another planet suddenly texted me. Ganito ang drama namin…

D: Mahal may opening ba sa inyo ng ECE?
R: Ewan ko…bakit sino ba yan?
D: Aa..e..ayun hulaan mo na…
R: Ummm...bakit gusto na nya lumipat e di ba maganda naman sa company nila?
D: (surprised to the nth power?? Baket close sila? E ni hindi ko nga alam anong meron sa career nun?) Ahh…mahal…sino ba ang akala mo?
R: (napaisip)
D: (nabuko na may ibang pwedeng pagselosan…hmmm)
R: (cool lng…) ah kala ko kse si (insert name of friend here) sa mga close friends ko you can text me for the name para klaro lng kung sino at hindi kung sino-sino iniisip nyo dyan! Eh sino ba yan?
D: Si ano…(insert name here)
*bigla akong nagsisi na we had this conversation in front of my mom na nanonood ng tv pero surely ang tenga nasa amin (akala ko kse iwas blood shed)…lalayuan ko muna si motherlily later dahil baka makurot ako sa singit.

Next chapter:

Pag akyat sa room…

D: Mahal di ka naman nagseselos di ba?
R: Di no...

Ahhh...ok so mature!besides wala namang dapat ika-selos dahil nagtatanong lng naman ang gung-gong about job openings.

11 pm-ish

May nag vibrate sa bed….super sleepy na ako I don’t want to check kung kaninong cellphone yun.

R: (insert my nickname here) nasan ang cellphone mo?
D: Andito…(in between dreams and right senses)
R: May nag-vibrate kse baka may text ka
D: (narinig ko pa yun pero din a nag-cooperate ang bibig ko to reply knockout na naman ako…)

After unknown several minutes he’s still reading my cellphone

D: (super wala pa din sa right senses) mahal may nagtext ba?
R: (chuckled at dali-daling binalik ang cellphone sa tabi ko) hehehe...binabasa ko...

Deadma antok na antok pa din ako. Na-cutean talaga ako kse super denial si mokong and when it comes to “him” mas nagselos pa sya sa iba kesa sa kanya..so may I sleep ako with a smile on my face.

Mga madaling araw na..kinapa ko cellphone ko kse feeling ko yung conversation namin panaginip lang lahat…when I turned my cellphone on it’s all real kahit groge ako sa pagka-antok. At ang magaling kong asawa sent messages pa ang binabasa…hmp!feeling naman nya napaka-sweet ng pinagttxt ko ke (um. yun na). Again knockout ako after….

When I woke up at good mood din si Ryan I told him—“naughty ka may ginawa ka kagabi no?”...Caught in a dead end…

R: hehehe!oo sinabi ko naman sayo na may nagtext eh ayaw mong gumising to check it.
D: Ahh…so may nag-text nga ba?
R: Wala
D: Eh anong binasa mo?
R: Lahat.
D: Ahh..eh di mahal nabasa mo yung text ni Ma’am Cecille?
R: Ummm..hindi. (pa-cute pa. in fairness cute naman)
D: Ahhh...eh akala ko ba lahat nabasa mo?
R: Eeehhh...lahat lng ng kay ”papa”
D: (bastos na to papa ang tawag baka sila nga ang may relasyon…hahahaha)

Well pano kme naghiwalay in the morning? Tawa ako ng tawa feeling mahaba ang buhok kahit na yung walang kamalay malay na texter eh nagtatanong lng po ng opening sa dating kong company napagselosan pa…ay oo nga pala di sya nagseselos. Pero di ako tinantanan ng mga pangungulit na…super cute talaga. Even when I’m writing this naaliw ako pag iniisip ko si Ryan…and sa totoo lng kung looks lang pagbabasehan dapat ako yata ang selosa! Hahahaha!

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In relation to that texter, pagka-graduate ko pa lng and kakasimula ko pa lng as an HR in NEC super dream ko nang ma-interview sya and magmalaki whatsoever. Yung feeling boss na high and mighty kahit hindi. Now it’s happening! Well kinda. Of course 7 months too late kse wala na nga ako sa NEC at goodness I was there for almost 4 years…nakakatawa pero wala lng palang effect nang mangyari and dati ko pang hinahangad. Mas masarap talaga ang fairy tales na hindi ko pa nasusulat sa literature journal ko. Mas spontaneous and unexpected ang lovelife ngayon...sabi na tlaga all in God’s grace!

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Sa fictional lovestory pa din…

Over na sa kilig ang hatid ni Jang-Guem at Kapitan! Although since I started watching Jewel in the Palace from a DVD I miss the in between background music of “ako’y alipin mong …” Hahaha!Baduy and of course yung pang cut at pang emphasize ng moment na.."unti-unting mararating..kalangitan at bituin". Sobra na akong affected! Napupuyat kme kse I don’t want to go to sleep na malungkot si Jang-Guem dapat happy ang takbo ng story at hindi nambubulabog ang mga Choi. Well, (WARNING: SPOILER ALERT) super happy ako na nag-tanan ang dalawa pero nagbabadya na maudlot..GRRR!!Actually pina-stop ko kay Ryan kse parang di kaya ng puso ko…I’m so happy for them and super doooper kakilig ang “pa-cute moments nila”. Ryan had to talk me out of it…actually he was already asking me to go downstairs para tapusin na nya at di ako istorbo. Last CD na namin tonight!! Grabe!!! Todo na ito!!!Tinalo ang pagkahumaling ko sa Lovers in Paris…siguro kse adik na adik din si Ryan..mwahahaha! (I'm gonna be killed that I'm letting out his secret) Actually I really think I'm gonna be killed for this entire entry...hahaha!! Love you Deng!!

On Planning...

My best friend shared with me this...I don't know where she got it from but I liked it a lot and it speaks so much of what I've gone through in life not just recently but I guess the past, present & future struggles that I have as a daughter, sister, wife, HR, student, friend...

The best gift anyone can give me this new year is a planner.
I like planners because I am a planner.
I like thinking ahead.
I like being prepared.
I get a high from being on top of things.

But some things are beyond planning.

And life doesn't always turn out as planned.
You don't plan for a broken heart.
You don't plan for a failed business venture.
You don't plan for an adulterous husband.
Or a wife who wants you out of her life.
You don't plan for an autistic child.
You don't plan for spinsterhood.
You don't plan for a lump in your breast.

You plan to be young forever.
You plan to climb the corporate ladder.
You plan to be rich and powerful.
You plan to be acclaimed and successful.
You plan to conquer the universe.
You plan to fall in love - and be loved forever.

You don't plan to be sad.
You don't plan to be hurt.
You don't plan to be broke.
You don't plan to be betrayed.
You don't plan to be alone in this world.
You plan to be happy.
You don't plan to be shattered.

Sometimes if you work hard enough, you can get what you want. But most times, what you want and what you get are two different things. We, mortals, plan. But so does God in the heavens.

Sometimes, it is difficult to understand God's plans - especially whenHis plans are not in consonance with ours. Often, when God sends us crisis, we turn to Him in anger. True, we cannot choose the cross that God wishes us to carry, but we can carry that cross with courage knowing that God will never abandon us nor send something we cannot cope with.

Sometimes, God breaks our spirit to save our soul.
Sometimes, He breaks our heart to make us whole.
Sometimes, God sends us pain so we can be stronger.
Sometimes, God sends us failure so we can be humble.
Sometimes, God sends us illness so we can take better care of ourselves.
Sometimes, God takes everything away from us so we can learn the value of everything He gave us.

Make plans but understand that we live by God's grace.

{Thanks Auie!I miss you sooo much!}