What's up?

Here I am and I thought as a stay-at-home-mom I have the luxury to blog more often. I was obviously mistaken. I was not mistaken though that it will be tough at first and boy was is really tough not only for me but also for Ryan. Our baby 18 mos old (Jan) started having tantrums before sleeping. As in if it's sleeping time she throws tantrums despite her droopy sleepy eyes. She just wants to stay awake and play or do something like ransack my drawers. We tried everything pretended to sleep, turned off the lights, fed her well, gave her a sleep routine nothing worked. There was even one time that Ryan and I both fell asleep for a few minutes when I opened my eyes there she was playing still. We took her to a developmental pedia not that she can do anything with it but I was hoping that she has a broader understanding in a child's development to no avail her advice was as useless as the other things we have tried. Well ok somehow talking to her made us pinpoint that the baby is sabik to play with daddy. Hence she wants to extend the evening.

It was more frustrating for me because I thought I was equipped with children's development studying it for my masters. Apparently with a wailing child and lack of sleep you simply can't put theories into practice. What finally worked was Ryan would stay out until she falls asleep. This worked for two weeks and now even if she still sleeps late 11 PM or 12 AM she manages to sleep with Ryan around. Coz poor Ryan had been forgotten several times waiting for me to call him or text him when both Iaree and I are already faraway in dreamland.

After that and until now full time motherhood and housewife is so much fun. It simply meant I have to have a routine or at least a flexible one to accommodate sleep hour changes of Iaree. I have to cook food 1-2 days before so I have something prepared if Iaree is being difficult (defined as: won't leave mommy's side or asks to be carried). Another bad habit we missed correcting and now I understand the consequences was she got used to be carried to sleep. Hence while she takes her nap at noon I am carrying her. Leaving me free to only watch my Sex and the City episodes in the laptop. Once in a while with my free hand I chat with friends and family to keep in touch.

I feel guilty about this but her addiction to Barney & Barbie gives me a few hours to do other chores or sometimes cook and take a bath. Generally she behaves very well. As long as I give her undivided play time if she got engrossed mommy can cook or pick up the mess in the house. Aside from the mess and the unfolded wash clothes I have everything under control. Now I understand how rewarding it is to spend time with your baby. Iaree baby is so sweet - she asks for hugs all the time, sings the alphabet A-G and LMNOP. And she recognizes the letters already as we have alphabet ref magnets. Gone was the 17 month old baby so difficult to feed. She was such a hearty eater now. At 20 mos she has built up a lot of vocabulary and so many action songs. I love every minute of it!Something I know I will miss very soon. Thanks to my wonderful husband who made me feel I am not alone with the household chores or taking care of the baby and especially for making it possible to be Stay At Home Mom.

The elusive case of happiness

I am aware of my 2 month absence here and instead of telling you previous accounts as to what happened in between I thought I would share something more delightful to ponder about while my baby is sleeping in my arms literally(yes I'm typing with pne hand) and I cross my fingers I finish this entry before she wakes up.

Back in DLSU I took this subject in my master's degree that talks about happiness. I'm sure I have a few entries about that in the past. Given that psychology always deals with the negative aspects in life...disorders,dysfunctions what is faulty blah blah blah. It's refereshing to know that a team of experts are giving light to what they call the Psychology of Happiness.

I just realized that while chatting with a friend about her marital woes and that statement - im swallowing everything coz' I have to; really really bugged me because she's a dear dear friend and it's sad to hear that from her. While I watch my other friends dissolve marriage around me and with my fair share of quarrels and dealing with my other half. It makes me think when do we actually give up on ourselves, to what extent do we give up our own happiness? I told my friend that she always have a choice and as I was thinking to tell her I want her to be happy I thought scrap that idea!!We all either give in too much to our worries or we try too hard to find happiness that there are days we dont know what happiness is.

Is it staying in an emotionally abusive marriage? Is it leaving your philandering husband at the expense of losing communication with your children? Is it closing your eyes to your wife's infidelity and grab the first chance you get to do the same?
Well I guess I'll never know the answer and I pray to God I wont have to ask the question. This is neither a lecture about marriage nor am I in a position to judge anyone. It's just that we look too hard to look for it but actually it's not a black and white thing and what makes one happy doesn't make the other one so.

End of the conversation with my friend I just wished her lesser unhappy days and told her I'll be here for her on those days. Coz staying happy and being happy will be there but for days that are so dismal, gloomy and unavoidably unhappy you'd be grateful to have a good friend around.

A Very Happy 2008 Christmas

Christmas time is my favorite holiday since it has it all:
1. FAMILY
1.5 Christmas Shopping!!
2. Food and yummy leftovers the morning after
3. Opening and distributing the gifts
4. Picture taking while dress well

Remembering in our hearts that God's love for all has brought him to be one of us.

We are very fortunate that Ryan's company has a 2-week long Christmas break and we cannot plan our Singapore trip since our application for a dependent visa under the new company's entity might be processed during this time. Hence our passport will not be on hand. Once he has confirmed it wont be I immediately checked out the bus trips and my my it's all fully booked!From the cheapest bus line to the most expensive. THe only option left was to drive to Singapore which we finally opted.

It was a tiring drive for Ryan and our baby girl was patient enough through the entire ride except when she was feeling sleepy as was not quite comfortable in the car seat. Other than that she did not complain at all.

We arrived late in Singapore than expected. We kept on circling around in the border of Malaysia & SG because the GPS keeps on pointing in a road that is not being used anymore. It was pretty hilarious as we can see the immigration from where we are and we were joking that if I started walking we could've been finished with the formalities by the time they find their way there.

Driving to SG was pretty cool (says the passenger not the driver). We have done away with the very long que at the immigration and happily sat inside the car singing and waiting for our turn as if it's a lenghty and thorough tollgate.

When we reached Isip residence they were still out buying groceries. Considering the time and since the lady of the house is not around I was pretty sure I wont be able to cook as proposed. It was the first Noche Buena that I was not tied in the kitchen. Rightfully so the meals prepared was a feast to the palette! Free accommodation, presents for our entire family and a yummy fill to the tummy. Despite James being in the office my childhood friend & his family were very good hosts to us.

The next two days were hectic for a Singapore Zoo trip & Sentosa tour but our very dear and beloved driver was too bushed to add one more day for a city tour not to mention we are so so so so ashamed with James if we stayed for another day. So we reserved our city tour of Singapore and meeting friends for the next visit. =)

Sweet taste of fulfillment

YEY!!

It feels great to finally watch it. Unplanned, Iaree just fell asleep and Ryan said go ahead and check the sched. Turns out it was a far not so popular mall and computing the travel time we can make just in time.

The film was, as what most say, not up to your expectations of a thumbs up but it was good. I mean it was not that bad. The major thing I did not appreciate was I think in the movie the build up of Bella & Edward's romance was not so convincing.

I was just happy to be finally watching Twilight sitting next to my real, true to life, warm & non biting Edward. Who I unconditionally and irrevocably love.

Hopefully (I will try my best) my last entry about Twilight

I finished the saga!!I started Dec 4 and finished the last book Dec 14. I read Remember Me (Sophie Kinsella) in between coz I got awfully bored with the first book. I just got curious to if and when Bella will really become a vampire. Needless to say I fell in love with the characters Edward, Bella, Jacob, Alice etc...How can you not when they all perfectly blend in harmony together. I tried to ward of the boredom I still felt somewhere in between each of the books.

I eagerly waited for Ryan to come back from his Canada trip but Monday he was still jet lagged. Tuesday was my last day at work. Wednesday Ryan thought it's selfish to leave the baby considering her bad mood (she's sleepy as she woke up too early) Thursday he had a meeting. Friday more meetings. Saturday (I wasn't expecting it anymore but when I checked online) voila it was still showing! 1:40 PM showing yey! I bathed Iaree baby I also took a bath and dressed up. When we were about to leave Iaree who's separation tantrums I can count in one hand threw a fit. This time it was me who conceded.


Well...not all stories have happy endings so I just resigned to the fact that I'll just wait for the DVD of this. Browse through youtube for short clips. Convince myself that those who read the book did not enjoy it anyway.

While writing this I suddenly had a deja vu. I saw myself crying to my grandma in the living room because my aunt told me to go back home and not watch a movie with my friends when classes were cancelled. I was too honest to seek permission before going to the cinema then my honesty was paid off by a big big "NO!". I followed despite violent objections of my 10 girl friends, few of their boyfriends and some classmates who planned the impromptu movie date. I was really really disappointed and my lola was comforting me when I went home alone. Tomorrow is my lola's birthday. I hope she reaches out to me now and really comfort me. =( Now I'm missing her more than feeling sad not being able to watch a movie...or maybe both. Happy birthday lola!!And today should have been my lolo & lola's wedding anniversary...so wherever you both are -- I miss you so much & I love you!!I wish you can see my darling daughter!

Mixed emotions

Its my last day tomorrow...

Ryan just came back...

For the first time in my life I will not work...

I will be a full time mom...

I have a bad case of Twilight hangover...I want all things Twilight and I want to infect others as well.

I still haven't watched the movie yet! Though I'm dying to see it...despite the expected disappointment that there are so many cut scenes in the movie due to Malaysia's censorship.

I am restraining myself to work surely these are last ounces of the workaholic in me.

I still haven't dealt with my brother, my mom & my father after my last words with them. Argh!

Let's wait and see...I can only held my breath as the story of my life unfolds.

Happy, scared, excited, anxious, very very eager to watch Twilight!Hay...back to the same old crazy me.

Twilight Fever

It finally caught me. Like an infectious attack to all my friends I too was bit.

I would say after: working in a faraway province of Cyberjaya, barely having time to play with my daughter(let alone watch tv), plus the absence of my usual date who is off to Canada for a while, some would say I am a boring clueless hermit.

Everytime I see the buzz on my most of my friends's, blog, plurk and YM status I fought hard not to ask what the hell is Twilight. Clueless galore.

Finally on the first night of being alone, my daughter fast asleep I saw one of my college friend's status in YM that states - I don't just love you Edward Cullen you are my life. Knowing how much of a serial dater she was I seriously thought he was the latest flavor of the month. Until again of course she explained that he was the main character in Twilight. Interestingly, a former colleague, on the same night had this on her YM status - cheesy ew..or something like that about Twilight.

So that's how it all started. I was chating with both of them at the same time and boy do they have stong opposing views about Twilight except for one - they both told me the book was better. I thought it always is so let me be the judge. I started reading the first book courtesy of the ebook Donna sent me. As much as I wanted to move it to my mobile phone instead I read right there in the laptop.

Here goes:

I like the fact that Stephanie Meyer has artistically characterized the struggle of a vampire who fell in love with a human. All these started with his craving to feed on her blood after smelling her. It was utterly romantic when he was confessing this fact to Bella. The highest credit I would give to their very witty exchange of lines which caught my interest. It makes me sigh and miss Ryan much more - sweet, sardonic - "unconditionally & irrevocably" lovable.

However, the build up of the story was quite dragging and can be a little boring at some parts. Without the movie trailers (courtesy of you tube), it's hard to for imagine the contradiction of his beauty and gracefulness against a savage beast (well "civilized" anyway as per the Cullens way of living). Although it was meant well to further downplay the image of a vampire it was not easy to digest that the vampires avoid sunlight because they sparkle.

It was a good read but overall Christopher Pike books are still my favorite when it comes to narrating supernatural or thrillers mixed with romance.

So I'm on to the next-NEW MOON and so that I make sure the venom infects my dear hubby I have downloaded the antire audio book for him. His eyes cant handle the reading.

And well as for the movie I've set the date...better late than never.

Single mom

My days of a single mom starts today =(...well at least for the next 2 weeks, whew!
Still two weeks seems like eternity especially for 8 years the longest I've been apart from Ryan would be 2 days when he would go back home to Pampanga (his hometown) for a weekend. Huhuhu.

I think little drama princess is feeling it too. She was awakened by the call of the airport limo who came to pick daddy up. Although she was alert & was laughing when I was putting her back to sleep she just suddenly stopped, her lower lip fell and all of a sudden her eyes were red. I asked her what's wrong and she ducked her head in the comforter for a few seconds when i pulled her up tears were streaming down her face. And she didn't make a sound. She just stared back at me.

Aiyooh Dad!We are missing you already!

Later we'll upload some pre-departure pics. FOr now sleepy ulit kme ni Iaree girl.