I have resigned!!
And as if the news isn't big enough I’m proud to say that for the first time I did so without securing my next job. Somehow recent events kept me from updating my blog. The entire month of May I was either suffering from extreme stress at work or trying to balance it by having great vacations. In fairness I made so many attempts of composing something but never had the time or strength to finish it.
This May I staged my own EDSA revolt in the office haha!exag lng yun. I held on as long as I could not to mention the unanimous advice of the people around me that it's not practical to resign without job security. I only needed to hear my husband's go signal and nothing else mattered. Sorry friends! I know all people around me mean well and I'm not the type who would give up on something either. In fact it is my commitment to serve and accomplish my job that made it difficult for me to leave.
I handed in 2 resignation letters: a casual one (that is not supposed to go to the 201 file) and a formal one that’s intended for filing. The casual resignation letter was more heartfelt although it may have sounded overly dramatic at that time it was something necessary. An excerpt of it:
I am not resigning to avoid any more conflict with you since I am confident that we both will be able to resolve it eventually but the process is too painstakingly long.
I am not resigning to save my face from my shortcomings & foul ups since I do not deny my wrong doings but I cannot always take the fall for things I did not do nor intended to.
I am not resigning because I’m mad or any feeling relative to that.
The reason why I’m resigning is because I do not like the person that I have become as a result of preceding events. I have become too paranoid which affected my work and behavior in the office fearing-- now, more than ever that-- what I’m working on or doing might be wrong which I would relentlessly hear about. I do not want to wake up one day and lose my confidence and faith in myself altogether. I put you in an unpleasant position and I become less effective than what is expected of me.
I also pondered on these things:
> When people resign it's not always about the money. At a certain point of our life money could be a good motivation but it will not make us happy in the long run. As long as your basic needs are met and a little luxury now and then, then it's essential to keep your eyes open for more important things in life.
> There really is no perfect company or boss. Chances are I'll have a more difficult boss or luckily a better one. Fear of the unknown will not stop me. I'd rather take the 50/50 risk than staying knowing what I have here will not change.
> Nothing is permanent and one should always be flexible to change.
> Go and make a difference in people's lives because in the end who you are to them will be your legacy. I will always be grateful for my true friends at NSP! I hope somehow I have touched their lives.
> Through it all I'm glad to have Ryan by my side whether he's my husband or not because I know even if he weren't my husband yet I could always depend on him.
Once in a while I get pretty anxious. I don't think I can even maintain my vanity rituals or simply having the financial freedom (though I’m not such a big spender). Sigh..Though Ryan always say it’s okay nakakahiya pa ding ipashoulder sa kanya lahat ng kalandian ko noh! Can’t imagine not doing anything…waah! But looking at the brighter side of things I could concentrate on being a wife & a student. Now I can really take things in strides... I wonder if staying here or staying at home doing nothing would give me a better chance of keeping my sanity. Hmmm?
P.S.
Please pray for my numerous job applications. It has been a while since I sat on the other side of the table and I feel I’ll have difficult time explaining why I quit without waiting for a next offer.
May 31, 2005
Apr 27, 2005
Sinigang Success
It's really not my talent yet to cook Filipino dishes kasi my lola was an excellent cook & my tita
takes after her so I ventured experimenting my favorite dishes from restaurants mostly western dishes and most especially salads. This is the third time I cooked sinigang (my husband's favorite dish) and a first without the guidance of my tita so I was able to do what I wanted to. What made the sinigang more special was that I had to cook it after I finished doing the dishes after dinner last Monday I started at around 9:30 and finished past 12.
That includes the cooling time before I put it inside the ref...whew!I was so drained. Last night
my labor was rewarded after seeing Ryan eat for two people...hehe!That was more than a compliment already. If only I have the energy & time (of course) to prepare dishes like this he'll gain more weight than what he had in no time!
and Ryan's lunchtime saga continues:
I believe it was 2 weeks ago that I barely prepared meals at home which left Ryan "baonless" and "unloved" as his officemates would put it. The following week I was able prepare it na. His subordinates invited him for lunch..."Sir lunch na po tayo!" Ryan replied proudly: " May baon ako mahal ako ng asawa ko eh!" the poor subordinate left sulking about the fact his wife didn't prepare him packed lunch and his superior rubbing it on his face. The next day the same subordinate invited him again this time waving his packed lunch "Sir kain na po tayo may baon din ako mahal ako ng asawa ko eh" Ryan who was unaffected replied "Ah ganon ba? Mas mahal ako ng asawa ko kse andyan sya ngayon sabay kme maglulunch" Hehehe...tsk tsk!Kala pa naman nya nakabawi na sya little did he know we were having a lunch out that day...wala tlga syang laban sa magaling kong asawa...hehehe! This sounds like a wala-ka-sa-lolo-ko story noh?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
there's nothing interesting with my life lately that I can broadcast about...but who knows, if there's any development with what's keeping me busy other than what you already know of
then I might be blogging about it soon.
takes after her so I ventured experimenting my favorite dishes from restaurants mostly western dishes and most especially salads. This is the third time I cooked sinigang (my husband's favorite dish) and a first without the guidance of my tita so I was able to do what I wanted to. What made the sinigang more special was that I had to cook it after I finished doing the dishes after dinner last Monday I started at around 9:30 and finished past 12.
That includes the cooling time before I put it inside the ref...whew!I was so drained. Last night
my labor was rewarded after seeing Ryan eat for two people...hehe!That was more than a compliment already. If only I have the energy & time (of course) to prepare dishes like this he'll gain more weight than what he had in no time!
and Ryan's lunchtime saga continues:
I believe it was 2 weeks ago that I barely prepared meals at home which left Ryan "baonless" and "unloved" as his officemates would put it. The following week I was able prepare it na. His subordinates invited him for lunch..."Sir lunch na po tayo!" Ryan replied proudly: " May baon ako mahal ako ng asawa ko eh!" the poor subordinate left sulking about the fact his wife didn't prepare him packed lunch and his superior rubbing it on his face. The next day the same subordinate invited him again this time waving his packed lunch "Sir kain na po tayo may baon din ako mahal ako ng asawa ko eh" Ryan who was unaffected replied "Ah ganon ba? Mas mahal ako ng asawa ko kse andyan sya ngayon sabay kme maglulunch" Hehehe...tsk tsk!Kala pa naman nya nakabawi na sya little did he know we were having a lunch out that day...wala tlga syang laban sa magaling kong asawa...hehehe! This sounds like a wala-ka-sa-lolo-ko story noh?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
there's nothing interesting with my life lately that I can broadcast about...but who knows, if there's any development with what's keeping me busy other than what you already know of
then I might be blogging about it soon.
Apr 19, 2005
Darna becomes Narda
New flash! I'm NOT busy! I'm enjoying every minute of life's small strides as opposed to my usual double skip & run pace!
I'm in a better mood and I think clearer...=) I was able to clean up my table in the office!! Dirt was already settling (good thing wala pang 5S Audit).
This morning I was able to cook breakfast for everybody (my cousin, brother, sister in law, aunt & of course hubby & me) and I was able to prepare our packed lunch. Ryan's officemates were teasing him that his wife doesn't love him anymore because he has no more baons. They have a hypothesis na love ka ng wife mo if she sends you baon everyday and based on experience I suppose – it doesn’t last that long, nagsasawa din si misis magayos ng pabaon. They started noticing and teasing Ryan when he was frequently joining them for lunch outs ...Though I normally don't care what other people say about me I am bothered by the fact that my hectic schedule did not allow me to take care of my husband the way I used to. To add to the list I was able to blow-dry my hair (na bagong gupit!). At the cab on the way to the office I was able to apply some make-up na na normally after lunch ko na nagagawa sa kakamadali.......
Last night, we hanged out at Coffee Beans with one of our friends just chatting; which Ry & I continued in such high spirits at home. Yung tipong kwentuhan about anything under the sun without having to worry about anything. It suddenly hit me that I was like this before especially nung di pa kme mag-asawa...so I asked him: "Miss mo na ba na ganito ako" then he said "Oo kse kaya nga I married you kse you were so fun to be with eh ngayon lagi ako natutulog magisa at walang ka-hug" although he said afterwards that he was just teasing me and he's okay with it he even added "dati kse all you talk about is kailangan ko pa mag-aral..." (then I would sleep late kaya wala syang ka-hug).
Hayy naku what did I do to myself? Life is so much fun like this? Kse naman hirap ng tri-sem eh! Or do I just really feel it because I'm done with my major tasks na rin sa office? Whatever it is I love my schedule how can I make it more like this without giving up the things that I want to achieve? Oh well no room for serious thoughts muna...basta this week and hopefully for a longer time before I go back to school I am not a "wonder woman" trying to do everything at the same time...I'm just an ordinary girl!
I'm in a better mood and I think clearer...=) I was able to clean up my table in the office!! Dirt was already settling (good thing wala pang 5S Audit).
This morning I was able to cook breakfast for everybody (my cousin, brother, sister in law, aunt & of course hubby & me) and I was able to prepare our packed lunch. Ryan's officemates were teasing him that his wife doesn't love him anymore because he has no more baons. They have a hypothesis na love ka ng wife mo if she sends you baon everyday and based on experience I suppose – it doesn’t last that long, nagsasawa din si misis magayos ng pabaon. They started noticing and teasing Ryan when he was frequently joining them for lunch outs ...Though I normally don't care what other people say about me I am bothered by the fact that my hectic schedule did not allow me to take care of my husband the way I used to. To add to the list I was able to blow-dry my hair (na bagong gupit!). At the cab on the way to the office I was able to apply some make-up na na normally after lunch ko na nagagawa sa kakamadali.......
Last night, we hanged out at Coffee Beans with one of our friends just chatting; which Ry & I continued in such high spirits at home. Yung tipong kwentuhan about anything under the sun without having to worry about anything. It suddenly hit me that I was like this before especially nung di pa kme mag-asawa...so I asked him: "Miss mo na ba na ganito ako" then he said "Oo kse kaya nga I married you kse you were so fun to be with eh ngayon lagi ako natutulog magisa at walang ka-hug" although he said afterwards that he was just teasing me and he's okay with it he even added "dati kse all you talk about is kailangan ko pa mag-aral..." (then I would sleep late kaya wala syang ka-hug).
Hayy naku what did I do to myself? Life is so much fun like this? Kse naman hirap ng tri-sem eh! Or do I just really feel it because I'm done with my major tasks na rin sa office? Whatever it is I love my schedule how can I make it more like this without giving up the things that I want to achieve? Oh well no room for serious thoughts muna...basta this week and hopefully for a longer time before I go back to school I am not a "wonder woman" trying to do everything at the same time...I'm just an ordinary girl!
Apr 9, 2005
hangover on weddings
I'm currently taking up 2 subjects in my masteral degree and I just realized that both of my concept paper (intergration of what we learned from the subject and application to the Philippine setting) touches on the topic of marriage...talk about hang-over!
See previous post for an excerpt of my paper on the subject - Gender, Sexuality and Culture. Warning: contains very bold, scandalous & sensitive observations and discussions most of you won't even imagine I can dare say (especially my h.s & college friends...hehehe!).
Living with a Past: Women with Previous Sexual Relations
An excerpt of my concept paper in one of my subjects:
Read at your own risk...medyo sensitive and just talking about such topic makes me a deviant of our so-called "norms" -- hehe!
Modernization of the Philippines may have changed our moral values in so many ways but it is still undeniable that when it comes to women’s virginity one’s stand remains the same – it should be saved for marriage. A study conducted by Villa & Jalandoni (1986), showed that non-virginity is accepted and encouraged in men, while virginity in women is preferred. Perhaps what modernization has done was change how such norm is being carried out or expressed. While men would say that it does not matter if the woman they are marrying is no longer a virgin; treatment or their attitude towards it when in such a relationship could be otherwise (Balmeo & Sarmiento, 2002). While women say that they would only give up their virginity when they get married; informal surveys would prove otherwise as well.
If this is what’s actually happening then what goes in the mind of women who have given up their virginity? How soon and how well do men accept the fact that they are not the first man in the life of their girlfriend or wife? Is the burden of guilt for deviating from society’s expectation still weighed on women’s shoulders? Or does she care less about what society dictates and simply follow her own desires?
People in the Western culture are more broad-minded and liberal when it comes to attitudes and views about pre-marital sex (Escolar et.al., 2000) and compared to our conservative minds virginity is not much of their concern. In reference to Belen (1989) during the time their research in Metro Manila was done, female college students indicated that 30 percent of them were no longer a virgin, and a high percentage of that number became pregnant, failed in their studies, abandoned by their parents, or pursued a life of shame. Emphasizing that women who have lost their virginity fear for living such a life. Not because they have gotten away with it without being pregnant or nobody in her family knew about she has been devirginized means that they are not living the shadow of our culture’s pressure.
Norms that we live by is best explained through the social roles that we were brought up to. People conform to gender-appropriate behavior in part because others expect them to do so. Other people can deliver penalties for deviation from gender roles and rewards for role-congruent behaviors (Eagly et.al. ). Research on this subject is focused on social role of being reserved and a virgin as prescribed by our society and the penalties women serve deviating from it.
blah...blah....blah....
Read at your own risk...medyo sensitive and just talking about such topic makes me a deviant of our so-called "norms" -- hehe!
Modernization of the Philippines may have changed our moral values in so many ways but it is still undeniable that when it comes to women’s virginity one’s stand remains the same – it should be saved for marriage. A study conducted by Villa & Jalandoni (1986), showed that non-virginity is accepted and encouraged in men, while virginity in women is preferred. Perhaps what modernization has done was change how such norm is being carried out or expressed. While men would say that it does not matter if the woman they are marrying is no longer a virgin; treatment or their attitude towards it when in such a relationship could be otherwise (Balmeo & Sarmiento, 2002). While women say that they would only give up their virginity when they get married; informal surveys would prove otherwise as well.
If this is what’s actually happening then what goes in the mind of women who have given up their virginity? How soon and how well do men accept the fact that they are not the first man in the life of their girlfriend or wife? Is the burden of guilt for deviating from society’s expectation still weighed on women’s shoulders? Or does she care less about what society dictates and simply follow her own desires?
People in the Western culture are more broad-minded and liberal when it comes to attitudes and views about pre-marital sex (Escolar et.al., 2000) and compared to our conservative minds virginity is not much of their concern. In reference to Belen (1989) during the time their research in Metro Manila was done, female college students indicated that 30 percent of them were no longer a virgin, and a high percentage of that number became pregnant, failed in their studies, abandoned by their parents, or pursued a life of shame. Emphasizing that women who have lost their virginity fear for living such a life. Not because they have gotten away with it without being pregnant or nobody in her family knew about she has been devirginized means that they are not living the shadow of our culture’s pressure.
Norms that we live by is best explained through the social roles that we were brought up to. People conform to gender-appropriate behavior in part because others expect them to do so. Other people can deliver penalties for deviation from gender roles and rewards for role-congruent behaviors (Eagly et.al. ). Research on this subject is focused on social role of being reserved and a virgin as prescribed by our society and the penalties women serve deviating from it.
blah...blah....blah....
Apr 4, 2005
that "hurt" feeling
We watched ms. congeniality 2 last Saturday and had a hearty dinner at Sakura. We're celebrating over something and besides sa sobrang busy namin lately ngayon lng kme nag-official date.
I had a hangover after the movie. Agent Gracie Hart (played by my favorite actress Sandra Bullock) was so heartbroken that she felt compelled to accept a job she never would have done if she's on her right senses. There are several moments in the movie that you could really feel that she's hurt and lonely but she built a facade so that no one would notice it. To such point
that she completely was a changed person. Although the change was for better it was not her pa din.
It made me all sentimental. (Weird as it may sound) I felt that I miss feeling hurt. It was something that I used to thrive in. "Heartbroken" felt like the only problem in the world to me. Sleepless nights, swollen eyes and of course all my melodramatic poems, short stories & novels that never ended. I was hopeless than a hopeless romantic.
I was like this half my HS years and my entire college years..so pathetic when I think of it now. Almost six years? To get over my hurt feelings (I will never be loved..I'm not pretty enough..I will never get married..rantings) I had to go across the world and literally tell myself to grow up and get over it. I did. There are so many unanswered questions but I promised I will love myself first and stop obssessing on being "in love".
It was actually before we left for Oman (somewhere in Middle East where my dad is working) that I met Ryan. I had a problem with my internet that night ka-chat ko pa naman ang isa sa 100 crushes ko..hehe! Anyways, ang weird pero of all the guys I talked to he never hit on me right away kahit most guys fall for my voice on the phone (believe me that is not self-esteem
boosting kse naman ano mapapala ng isang tao sa magandang boses). Nevertheless we had a nice long chat after he assisted me in fixing my internet connection. (He was working at our ISP).
So after the trip to Oman super refreshed na ako and I told my self not to get involved na muna. Blame it on the M.U's and my unrequited "admiration" to a particular guy. (haha!admiration na lng ngayon kse alam ko na ang meaning ng L.O.V.E!!) To my surprise naputol ang internet ko dahil di nabayaran when we were away. Then I called our ISP to ask if I can at least
send lng an email to my dad to tell him we arrived safely. Can you imagine? Si Ryan na naman ang nakausap ko..we both remembered na we talked na before tapos may pa-bola bola pa ang mokong na since malakas daw ako sa kanya i-coconnect nya ako ulit. (Un pala nung kme na pwede naman palang temporary connection with a promise to pay)
In short, (kse pag sinama ko ang love story namin dito nobela na naman or should I say mas nobela kesa dito) when I met Ryan I forgot how it felt to be hurt. He introduced a feeling far more greater than my bisyo of "hurting myself" (yes, sometimes kahit di na dapat dahil sa kagagahan ko I hurt myself in the process) or staying hurt. Although feeling hurt was not at all
bad. Feeling ko I had high grades in college kse pag inis na inis ako binubuhos ko sa pag-aaral..gusto ko pang mag-excel lalo para ipamukha sa ...hmp!never mind. I got into music and had fruitful recreations...(Sooo like Gracie Hart!) and you feel so important kse baby ka ng friends mo!(hahaha!inenjoy!) Plus ang hilig ko kumain...I can finish a whole pint of
ice cream in one sitting + other food. Kakaiba ako ma-depress.hehe!
Not because I missed feeling hurt means I would want to feel it again. No way jose! Friends naman kme ni..although friends naman talaga kme before. I still get the motivation to excel and do well in my studies only this time positive na...inspired na ako!Napaka-supportive yata ng asawa ko..actually kahit BF ko pa lng sya nun he was so supportive in my studies and whatever I want to pursue. Most of all super sarap ng ganito ka-happy & ganito ka-inlove!! Perhaps that "hurt" feeling just taught me a lot of things I never would have known if all things are great in my life and it especially made me realize and value what I have with Ryan. =) We both had our own share of hurt feelings and maybe one could say that because of that we do not hold back on showing how we love each other or take care of each other.
All those hurt feelings paid well in the end.....kahit dati it felt like the end of the world.
I had a hangover after the movie. Agent Gracie Hart (played by my favorite actress Sandra Bullock) was so heartbroken that she felt compelled to accept a job she never would have done if she's on her right senses. There are several moments in the movie that you could really feel that she's hurt and lonely but she built a facade so that no one would notice it. To such point
that she completely was a changed person. Although the change was for better it was not her pa din.
It made me all sentimental. (Weird as it may sound) I felt that I miss feeling hurt. It was something that I used to thrive in. "Heartbroken" felt like the only problem in the world to me. Sleepless nights, swollen eyes and of course all my melodramatic poems, short stories & novels that never ended. I was hopeless than a hopeless romantic.
I was like this half my HS years and my entire college years..so pathetic when I think of it now. Almost six years? To get over my hurt feelings (I will never be loved..I'm not pretty enough..I will never get married..rantings) I had to go across the world and literally tell myself to grow up and get over it. I did. There are so many unanswered questions but I promised I will love myself first and stop obssessing on being "in love".
It was actually before we left for Oman (somewhere in Middle East where my dad is working) that I met Ryan. I had a problem with my internet that night ka-chat ko pa naman ang isa sa 100 crushes ko..hehe! Anyways, ang weird pero of all the guys I talked to he never hit on me right away kahit most guys fall for my voice on the phone (believe me that is not self-esteem
boosting kse naman ano mapapala ng isang tao sa magandang boses). Nevertheless we had a nice long chat after he assisted me in fixing my internet connection. (He was working at our ISP).
So after the trip to Oman super refreshed na ako and I told my self not to get involved na muna. Blame it on the M.U's and my unrequited "admiration" to a particular guy. (haha!admiration na lng ngayon kse alam ko na ang meaning ng L.O.V.E!!) To my surprise naputol ang internet ko dahil di nabayaran when we were away. Then I called our ISP to ask if I can at least
send lng an email to my dad to tell him we arrived safely. Can you imagine? Si Ryan na naman ang nakausap ko..we both remembered na we talked na before tapos may pa-bola bola pa ang mokong na since malakas daw ako sa kanya i-coconnect nya ako ulit. (Un pala nung kme na pwede naman palang temporary connection with a promise to pay)
In short, (kse pag sinama ko ang love story namin dito nobela na naman or should I say mas nobela kesa dito) when I met Ryan I forgot how it felt to be hurt. He introduced a feeling far more greater than my bisyo of "hurting myself" (yes, sometimes kahit di na dapat dahil sa kagagahan ko I hurt myself in the process) or staying hurt. Although feeling hurt was not at all
bad. Feeling ko I had high grades in college kse pag inis na inis ako binubuhos ko sa pag-aaral..gusto ko pang mag-excel lalo para ipamukha sa ...hmp!never mind. I got into music and had fruitful recreations...(Sooo like Gracie Hart!) and you feel so important kse baby ka ng friends mo!(hahaha!inenjoy!) Plus ang hilig ko kumain...I can finish a whole pint of
ice cream in one sitting + other food. Kakaiba ako ma-depress.hehe!
Not because I missed feeling hurt means I would want to feel it again. No way jose! Friends naman kme ni..although friends naman talaga kme before. I still get the motivation to excel and do well in my studies only this time positive na...inspired na ako!Napaka-supportive yata ng asawa ko..actually kahit BF ko pa lng sya nun he was so supportive in my studies and whatever I want to pursue. Most of all super sarap ng ganito ka-happy & ganito ka-inlove!! Perhaps that "hurt" feeling just taught me a lot of things I never would have known if all things are great in my life and it especially made me realize and value what I have with Ryan. =) We both had our own share of hurt feelings and maybe one could say that because of that we do not hold back on showing how we love each other or take care of each other.
All those hurt feelings paid well in the end.....kahit dati it felt like the end of the world.
Apr 1, 2005
my brother's room
Sleepless nights are back! Rushing the outline of 2 articles which will be discussed tonight...dapat nga 3 articles dahil may utang pa ako last meeting namin..hehe!
Anyways sideways been toiling over this for the past days and last Wednesday I studied at the living room. Ryan was trying to keep me company even if he was feeling so dizzy already. So I urged him to go to sleep and not wait for me anymore..then when I finally decided I had enough I went upstairs to our room and saw Ryan sound asleep and a note by the lamp of our bed saying:
"Hi mahal!See you tomorrow! Good night! I love you-->(smiley pa itong letter
"u")! Please hug me tight..."
Aawww that really really really melted my heart. I'm used to Ryan being so
sweet and all but receiving a simple but sweet nothings from him unexpectedly, eased
up my very tired brain. Of course I gave him that tight hug he's requesting (not that he needed to) + a grateful kiss which he did not know of anymore.
Then, last night, I had to type the outline so I used my brother's PC. I was in his room and I asked Ryan to link the laptop to it because I had a partial outline there already. After that, Ryan did not leave my side anymore..again hours later I told him to go ahead and sleep already. He did not transfer which was a big help because I had a feeling if he left me I won't finish any work having a very enticing bed by my side. Hehe...Around 12:00 AM I had no energy to think nor type I laid down beside Ryan and slept a little...since I was in a new environment di naman ako nahimbing sa pagtulog add to the fact that Ryan almost occupied the space of the bed (hehe!). I was up by 2:30 am..slept again and woke up around 4:30 to continue my work.
Over breakfast, Ryan & I shared the same opinion Reu's room was very comfy..even if it was smaller than our room since wala sya sa roadside -- hindi maingay at maalikabok! Plus yung sun pa not glaring sa face mo paggising..haay! Ryan & I both agreed that we want the room minus all my late grandfather's stuff cluttered in it. Habang wala si Reu (he's in Biñan) we're planning of sleeping there...hehe!As long as all the sheets are new! So tonight I will change it para dun kme matulog. We're just worried if we ask Reu for a trade he will agree only if we leave our TV set in the room. aba aba! The only thing that’s holding me back are the loads of stuff in my brother’s room. Something not visible sa room namin since we cleaned before the wedding for months!!Truck truck yata ng basura anag naitapon namin!Inclulding 3 old tv sets. I’m from a family of hoarders…lola ko fabrics (as in retaso ha!when she was alive she creates so many pretty things from it like jewelry boxes), lolo ko documents and clippings…grabe! Yun lng! Kaya as much as possible si “tapon na ito” girl ako…
Anyways sideways been toiling over this for the past days and last Wednesday I studied at the living room. Ryan was trying to keep me company even if he was feeling so dizzy already. So I urged him to go to sleep and not wait for me anymore..then when I finally decided I had enough I went upstairs to our room and saw Ryan sound asleep and a note by the lamp of our bed saying:
"Hi mahal!See you tomorrow! Good night! I love you-->(smiley pa itong letter
"u")! Please hug me tight..."
Aawww that really really really melted my heart. I'm used to Ryan being so
sweet and all but receiving a simple but sweet nothings from him unexpectedly, eased
up my very tired brain. Of course I gave him that tight hug he's requesting (not that he needed to) + a grateful kiss which he did not know of anymore.
Then, last night, I had to type the outline so I used my brother's PC. I was in his room and I asked Ryan to link the laptop to it because I had a partial outline there already. After that, Ryan did not leave my side anymore..again hours later I told him to go ahead and sleep already. He did not transfer which was a big help because I had a feeling if he left me I won't finish any work having a very enticing bed by my side. Hehe...Around 12:00 AM I had no energy to think nor type I laid down beside Ryan and slept a little...since I was in a new environment di naman ako nahimbing sa pagtulog add to the fact that Ryan almost occupied the space of the bed (hehe!). I was up by 2:30 am..slept again and woke up around 4:30 to continue my work.
Over breakfast, Ryan & I shared the same opinion Reu's room was very comfy..even if it was smaller than our room since wala sya sa roadside -- hindi maingay at maalikabok! Plus yung sun pa not glaring sa face mo paggising..haay! Ryan & I both agreed that we want the room minus all my late grandfather's stuff cluttered in it. Habang wala si Reu (he's in Biñan) we're planning of sleeping there...hehe!As long as all the sheets are new! So tonight I will change it para dun kme matulog. We're just worried if we ask Reu for a trade he will agree only if we leave our TV set in the room. aba aba! The only thing that’s holding me back are the loads of stuff in my brother’s room. Something not visible sa room namin since we cleaned before the wedding for months!!Truck truck yata ng basura anag naitapon namin!Inclulding 3 old tv sets. I’m from a family of hoarders…lola ko fabrics (as in retaso ha!when she was alive she creates so many pretty things from it like jewelry boxes), lolo ko documents and clippings…grabe! Yun lng! Kaya as much as possible si “tapon na ito” girl ako…
Mar 29, 2005
a little of everything
I had a great holy week! It was very relaxing and Ryan & I seemed to have renewed our faith. We especially enjoyed the bisita iglesia (a Catholic tradition of visiting 7 or 13 churches). We remember how we failed to do this last year because there was no public transportation available anymore that's why we prayed the rosary at Sacred Heart took a cab home and that's it. This time we planned the churches we will visit so maganda ang flow. We recited the way of the cross and divided it to the different churches we visited. We also thought that it would be nice to surrender all our problems to him and a good time to let God know how thankful we are for the blessings He countinously showers us. We started at Sta. Ana church the closest church to our house. Una nahihiya pa si Ryan pag nag-gegenoflect kasi nobody else is doing it pero wala syang choice genoflect pa din kme. He commented that the church was rather gloomy but I learned from my tita & an officemate that the altar of repose (which is very beautiful & uniquely decorated every year was at the garden & not inside the church..hehe!) Pagdating namin sa second church - Paco Manila I told him that our way of the cross is different from the stations in the church and I saw the prayer book na gamit ng iba, ours was really different...we searched for a religous store selling prayer books pero wala. When we reached Ermita church we saw a lady sellling a pamphlet of Way of the Cross so buy naman kme...aba iba pa din ang mga Way of the Cross ng Ermita...later on we figured na ang Ermita church lang ang kakaiba & of course our prayer book. Hehe...Intramuros was so full of life as in puno ng vendors ang sidewalk and San Agustin church was really really packed..you can practically smell the people surrounding you as you enter. Grand finale namin was Nuestra de Señora de Gracia (Guadalupe) this is where we got married and we were not disappointed...they had this "burn your petition thing" and wala akong masabi ang ganda ng ayos nila sa church. Syempre reminisce reminisce kme ni Ryan and may sense of belongingness...naks!
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Prior to our activity...I prepared taco's at home...merienda namin before we left. After the bisita iglesia, hinabol pa ni Ryan before 12 AM because he knows abstinence na ng Friday...hehe!
We were listening to the collection of homily of Fr. Bob of Greenbelt and tlga naman he's still has this effect on us feeling namin nagretreat kme at home.
We went home to Biñan on Saturday after my meeting with our client who's getting married on April at nag-shopping galore kme ng SM shoesesses (hehe!dami eh) cheap lng kse I wonder lng how long it will last....hmmm.
Nagpareflexologist din kme pagdating sa Biñan because I think I hurt myself sa paglalakad namin nung Thurs and because of this we weren't able to hear easter vigil mass. The next day na lng kme nagsimba...Same night I wasn't feeling well. I had slight fever already.
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I wouldn't want to show myself to all our neighbors and relatives (father side) kse naman the question of "ano may laman na ba?" (sabay turo sa tyan) is starting to bug me already. I told my mom nga na maglalagay na lng ako ng signage sa labas para di na ako paulit ulit sa mga tao. hmp!
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Pillows
Have you tried oishi pillows? Laging out of stock sa grocery noh? Kaya nung magka-stock sa Pure Gold panic buying ako...hehehe!I'm addicted to it..actually yung mga bagong labas nila ngayon mas konti na ang chocolate.
And more on pillows
Ryan wants to throw away our pillows kse we he came home late nung Sunday (he had to work & I had to sleep kse I really had fever na) I hugged him daw (in my deep slumber) then when I realized that there's a pillow in between us I retracted my arm and hugged the pillow instead...hehehe!
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Back to work on Tuesday
I had to spend another day at home to fully recover from my viral infection (a.k.a. tonsilitis) plus an extended vacation with nothing to worry will do me good..physically, emotionally & mentally.
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