There are good days and there are bad days but there are days that your heart is just over-flowing with gratefulness.
I am definitely having one of those days. I feel so alive because the first few months I was dragging myself day to day...even the culminating activity prior to migrating was torture. To be liberated from that feeling is WONDERFUL!!
Ryan started work. We are getting our daily rhythm but to top that all we are just find the right car to buy as he passed the driving test last week. Yesterday we got approved to rent an apartment (yes!it's like a job interview / plenty of reference checking). We can finally be on our own again. It's starting to be a little challenging staying at other people's house. Today at work I interviewed people for the first time in decades I guess (interviewing internal people in the company doesn't count much). I can make a difference in their lives as most of them are currently unemployed. I am loving my job. It's not heavy but it requires some brain power on my end. As long as I have that I feel energized. I am challenged to think and assess people at a professional level. It is so awesome!!My gosh felt like it was ages ago despite me having these feelings when I was a manager in my previous company. The girls seems to be coping somehow in the set-up...we are giving them more time. Thing is...life is not perfect right now but I sure can see the light at the end of this tunnel. I even started feeling the light on my face. I love it! All glory & praises to God.
Jun 9, 2016
Jun 4, 2016
Thank you Lord!
Glory and praises to God.
It was a tough 2.5 mos really. The bickering, self-doubt, anxiety, exhaustion all creeps up slowly or BAM! All at once but you know what everytime that I feel the lowest of low God sends someone on our path to enlighten us to remain faithful and be strong. In my last blog I was very down but after staying online an old acquaintance who is God's follower told me that he will pray for us and that to remain faithful to him. I never even told him a lot about our situation other than I met someone here who we both know and that we are still looking for a job. Then after talking to him hearing being reminded that God is always with us I was uplifted. Everytime I talk to a family member or close friend who would tell us that they are praying for us I feel so much better and gain energy for another day. Ryan & I also met this wonderful lady in OFE who believed we were doing the right moves and to stay strong. She was nice and gave sensible advice other than what we would hear spoken to us all the time and finally my manager. She believes in giving me a chance. Did you know I only had 1 interview over my 70+ application? I then got the job together with the support of my ex-bosses & ex-colleague for what I could just imagine was a raving reference feedback about me.
When we got the job offer we were worried about the child care but on the same day an advertisement opened up online and this wonderful lady turned out to be just on our neighborhood. Now the kids are receiving good care. We are now faced with a new hurdle which is finding our own place. Contrary to what we hope for we can't stay with our sponsors anymore. In face-value we can't save a lot anymore because we have to move out but deep down it's for the best actually. I can plan our meals better and the kids will be more comfortable not to tip toe around and be told "no" or "don't" or "cannot" all the time. Also as of today Ryan passed his driving test so one at a time we are building our life back.
Thank you Lord!
It was a tough 2.5 mos really. The bickering, self-doubt, anxiety, exhaustion all creeps up slowly or BAM! All at once but you know what everytime that I feel the lowest of low God sends someone on our path to enlighten us to remain faithful and be strong. In my last blog I was very down but after staying online an old acquaintance who is God's follower told me that he will pray for us and that to remain faithful to him. I never even told him a lot about our situation other than I met someone here who we both know and that we are still looking for a job. Then after talking to him hearing being reminded that God is always with us I was uplifted. Everytime I talk to a family member or close friend who would tell us that they are praying for us I feel so much better and gain energy for another day. Ryan & I also met this wonderful lady in OFE who believed we were doing the right moves and to stay strong. She was nice and gave sensible advice other than what we would hear spoken to us all the time and finally my manager. She believes in giving me a chance. Did you know I only had 1 interview over my 70+ application? I then got the job together with the support of my ex-bosses & ex-colleague for what I could just imagine was a raving reference feedback about me.
When we got the job offer we were worried about the child care but on the same day an advertisement opened up online and this wonderful lady turned out to be just on our neighborhood. Now the kids are receiving good care. We are now faced with a new hurdle which is finding our own place. Contrary to what we hope for we can't stay with our sponsors anymore. In face-value we can't save a lot anymore because we have to move out but deep down it's for the best actually. I can plan our meals better and the kids will be more comfortable not to tip toe around and be told "no" or "don't" or "cannot" all the time. Also as of today Ryan passed his driving test so one at a time we are building our life back.
Thank you Lord!
May 3, 2016
"THE ONE"
With the right amount of pressure a strong individual shines than break. Less pressure and we get complacent. Too much and we give up altogether.
As another unemployed day starts in my horizon I summon enough energy to type, edit, re-edit applications in the hope that this will be THE ONE. I know I am skipping through what I promised to be a chronological narration of our migration adventure but I am getting more and more impressed with my cover letters that I am beginning to think of making a career out of this. Hahaha.
I do pray to God though that hubby's job interviews bear the elusive fruit of a job offer soon to save me from insanity and you readers (imaginary I suppose) from useless rants from me.
As another unemployed day starts in my horizon I summon enough energy to type, edit, re-edit applications in the hope that this will be THE ONE. I know I am skipping through what I promised to be a chronological narration of our migration adventure but I am getting more and more impressed with my cover letters that I am beginning to think of making a career out of this. Hahaha.
I do pray to God though that hubby's job interviews bear the elusive fruit of a job offer soon to save me from insanity and you readers (imaginary I suppose) from useless rants from me.
Apr 30, 2016
Where am I?
In a whole new place and a whole new world. Figuratively and literally and it was cold when we arrived despite the layers of clothing it didn't seem to be enough. Finally with a few weeks of delay it started warming up and the kids love love love playing in the backyard.
It has been 1 month and a half since we arrived and left the life we knew. The months before that we both gruel-some, exhausting but exciting because we were going towards something different. It didn't scare me much as I should've been. M-I-G-R-A-T-I-N-G. What we did was not any different from what the geese do...which apparently was defined as ->> to move from areas of low or decreasing resources to areas of high or increasing resources. The two primary resources being sought are food and nesting locations. (Source https://www.allaboutbirds.org/the-basics-how-why-and-where-of-bird-migration/). Did we run low of resources? Well we didn't but we will not wait around not having the success that we have envisioned for our family. We will not sit around waiting until we miss the window of opportunity to give our children a better chance than what we have in Philippines and in Malaysia. The currency was surely depleting and I was and still am (I hope that doesn't change) sure of what we were doing.
A LOT of people think we were crazy and I thought that was because migration was something unusual for them. It's so common in the Philippines and even Malaysians migrate. 45 days after I think I am joining all our friends who told us we were crazy...lol. I am just so grateful that God had been with us every step of the way and that we are not in a dire situation but let me tell you the early stages of migration is E-X-C-R-U-C-I-A-T-I-N-G! Note "early" because I know God has plans for us in His time not ours and He always have. Before you make that major leap answer these:
1) Are you a professional with a good standing career that you built over the years?
2) You are used to the comfort and luxury of your life?
3) You are doing fine but wanted to improve but can't move in your company or country you are in?
YES YES & YES? Think more and really really deeply. I was repeatedly warned this will never be easy. Especially because of #1&2. In my next series of blog I will tell you more in detail about our life here when we arrived and our continuous journey. Migration is not for everyone. It's not for the faint of hear. It's not an escape and it may not necessarily be an economic resolution fit for all. Stay tuned
Jun 3, 2015
The Single Parent: The 5 Essential Life Skills Required
As I stepped in the elevator with a fellow mom who took her child to school, she immediately launched in a complain about how her child ALWAYS ALWAYS never finish his homework. She told me he's so distracted with TV and playing. Same dilemma I was in last night with Iaree but difference is on weekdays we have a no-TV rule at home. So I mentioned this to her as the ride was quick (we were at 3rd F). Then she admitted that this is what's difficult with an only child being raised by a single mom with no cousins even to play with. That took her quite a while to mention to me and she was at the point about to ride her car. She mentioned single family, single child...but the hardest part for her to tell a stranger was she was raising her child on her own.
Too bad she didn't know I can relate to her well as I am a daughter of a single mom. I have a single-mom child's perspective and I totally understand her. Being a single parent is nothing to be ashamed of. If not for the seemingly perfect and happy image of a complete family, they should be the ones celebrated and highly regarded. I am in a contented and fulfilled marriage raising 2 daughters yet there are days hubby & I raise our hands just exhausted of parenting. Most days we do benefit from taking turns and boosting each others patience but sometimes you just run out of it at the same time. Single parents don't have the luxury of a taking turns or check and balance that a two-parent household has yet they have to carry on and deal with they children just the same. If hubby and I once in a while miss having a me-time (individually) and date nights permission from our kids are more harder than asking permission from my granddad (btw with an earlier curfew)...tell that to the single parent who's bliss comes from an uninterrupted shower or meal.
Being a single parent is like having super powers! But before you reached that point of being a single parent (by choice or not) there are a few important life skills we all could benefit from.
1. HAVE AN OPINION. You can't just go along with what your parents, friends or partner's opinion is. While you are most likeable when you agree all the time, you are so lost when it's time to express your own especially when you're a parent. Children are fantastic negotiators and lawyers if you do not have a strong stand again something they can easily take you down.
2. CHERISH ALONE TIME. Being surrounded by people all the time is great. Having a life partner is wonderful but do you always have to check on their availability to do something you really want? Don't get used to always having someone around, while that is appreciated also learn how to cherish being alone. For instance, eating by yourself or watching a movie by yourself. These little acts of independence makes being a single parent easier to cope with because you won't always have your children with you by your side either. They will grow up and do stuff without you eventually. The sooner you accept that the easier it will be and trust me you wouldn't want them clinging to you all the time when they are an adult anyway. So gear yourself that being alone is ok and sometimes you just really have to.
3. BE APPRECIATIVE. For big things and small things I know na "walang forever" except God. So when people are there, things happen look at the bright side and appreciate something/someone. You never know when it ends, when it's gone but you had moments that you felt happy about it and that's something. Truth is, nothing always goes the way we want it to be but happiness is a choice and one way to achieve that by being appreciative. This may be hard when you are at those trying moments that nothing seems to be right for you but that doesn't stop you from appreciating it after the storm has passed and you're still standing. Maybe barely standing but still standing. Afterthat you deserve a pat in the back (or a bottle of champagne all to yourself, whatever works). If you practice this skill early on, it makes you a more stable person in times of crisis and single parents have a LOT of those. Lastly, what's not to appreciate if you have your child/children growing up with you. Sure its not easy but they are the most wonderful blessings God could EVER EVER give you.
4. LEARN FROM EVERYTHING & MOVE ON. I am a person who is big on learning. I appreciate things and learn from it as well. If you made a mistake(s) its about recognizing that, assessing the what-went-wrong & what-went-right scenario. Own it and move on. No, don't deflect or blame. It only fuels a grudge. The sooner you own what was your flaw and appreciate what you did right, the sooner you can correct and move on. No point beating yourself up. Single parents don't have the luxury of time to do that so focus your energy instead into learning from it and moving on.
5. HAVE COURAGE. The thing with "walang forever" even the bad stuff doesn't last forever. Have the courage to carry on and make difficult decisions. Have the courage to be happy and acknowledge your strengths. Have courage to admit what you did wrong. Most of all have the courage to reach out and ask for help from people around you. Being independent is a key to many things but if you are nearing breaking point what use of having an emotionally wrecked parent? I saw how my mom was great with seeking and accepting help. We never felt unloved because my mom's parents and siblings were always there. We grew up complete with my mom being both a mom and a dad at the same time or our titos, titas, lolo and lola playing that role for us.
Bottom line is we all need to develop independence, it's really the core skill anyone should have but don't be stubborn when you need help as long as don't fall into the pitfall of being too dependent on those giving you help you will just be fine.
And hey..chin up!My brother and I among many other children of single parents turned out fine. :) Single moms & single dads you inspire me everyday to be a better parent because if you can do it we have no excuse not to be able to.
Too bad she didn't know I can relate to her well as I am a daughter of a single mom. I have a single-mom child's perspective and I totally understand her. Being a single parent is nothing to be ashamed of. If not for the seemingly perfect and happy image of a complete family, they should be the ones celebrated and highly regarded. I am in a contented and fulfilled marriage raising 2 daughters yet there are days hubby & I raise our hands just exhausted of parenting. Most days we do benefit from taking turns and boosting each others patience but sometimes you just run out of it at the same time. Single parents don't have the luxury of a taking turns or check and balance that a two-parent household has yet they have to carry on and deal with they children just the same. If hubby and I once in a while miss having a me-time (individually) and date nights permission from our kids are more harder than asking permission from my granddad (btw with an earlier curfew)...tell that to the single parent who's bliss comes from an uninterrupted shower or meal.
Being a single parent is like having super powers! But before you reached that point of being a single parent (by choice or not) there are a few important life skills we all could benefit from.
1. HAVE AN OPINION. You can't just go along with what your parents, friends or partner's opinion is. While you are most likeable when you agree all the time, you are so lost when it's time to express your own especially when you're a parent. Children are fantastic negotiators and lawyers if you do not have a strong stand again something they can easily take you down.
2. CHERISH ALONE TIME. Being surrounded by people all the time is great. Having a life partner is wonderful but do you always have to check on their availability to do something you really want? Don't get used to always having someone around, while that is appreciated also learn how to cherish being alone. For instance, eating by yourself or watching a movie by yourself. These little acts of independence makes being a single parent easier to cope with because you won't always have your children with you by your side either. They will grow up and do stuff without you eventually. The sooner you accept that the easier it will be and trust me you wouldn't want them clinging to you all the time when they are an adult anyway. So gear yourself that being alone is ok and sometimes you just really have to.
3. BE APPRECIATIVE. For big things and small things I know na "walang forever" except God. So when people are there, things happen look at the bright side and appreciate something/someone. You never know when it ends, when it's gone but you had moments that you felt happy about it and that's something. Truth is, nothing always goes the way we want it to be but happiness is a choice and one way to achieve that by being appreciative. This may be hard when you are at those trying moments that nothing seems to be right for you but that doesn't stop you from appreciating it after the storm has passed and you're still standing. Maybe barely standing but still standing. Afterthat you deserve a pat in the back (or a bottle of champagne all to yourself, whatever works). If you practice this skill early on, it makes you a more stable person in times of crisis and single parents have a LOT of those. Lastly, what's not to appreciate if you have your child/children growing up with you. Sure its not easy but they are the most wonderful blessings God could EVER EVER give you.
4. LEARN FROM EVERYTHING & MOVE ON. I am a person who is big on learning. I appreciate things and learn from it as well. If you made a mistake(s) its about recognizing that, assessing the what-went-wrong & what-went-right scenario. Own it and move on. No, don't deflect or blame. It only fuels a grudge. The sooner you own what was your flaw and appreciate what you did right, the sooner you can correct and move on. No point beating yourself up. Single parents don't have the luxury of time to do that so focus your energy instead into learning from it and moving on.
5. HAVE COURAGE. The thing with "walang forever" even the bad stuff doesn't last forever. Have the courage to carry on and make difficult decisions. Have the courage to be happy and acknowledge your strengths. Have courage to admit what you did wrong. Most of all have the courage to reach out and ask for help from people around you. Being independent is a key to many things but if you are nearing breaking point what use of having an emotionally wrecked parent? I saw how my mom was great with seeking and accepting help. We never felt unloved because my mom's parents and siblings were always there. We grew up complete with my mom being both a mom and a dad at the same time or our titos, titas, lolo and lola playing that role for us.
Bottom line is we all need to develop independence, it's really the core skill anyone should have but don't be stubborn when you need help as long as don't fall into the pitfall of being too dependent on those giving you help you will just be fine.
And hey..chin up!My brother and I among many other children of single parents turned out fine. :) Single moms & single dads you inspire me everyday to be a better parent because if you can do it we have no excuse not to be able to.
Dec 8, 2011
School hunt
And so my mommy life is full of hunt...yaya hunt, good food hunt, bargain hunt..and one of the biggest yet is our school hunt.
I'm telling you being in a foreign country is challenging especially if their educational system is not supportive of using the English language. I don't get it especially for Math & Science because I believe that at the minimum is universal so a person can easily adapt when these 2 subjects are in English. My friends are asking me how it is in the Philippines and I told them school's medium is in English. So you don't necessarily have to send your kids so fancy and big league primary school to ensure they have the good foundation.
Anyway my hunt so far has led me to this:
1. We are targeting to send her to a private school. However, most private schools are shifting their curriculum to International Curriculum with "international school fees" of course and you cannot simply move around your kid as it can either be a British, Australian or American curriculum and each would be so different from each other. Ryan & I can't believe why we have to send Iaree to an overly expensive school at this stage whereas kids would be expected to be studying the same foundation. Some would argue that the quality would be there but I tell you I have been sent to a private school - Primary & Secondary and 2 things I can tell you. a) It was a big environment adjustment for me to be sent to a public University, one that paid off but was still a big shift nonetheless b)I was always in the top 25% of the batch population but I have seen so far 5 batch mates belonging to the lower percentage who are now doctors and great entrepreneurs. The primary & secondary education despite the "label" they had didn't stop them from succeeding in life.
2. Back-up plan is not to move the whole family back the Phils (at least not yet). Chinese school or local Malaysian school maybe if they will accept foreigners. I'm just having hesitation on the educational style in Chinese schools especially on the homework and writing part. The language part I'm perfectly okay with it but to torture kids with tons and tons of homework and repeated writing activity which the writing part I asked my Chinese educated friends they never used anyway. Now the local Malaysian school I have yet to find out if they would accept us. Maybe if that's the last resort I will just get language tutor for Iaree. Feel sad about that part though as she can't even speak Tagalog and here she would learn to speak BM.
Oh well!Wish us luck it's 2 years away and I'm glad I have already started doing my research.
Dec 6, 2011
My guilty pleasure
My guilty pleasure that is not shopping or food related (just thought I should make that clear first) is to be complimented sincerely -- "Wow you are a mom??!" "You really have 2 kids?" "You just gave birth?" and to get the same compliment 3x in the same day is wow I must really be looking good today. Hahahaha..I'm so vain!
I told Ryan when we were only married for a few years my personal goal is to look like a hip young mom. Alright of course I will not always be young but I really want to look cool and act my age nicely. Just like lola...she was sooo elegantly beautiful. Let us not forget that if I don't dress up nicely and I am with Iaree in expensive play areas other Filipino maids approaches me to ask "Alaga mo?" (in english, is that the kid you take care of?) or..."Chinese amo mo?" (seeing my daughter looking like Chinese they would assume that I work for Chinese family and taking care of this pretty Chinese girl) hahaha...So I hope you would pardon me for my guilty pleasure for looking good once in a while and basking on the compliments.
Oh and a new addition the the list -- Ryan and I attended his colleague's wedding. An office mate who didn't make it saw our photos and was teasing Ryan "Hey who's that babe you were with on Choo's wedding? Does your wife know about this?" It didn't register to him immediately that it was actually his wife his office mate was referring to. LOL!
So there...I don't care I'm guilty as charged for vanity! Hahaha.
Nov 24, 2011
The Ipad2 reward system
There's no turning back our 4 yr old daughter is a gadget junkie. With kids nowadays who isn't?
It all started when this little 6 month old baby witness her mom & dad working from home...she had her own portable DVD for travel purposes then so on & so forth. With the Ipad2 we decided to make it a bit different and let her use it when she behaved well during the day. Strictly imposed no use rule if she misbehaved. So far it seems to be working for her so aside from the educational benefits - we try to make her read more complicated words beyond the CVC method & entertainment purpose it brings - she loooves playing games related to cooking & dressing up it helps that we get to use it to discipline her.
It all started when this little 6 month old baby witness her mom & dad working from home...she had her own portable DVD for travel purposes then so on & so forth. With the Ipad2 we decided to make it a bit different and let her use it when she behaved well during the day. Strictly imposed no use rule if she misbehaved. So far it seems to be working for her so aside from the educational benefits - we try to make her read more complicated words beyond the CVC method & entertainment purpose it brings - she loooves playing games related to cooking & dressing up it helps that we get to use it to discipline her.
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