Uwian na!!!

It has only been 3 mos yet I'm so excited to go back home!!

Ryan and I came up with a list of things to eat and take home with us:
MUST eat:
- tinapa, itlog na maalat
- binagoongang baboy & mangga
- longanissa
- Yellow cab
- tapa king
- kare-kare with bagoong
- crispy pata
- bacon
- hotdog
- chicharon bulaklak (Pampanga)
- Fishballs & Squidballs
- balot
- relyenong bangus

and the list gets longer as if we only came back to eat. Hehehe!I'm so excited!

I'm sure our bags will be packed again just like the first time. Good thing the attendants of Malaysian Airlines were kind enough to allow the overweight. What an overweight it was before.

This time I'm meeting again one group of friends only. Have only one body to do so and only 5 days to accomplish what we will come back for. I never knew one can miss his own country this much when he/she becomes an OFW. Good thing about our set up is Ryan & I are together so no dealing the usual long distance relationship stuff. Still I miss the food and my usual activities that I can't wait to go home into the arms of my excited family & friends!!!And all the food the used to comfort me of course!

What am I doing?

At the office today and I'm engrossed with my e-book Confessions of a Shopaholic. Obviously blogging now, not really doing anything productive so it seems.

I am at a point where I don't want to admit frustration..more appropriately it's confusion and the floating feeling of not having a sense of direction in what I am doing. I don't let my thoughts wander far into that.

No wonder weekends at home are boring me.

There's a five day vacation in the Philippines I am looking forward to but the problems with vacations is the feeling why it has to end so soon. Arrrggghh! Ignore the gloomy gal I've become. Must be the pregnancy hormones doing this. Hahaha!

Di na nakakatuwa

Grrrr tlga!Grrr grrr grrr!!!

Although I have complaints about my new job which is so mababaw and seems to be part of the job, I have prepared myself working with people who has a different culture naturally. Having better hopes with my kababayans instead.

Unfortunately not the case. People here whether from India, or locally here in Malaysia have been very nice and easy to work with. Of course not minding a few communication gap once in a while (again very acceptable di ba?). It is so disappointing na kung sino pa yung mataas expectations ko sila pa ang hindi makaintindi. Nagtitimpi na lng ako na sigawan ang mga taong concerned ng isang malaking BOBO!!TANGA!! Considering that working as an HR for more than 5 years has extended my patience and tolerance for people in the workplace who are so narrow minded. At talagang di ako pumapatol sa bading na papansin at hindi makapag-English!actually tinagalog na di pa din makaintindi.

Di ko alam san pa huhugutin ang pasensya. Ang hirap kseng patulan ng tao na stupidity lang ang problema. As in hindi marunong magbasa ng email..sorry but the email HAD TO BE IN ENGLISH! Because the management here was put in cc alangan naman itagalog ko para lang maintindihan ng isang..hmmp ewan!!

Grrr tlga. This is the last time I'm wasting my time for this type of person gusto ko lng tlga maglabas ng sama ng loob. Kse alangan naman i-share ko sa officemates ko dito eh so far peace loving naman sila. Sabihin nila I can't handle my own kababayan...which is actually true. Haaay kakalungkot!

Today's OB visit

It's been two weeks since I last saw my OB and the baby under the ultrasound. As of yesterday baby is officially 4 mos. old inside me. He/she is now bigger and fuller. The toes and hands were clearer. Even the head showed more distinct figures of the lips and eyes. The baby was so calm..after he waved at Ryan (as Ryan claims). The tiny cute heart was beating. Sometimes I can already feel his movements at night when he's usually active.

I went back today since my doctor insisted on getting my blood for some tests. I hope it goes well considering that I lost weight! When I was not pregnant I tried hard to lose weight..oops make that wished hard I can lose weight. Now I'm losing weight when I should be gaining it already.

Morning sickness is over and what a relief it is. Unfortunately my tooth filing got removed and chewing became so painful. Hence we suspect this for my weight loss. My OB recommends immediate help from the dentist. Given my condition I don't want any dentist hello! I want Dokee! I was thinking of sending her over but it will be so difficult for her alangan naman maghanap kme ng mahihiraman nya ng clinic dito. I wanted to go home but hesitating since work schedule is sooo tight!! Ang daming requirements and napaka-untimely not to mention bago lng ako dito magpaalam ng 2 days leave. Nakapag sick leave na nga ako eh. Tapos late na late na late pa ako kanina pumasok dahil sa check-up ko...11:30 na ako dumating..hehehe ang kapal noh?! So the chances are so slim na payagan ako..

Minsan tlga nakakamiss ang buhay sa Pinas na may househelp. Kse kakatamad magluto pag sobrang pagod sa work at sobrang sakit sa ipin. Dati kse nakaready na ang lulutuin ko...at pagkatimpla may taga-bantay pa. Patikim tikim na lng. May taga-hugas pa ng mga ginamit ko...hahaha!At pag tlgang nakakatamad may BBQ kay Aling Rose na sure na malinis at fresh. Sana wag mabasa ni Ryan ito kse baka i-deport nya ako sa Pinas kaka-homesick ko lalo na sa mga food. Sana din may milagro bigla na pwede akong mag-absent dito kahit 2 days lng para makakain ng hotdog, tocino, ginataang halo-halo, lechon; makapagpa-manicure, pedicure & hotoil sa suking parlor; makanood ng mga teleserye, tagalog movie, magshopping sa SM...este para pala mapagawa ko na itong ipin ko.

Baby's KL Experience

Now that it has been a month since we've settled with our new jobs and new life here in KL I'm glad to be back to blogging. Of course only as often as my work load would allow me.

I immediately saw a doctor (or at least the soonest I can, considering that I had to work for my first weekend and the company outing the next). It was no contest in choosing my new OB-Gynecologist, there were only a few of them holding a clinic on Saturdays on a nearby hospital where we got our place and since this is my first we'd be more comfortable with a female doctor. She was the only female doctor who holds a clinic on Saturdays.

I've been hearing plenty of good feedbacks about the hospital too such as it's the best maternity hospital here in KL. We were not disappointed it was first class even better facilities than Makati Med. Hehehe. Equipments and rooms are all new. So the package for giving birth of around P50,000 normal delivery here is worth it. It already includes my doctors PF according to the hospital. Pricey I know but we feel confident that it will all be worth it for this hospital. =)

As for my doctor, medyo mashunda na sya..hehe. Ang kaba ba naman ni Ryan baka daw matigok bago ako manganak...don't mind him OA lng yun. Indian sya so halos lahat ng pasyente ganun din. Pagpasok namin sa clinic nya grabe!Parang walang naligo sa kanila..wahh!My biggest worry na sabi ko kay Ryan pag ganyan din ang simoy ng hangin ng doctor ayoko na. Buti naman hindi tska mabait naman. Our visit to her was also the first time we saw our baby via ultra sound. Here's the picture:



I never thought it will be such an overwhelming experience! At first the monitor was aly facing Ryan and I wanted to get up and pull the monitor because he was getting all excited and the OB was telling him these are the hands, the arms, the eyes and he was ecstatic because the baby was so active and kept on moving! Until finally I got my turn. Indeed the baby was so malikot...naku nasa tyan pa lng ang likot na! He kept on moving. Ryan told me when they were looking at the baby he turned away from them. But I never thought the experience of actually seeing a proof that indeed a life is forming inside me would be this much! Ryan insisted on coming back or even buying our own ultrasound. Di tlga excited ang daddy to be!Hehehe.

Aside from the frequent throwing up my pregnancy is just fine. Ryan gets to do a lot of house work especially when my morning sickness strikes me at night. Good thing he doesn't complain..(yet!I hope). I guess as long as he's expecting the baby I can make him do whatever I want..except for allowing me to eat potato chips etc. Nyahaha!Not that I'm abusing him or anything ha!hehehe...

By the way thank you all for your well wishes! Sorry but the time we found out we were so busy packing our things going here that I didn't get to thank you all. Especially the surprising visitors who sent me text messages after reading my blog (hehe may nagbabasa pala nito). I didn't even had the chance to say goodbye because we were so busy. After a months time I would say that we're more or less settled and finding our way around here.

If you're linked to my multiply account I usually update it with our recent pictures here in KL so just check it out once in a while. =) Til next time!

First sign

It was Saturday morning and we were scheduled to go home to Pampanga to visit Ryan's family. When I woke up I feel lazier than ever and nauseous that I want to throw-up. Fortunately I did not. I had a strange feeling already and even asked Ryan that I wanted papaya for breakfast. It was almost noon when we left and so as not to take too much time we just ordered a pizza for take-out. I slept most of the way in bus and never felt dizzy (I rarely have motion sickness). When we got of the bus however it was a different story. The world swirled around me and I reached out for the plastic bag Ryan was holding and threw-up. Dinner I hardly ate. Breakfast I felt sick at the sight of pork fat in the afritada and ended up just eating 1 piece of pandesal.

On the way home I was getting nauseous again. So when we got off MRT we decided to pass by Rockwell to have lunch. I wanted to eat nilagang baka so we ate at Dencio's. However I did not enjoy it so I finished only half of my rice. Mwahaha!Ako ba ito? It was only 2:30 pm when we got home so we thought we will sleep first before hearing mass. After the 7:00 PM mass there I was again...very very nauseous and throwing up like forever. I insisted that Ryan buys a pregnancy kit. We were supposed to buy one after the mass but we left our wallets and brought only enough money. While Ryan was out I was sprawled at our bathroom floor feeling weak already from another bout of throwing up. I got up to do the test...

One line appeared...

Then another...



Not conscious of the result Ryan told me "diba pag dalawa yung line positive?" We checked the box to make sure. Indeed a double line means I'm positively pregnant! =D Yey! We read it again and analyzed it pa...but you know I had this feeling since Saturday. A feeling different than just being delayed of my period. We were hugging each other so happy and excited! Suddenly all my dizziness vanished. What worries us was if I'm not pregnant then what was happening to me. Food poison or an allergy, fortunately it was nothing to worry about.

Finally the answer to the relentless questions we've been hearing since we got married. "wala pa ba?" some mean statements pa like -- "wala ang hina naman ni Ryan!" I just haven't complained in this blog but it's a classic annoyance to any newlyweds. But that's another entirely different blog entry. For now we are celebrating so many things and just looking forward to the following days to come!

Tamang pagka-miss

May mga tao na di pa umaalis at nandyan pa lagi sa tabi mo pero miss na miss mo na
...siguro dahil alam mo ilang araw na lang at mawawalay na sya sa iyo

May mga tao na dapat sana namimiss mo pero di bale na lng
...siguro dahil nasaktan ka masyado, di mo inaasahan, di mo maintindihan pa'no kayo naging ganito ngayon

May mga tao na di mo alam na namiss mo kung di pa kayo ulit nagkasama
...siguro madami kang pinagwalang bahala sa relasyon ninyo noon

May mga tao na pwede mo na lng ma-miss
...dahil alam mong sa isip at panaginip mo na lang sila makakasama

Pero ano pa man klase ng pagka-miss alam mo at alam ko na ang mga nakakamiss lang ay ang mga tao na importante sa atin. Kasama mo man sya ngayon. Inasahan mong kasama hanggang ngayon. Di mo na madalas makasama. Di na muling makakasama.

Sana lang importante ka din sa kanila. Sana lang ganun din ang nararamdaman nila.

Ngunit higit sa lahat hindi man kayo pareho ng naiisip o nararamdaman...sana lng alam nila na ganyan sila kahalaga.

Guilt feelings

Have you ever noticed how Filipinos have difficulty saying NO even for their own sake? Not to mention how we feel guilty even if there is nothing to be guilty of after saying NO.

I for one am a victim of not being able to say no. I only realized this recently or rather my Indian classmate in DLSU who's a priest called my attention about it and my other classmates came in to my defense saying it's a gender and cultural thing, it wasn't personal (coz he was starting to get angry that I didn't simply say no to his request and I had to go around explaining it instead). I swear super sama tlga ng loob nya sa akin but he texted me naman the following day to say that he's sorry for the way he reacted blah blah blah. Initially my defense was...okay I forgot what it was because later on that day I realized his point that I should've just clearly said NO. I just had to stress it that it wasn't really personal or anything, it was a natural response that any of us in the group would have said the same thing.

Today, I'm feeling the second one after saying no to a big favor. It involves money kasi and I am prone for trusting people with plenty of money yet suffer in the end. Sobrang suffering umabot pa sa NBI yung isang case ko ng pagtrust...pero di ko lng na-follow through with the court hearings so wala din..gone with the wind din ang drama naming mga victims. Even if I had all the point and the reason in the world to say no why the hell do I feel so bad? Is it my upbringing or is it a cultural phenomenon? I also met several people who have difficulty naman collecting payment from the person who borrowed money, even to some point na sila na yung gipit na gipit nahihiya pa din silang maningil. Nagawa na nila lahat ng pakulo at drama except for approaching the person directly and collect the payment. This is something I'm not guilty of naman kse I rarely have the chance to...hahaha! Either the person disappeared or madami din kami na-victim so kahit anong bitin naming patiwarik sa tao eh wala din. Anyway I like Weng's advise for now the best I could do is pray for that person that he finds other means especially after I turned him down. I guess what makes it more difficult for me is that I know how it feels.