The Wonder Woman

School hunt

2011-12-08T15:25:00.001+08:00

And so my mommy life is full of hunt...yaya hunt, good food hunt, bargain hunt..and one of the biggest yet is our school hunt. I'm telling you being in a foreign country is challenging especially if their educational system is not supportive of using the English language. I don't get it especially for Math & Science because I believe that at the minimum is universal so a person can easily adapt when these 2 subjects are in English. My friends are asking me how it is in the Philippines and I told them school's medium is in English. So you don't necessarily have to send your kids so fancy and big league primary school to ensure they have the good foundation.Anyway my hunt so far has led me to this:1. We are targeting to send her to a private school. However, most private schools are shifting their curriculum to International Curriculum with "international school fees" of course and you cannot simply move around your kid as it can either be a British, Australian or American curriculum and each would be so different from each other. Ryan & I can't believe why we have to send Iaree to an overly expensive school at this stage whereas kids would be expected to be studying the same foundation. Some would argue that the quality would be there but I tell you I have been sent to a private school - Primary & Secondary and 2 things I can tell you. a) It was a big environment adjustment for me to be sent to a public University, one that paid off but was still a big shift nonetheless b)I was always in the top 25% of the batch population but I have seen so far 5 batch mates belonging to the lower percentage who are now doctors and great entrepreneurs. The primary & secondary education despite the "label" they had didn't stop them from succeeding in life.2. Back-up plan is not to move the whole family back the Phils (at least not yet). Chinese school or local Malaysian school maybe if they will accept foreigners. I'm just having hesitation on the educational style in Chinese schools especially on the homework and writing part. The language part I'm perfectly okay with it but to torture kids with tons and tons of homework and repeated writing activity which the writing part I asked my Chinese educated friends they never used anyway. Now the local Malaysian school I have yet to find out if they would accept us. Maybe if that's the last resort I will just get language tutor for Iaree. Feel sad about that part though as she can't even speak Tagalog and here she would learn to speak BM. Oh well!Wish us luck it's 2 years away and I'm glad I have already started doing my research.

My guilty pleasure

2011-12-06T15:13:00.000+08:00

My guilty pleasure that is not shopping or food related (just thought I should make that clear first) is to be complimented sincerely -- "Wow you are a mom??!" "You really have 2 kids?" "You just gave birth?" and to get the same compliment 3x in the same day is wow I must really be looking good today. Hahahaha..I'm so vain!I told Ryan when we were only married for a few years my personal goal is to look like a hip young mom. Alright of course I will not always be young but I really want to look cool and act my age nicely. Just like lola...she was sooo elegantly beautiful. Let us not forget that if I don't dress up nicely and I am with Iaree in expensive play areas other Filipino maids approaches me to ask "Alaga mo?" (in english, is that the kid you take care of?) or..."Chinese amo mo?" (seeing my daughter looking like Chinese they would assume that I work for Chinese family and taking care of this pretty Chinese girl) hahaha...So I hope you would pardon me for my guilty pleasure for looking good once in a while and basking on the compliments.Oh and a new addition the the list -- Ryan and I attended his colleague's wedding. An office mate who didn't make it saw our photos and was teasing Ryan "Hey who's that babe you were with on Choo's wedding? Does your wife know about this?" It didn't register to him immediately that it was actually his wife his office mate was referring to. LOL!So there...I don't care I'm guilty as charged for vanity! Hahaha.

The Ipad2 reward system

2011-11-24T22:59:00.003+08:00

There's no turning back our 4 yr old daughter is a gadget junkie. With kids nowadays who isn't?
It all started when this little 6 month old baby witness her mom & dad working from home...she had her own portable DVD for travel purposes then so on & so forth. With the Ipad2 we decided to make it a bit different and let her use it when she behaved well during the day. Strictly imposed no use rule if she misbehaved. So far it seems to be working for her so aside from the educational benefits - we try to make her read more complicated words beyond the CVC method & entertainment purpose it brings - she loooves playing games related to cooking & dressing up it helps that we get to use it to discipline her.

Back to work - New Role! New Life!

2011-09-08T14:42:00.003+08:00

If there is one thing I know I am good at that is studying.
I love a lot of things in learning new stuff, being creative and having the chance to express yourself. Well I am hopeful this is what this new role will bring me.

Buh-bye overly dramatic and stressful recruitment delivery work!
Hello to my unrealized dream career!

Way back when I started in HR there are 2 things I absolutely love -
1) Recruitment: for giving me a chance to find that perfect match (company & new employee), being able to network, learning a lot from people (both my hiring managers & candidates)
2) Training: the positive energy it brings, the things I learn and again the networking

To focus on recruitment was an obvious choice and easy path however the mundane unnecessary issues I was facing (before I went for maternity leave) coupled with lack of incentive for me sucked the joy out of my love for it. I never had much opportunity in training and on the 3rd year of my progressing career in the Phil I was told that I have to start from the bottom again to shift to this path. So I took my masters instead hoping one day I will be able to either teach or move to clinical psychology. My life obviously had different twists and turns back then but now is my chance to start over and pursue it this time. I know later the work load will increase but as long as the passion and the joy of the job is there then no work will ever be that terrible you'd want to spit it out of your system.

So here's to my new path!New life having 2 kids this time and hopefully hopefully on a personal aspect...lesser stress at home courtesy of my mom and her incessant nagging of our maid.Wish me luck!

GIFT

2011-07-15T13:42:00.001+08:00

Birthing gift, anniversary gift, Christmas Gift, 2012 Birthday Gift, Valentines Gift all in one courtesy of Mr. Ryan.

Baby Liezl - my second pregnancy story (Part 1)

2011-06-28T11:27:00.006+08:00

We've been wanting to have a second baby so the age gap of Iaree and her sibling will be just right. We wanted Iaree to be big enough to be independent and understand things. Financially speaking we were really aiming for the regularization from my company as it was promised to me a year back(this is for better maternity coverage) however there seemed to be no clarity on this so we gave it a go.

We got the good news that I am expecting November 2010! It was such a delight for all of us and Iaree was the 1st we told..she was so excited she thought the baby will come out instantly from the time we told her. From then on she learned about the word "ATE" and refused to be the "baby Iaree" we fondly call her. She became very protective of me & my tummy. Always volunteering to take care of me when I am throwing up or simply not feeling well. We can't be more proud of her really. This made me & Ryan all the more excited with our new addition.

The pregnancy was a bit tougher I threw up more often and can't take food as much as when I was pregnant with Iaree. I had to avoid a lot of fruits..unlike with Iaree I can take almost anything. Then in the middle I also got soooo sick that I had to take antibiotics. I never had to with Iaree so I was soo scared. With a toddler in tow, a hectic job & feelings like this it was a whole new experience for me that wasn't so welcoming I was starting to think did I age that much to be pregnant again?

Completed the 5th month and the "morning sickness" came less to a point I thought it was gone. But I spoke too soon..I did have it less often but up to the 7th month I was still throwing up and having nauseous bouts.

Imagine my delight for food after the 7th month not to mention the work stress level kept on increasing...with no career progression or regularization in sight. I always had food on my table and I eat desserts like crazy after lunch breaks. Hahahaha. Just between my 34-36 week of pregnancy I gained about 3-4 KG and Baby Liezl from 2.8 something became 3.1!!!!So doctor said..okay baby's ready to come out anytime..hahahaa. I was put on diet just to be sure. First week of diet, weight maintained but the baby still gained. Second & 3rd week of diet I was losing weight the baby's was constant. Or so we thought...then contractions I had...

I think I started having contractions 35th week. I read somewhere it can be stress contractions too. Must be due to work. Hmp! We have sent mixed signals to our bosses especially for Ryan who is working in the faraway land of Cyberjaya where it's not practical to bring the car everyday. He's at the mercy of the bus schedule so he had to inform his boss every time there's a possibility of me delivering. People were always waiting for baby to come out that after a few weeks the questions that Ryan & I are both getting were - "you're still here?" or "baby is not out yet?" because despite the early warnings signs the baby just felt cozy inside my tummy and stayed on. And Ryan really made me diet and walk ok. We park at the other side of 1 Utama mall and my office is at the other far end (for my friends in the Phil - imagine Greenbelt 5 to SM). He used to pick me up at the lobby of our office but not this time.

There was this Friday on my 37-38 week of pregnancy that we really thought this is it. The contractions were 10 mins apart and very very painful. We decided to go to the hospital but in the car the contractions were gone. Ryan said just try to walk it out in the hospital. But even after an hour of walking around the contractions didn't return as painful or as frequent. Besides if I do deliver that night I am so tired from all the walking.

Stay tuned for Part 2 of the story. Birthing time!

The "list"

2011-02-14T17:06:00.005+08:00

As teenagers, we would come up with an ideal picture of a future boyfriend/girlfriend and maybe eventually a spouse. Inspired with the celebrity crushes and for my case the heroes in the romance novels that I was reading. Some experts say we even start this earlier in childhood where all the fairy tales have a "and they lived happily ever ever" ending.

The "list" or criteria never changed for me over the time as I grew up. Typical handsome, intelligent, nice and well-to-do guy. Some of my friend's list even tend to be more specific and longer...hehehe. But there were also times that I was so blinded when I meet someone that I don't even bother with the criteria or lists. Just with the feeling it gives me to have that "shower of attention". In retrospect after crying a bucket of tears too) "ooohhh we didn't even have a proper intelligent conversation or we don't even like the same things, etc".

So while some "settle" and some stick to the list doesn't all the time translate to finding "the one". It's not exactly something that predicts success rate in marriage either. I just got into this chain of thought because of the arranged marriage that some cultures still adhere to and some people have to suffer to comply to the rules of society.

Proud to say though, as hubby and I both agree, with God's will we really met each other at the right time and place. Had it been otherwise we don't think we'd hit it off. Which will be too bad because he had so many qualities that were not even on my "imaginary list". (no I really don't have one my close friends can confirm that) I am lucky to be blessed to be offered with more than I can expect - good & bad (hehe just kiddin' sweetie). So for my partner in life, bestfriend and guy who scraps the whole list thing...Thank God I found you.HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!

Fun birthday!2011

2011-01-31T15:30:00.002+08:00

It was a fun and relaxing birthday.
Hubby & I filed for a leave and the whole family went to Genting Highlands. This time around we stayed overnight. It was sooooo cold and as usual Iaree enjoyed the rides. It's nice to visit the place on a weekday when the queue is not so long so you do not get bored of waiting until the excitement simply dies. In just a few hours we have completed all the indoor rides. :)
Lovely weather except that such weather means the outdoor theme park is closed. I was not aware the location of our hotel was beside the closed outdoor theme park where it's sooo cold & chilly for you to reach the hotel itself. Brrr...

The next day, my mom had a few tantrums which was hard to figure out what she wants at first and making me feel she doesn't want to be there. In the end I think whatever she does she just don't want to do it alone (even if it means with my daughter). At first so she wont be bored we told her we'll buy tickets for her so she can go ride with Iaree though she agreed she wasn't too happy about going and was having high pitched irritated tone in her voice when asking questions so ok maybe she wants to go around I thought and doesn't want to be stuck with Iaree. When we let Iaree go for the rides herself (minus the ones she need companion) Ryan & I were watching over her so did mama then I thought she wanted to go around so I told her we'll watch over Iaree and she go where she wants. But no she also stuck around not sitting unless we sit or not checking out stores unless I do. Oh well minor glitch and normal mama tantrum.

We were supposed to stay for another night but with our situation that only Iaree is having activities and we are all watching her doesn't look like something else to do on a 3rd day. So we just thought we'll reserve that for later maybe when we have guests or we are so bored or feeling hot at home. We only drove by the way because a lot of bus drivers were on leave and the bus schedule is so limited. It wasn't so bad (hahaha says the passenger) I mean the travel took about an hour or less although cost wise with the petrol, toll fees & cable car return tickets it's more cost efficient to take the bus (which is at RM 9.60 / per person / way) cable car cost (RM 5 / per person / way) so go figure.

After lunch Iaree was so tired we decided to head back home. Since I can't cook a meal once we got home (all food are still frozen - very good excuse to dine out) we headed off to Betty's Midwest kitchen for an all-american dinner which we really enjoyed. We had a great family time :)

Down side Sunday I was having fever and was throwing up. If my manager's/client will not be on long leaves starting Tuesday I will not force myself to come to work today.

Iaree's surprising little ways

2011-01-21T10:55:00.002+08:00

I have always been moved that at the peak of my "morning-noon & night sickness" Iaree is such a caring little girl. Every time she sees that I am not feeling well she will stay beside me and say "Mommy I will take care of you and the baby". There was a time I called at home and when I spoke to her she immediately said "Mommy are you feeling better now?".

Yesterday I was just being lazy to open up her still unpacked toys (from our move) and she wants me to open it. So I told her we need to clean up first then I left her...waah few minutes later she was calling out to me "Mommy I already cleaned up!" And cleaned up she did, there were no toys on the floor and the toys are properly put back to where they belong if there's enough space. So this weekend I hope to buy more cabinets for her other displaced toys so she can arrange it accordingly and so we can easily classify the baby safe toys from not and keep them for a while when the baby starts crawling and eating everything.

She had been sleeping with lola for 2 days now because daddy is so sick. Daddy was supposed to sleep out of the room but because we are night-time potty training Iaree difficult for me to carry her briskly to the toilet in the mid hours of the night. It's actually daddy & mommy having separation anxiety on this. The 1st night I keep waking up and hearing daddy's horrible coughing I decided against getting her from lola's room. So I resorted to hugging the pooh stuff toy :(. Then last night Ryan was protesting against letting her sleep with lola again whereas Iaree nicely said good night to us without any qualms.

Iaree is indeed growing up fast but we are proud parents of a smart, caring, sweet & sensitive girl who just have the right amount of stubbornness and kakulitan right for her age.

Lazy

2011-01-18T17:49:00.002+08:00

Feeling so lazy lately...can I blame the hormones for this?
Hahahaha.
So many pending for our personal stuff: Iaree's transport services, the yaya/helper, insurance applications...
Even feeling lazy to plan a trip for my birthday.

Yaya hunt..errr..bringing yaya over to Malaysia

2011-01-17T18:22:00.002+08:00

Well although the advantage for us is we have quite a few number of applicants eager to work abroad buttttttt the POEA requirement is a torture!!!

When we came here in 2006 expats like us can process our own helpers directly in the immigration and they will have a legal working visa. Now thanks to Philippine requirements unless the helper have a POEA membership. POEA membership which by the way cannot be simply be applied on your own but should be via agency who charges hundreds & hundreds of peso good enough for down-payment for a more worthy investment. Then POEA wonders why there are many illegal workers??!!!

Here we are ordinary citizens who are working for a living and just need someone to take care of our children. We are providing a good and legal employment to other Filipinos who are also aiming for a better future for their families and yet they don't acknowledge that. I mean the POEA can be all protective and stuff but as we are OFW's ourselves they should at least consider that we cannot simply afford the outrageous agency fees (which by the way requires us to get an agency in the Philippines and an agency in Malaysia).

So frustrated..I hope I find out how to solve this or else I would have to think of alternative ways for child care :( which I really hope not to especially we are in a foreign land. And we really do prefer a Filipino maid who we can easily communicate with.

Wishing & hoping..

2011-01-14T10:28:00.004+08:00

For ease and more milk....

Ang mahal pala nito!Yaiks!

Big announcement

2010-11-24T18:51:00.003+08:00

As the tradition goes that I first announced my conception via web in this blog. I feel it's just appropriate to do so here rather than FB. Hahaha that and I have other intentions for keeping quiet like hoping that doesn't stop them from giving me a regular post at work. Anyway, I care less nowadays plus hubby said it's okay "I will all take care of you.." naks ang yaman ni daddy!

I'm preggers again!!Hurray!!This time I figured because I missed my period for days now + buffer allowance. With Iaree it was like - what the hell did I eat I keep on rejecting all the food. That was immediately after consuming half of the greenwich supreme pizza at the bus on the way to Pampanga (Ryan's hometown), there after I was not able to consume any food. Just throwing up everything including water.

When we haven't confirmed yet I was trying not to be expectant coz we've been trying for 2 months now. But happily 2 lines appeared. Actually the second line was so faint that I thought of buying several other pregnancy kits. LOL!I manage to make an appointment with my OB-Gyne only after a few weeks. Few weeks back when I didn't know about this all my pants were shrinking...so I bought 2 pairs only to find out later there was actually a reason for not fitting in my pants and it was not because of our washing machine. Whew.

During the doctor's visit (The doctor who delivered Iaree, impressively, still remembers us very well and she was not holding our records hah coz they can't find the old one), she said the baby is too tiny if she will base it on my LMP. Then she tentatively set the EDD on Iaree's bday. Hahaha! We knew it. We should've skip the conception process October so that we get to celebrate plenty of parties in the family. Nonetheless if it is indeed going to be same as Ate Iaree's bday then big double bash parties it is!!!Provided we have the luxury of mommy working..=D

I need a pick-me up

2010-02-19T18:17:00.003+08:00

And no i don't think Starbuck can do it this time. I want to be surrounded by friends and not be serious for a while. I miss how my friends see me and how I can easily relate to them. =( I feel sad why it's taking this long for me to make new friends here because when I joined there are already PLENTY of things going on with their lives and in the team. It was so akward for me and I feel I keep on getting on their wrong side (ok maybe not so but and I'm just getting either too paranoid or too sensitive about this). I was so bored to my skin (despite tons of work I have to do) that I managed to search and call a few schools for Iaree.

Haaaayyy..oh well. On another note, how ironic that the technologies that chould bring us together could also be the same tool keeping us apart. I mean a text or a chat could so easily be misinterpreted or taken wrongly. Because of our high dependency on it most people do not make an effort to get to know the person well to match his or her language and tone before judging them. Ok if this entry is bringing you down then that's because that must be what I'm feeling while I'm writing this.

Big THREE - "O"

2010-02-10T13:04:00.003+08:00

Last 2 weeks back I celebrated my 30th birthday.
I can hardly believe of the number and I would've worried if I wasn't feeling good, looking good and having more fun than I did 10 years back. I think I reached the point when I know how to take care of myself because as cliche as it sounds if you don't know how to take care of yourself then how can you take care of others. If I knew how to look this good before I'm thinking if I would've bagged those guys I was eyeing..hahaha. But I guess looks is just one self-confidence is another. I feel more sure and confident of what I want, how I want it and how I can actually get things or make things happen. I am savoring everything and anything life hands me. Yes including the ugly parts (as often as I rant about it) I appreciate that too.

About the celebration(s) since I'm with a new team no one here knows it's my birthday so I planned to treat my Filipino friends who I enjoy having lunch with then pizza for the tea-break for my team. Well thanks to facebook (where most people found out anyway) my birthday was announced to all. I don't want my team feeling bad they didn't know. Actually during my pizza treat they gave me this yummy mango cake. =). Speaking of facebook that is soooo sooo overwhelming to have I would think about 30+ friends greeting me there. I had YM birthday messages, emails and of course the phone calls from my family. It made it such a super day!!!So heartwarming indeed. I did not file for a leave anymore but I took the opportunity of using my "replacement leave in lieu of a public holiday falling on a Saturday". My family scheduled a trip to Melaka and although it's our second time to go there we still had lots of fun spending time together, exploring & doing things. End product we are so dark and Iaree is so red after the trip so I canceled the scheduled photoshoot at The Picture Company.

Ryan has given me my birthday gift during Christmas so it was a surprise indeed to wake up to a large present at the foot of the bed. Of course the little girl was much too happy to open it and it was a set perfume of Clinique Happy. With a very endearing cryptic note attached to it:

I can't take your cooking... good thing you're getting better at it!
I can't take your jokes... good thing you're interesting to talk to!
I can't take your shopping.... good thing I still have money!
I can't take your _____.... so I bought you a PRESENT!

Ang bait noh?!Well he said he was just trying to make a humorous attachment to the present. Overall it was a fab fab birthday. If I were in the Philippines I would have celebrated it differently but then again I was here and nevertheless had a blast. Thank you God for wonderful 30 years of my life looking forward to more years ahead.

Quick rant

2010-02-09T21:48:00.002+08:00

As usual this will be a quick rant while hubby is busy with his PSP & Iaree is busy with her portable DVD watching Barbie for the Nth time. I do hope I find time to narrate about how fun my 30th birthday was though coz it's also like this blog's anniversary as well.

Wow talk about office politics at its best.

What are you supposed to do when you are so caught up with such? I am so missing my old boss, the best boss I ever had. Note to self meet up with her for some valuable mentoring when I go back to the Philippines. I am already forgetting what she had taught me before to zip it when you have nothing nice to say. How ah? Especially when you feel it's so bottled up inside you? I miss my friends in Cyber! I so miss how simply fun they are to hang out with and how I can be myself and hardly talking about work during lunch. Oh well. GTG. Mommy make milk na daw si Iaree.

My hand in photography

2009-12-17T08:55:00.000+08:00

These past few weeks I'm so busy doing nothing. Don't get me wrong my daughter doesn't let me off her sight so if I want to practice with our D90 hah she'll be there to bug mommy. Anyway this is nothing to brag about but posting it here as this is the only site that's my own. Our multiply site is like our family site and facebook is out of the question as I'm not even close to even say I own a DSLR. Whew! I never knew learning the ropes of photography could be one of the most difficult things I have studied...errr...ok I still don't know how to drive but throw me a complicated study of cognitive psychology or neuro psych it would make more sense.

Having a cute baby is my life's good karma

2009-12-09T20:57:00.002+08:00

It's official. It's not only my husband and me who says our daughter is pretty or cute so this is the proud momma speaking. Hahaha. I had an urge to reply to my college friend that my mother used to get the same comments when she mentioned online that I do have a beautiful daughter. Hahaha. Of course that isn't true and she of all people would know how insecure I was before.

Along with my reverie of thoughts as a result of this unplanned staying at home I received yet another invitation in facebook from this guy who was THE GUY from the past. Needless to say I have come a long way from the girl who had so many rejections so many heartaches as I am now the woman blessed with such a loving and supportive family, the pretty & talented daughter was an icing on the cake. Gosh how I used to cry a lot back then and now none of that matters and in fact they are the ones now seeking my friendship (online at least, well this guy still chats with me too once in a while and used to text me when I was in the Phil). How I ended up happy 80-90% of my days (which I think is a good percentage considering life's trials) is something that I marvel at. I am not certain how it happened. As Julie Andrews' once sang - "there's something in my youth or childhood...I must have done something good". Could it be that Ryan & I met at the right time? One thing for sure I'm grateful I was not stuck that time with these loser guys ugh or I wouldn't have this pretty little girl with my Chinese looking husband. So nice how things work out when I used to think there was no hope for me at all.

Have you set up your Christmas decor?

2009-12-08T09:40:00.000+08:00

It's Christmas once again!

Have you set you set up your Christmas decor? This year will be an easy (?) one for me because I have the help of a very eager little helper.

Something unexpected

2009-12-01T17:29:00.002+08:00

I was a planner and I guess I still am. However now I came to accept that life gives you pleasant surprises and nasty ones. It's there everyday in the little things that come your way. And life is wonderful like that some may not agree to that statement seeing how unexpected things can throw you off the track. End of the day it's a matter of outlook. You do not have to dissect each event in your life and ask questions that leaves you frustrated when unanswered.

This was my most recent pleasant surprise...
December 1, today, was supposed to be my orientation day and first day in my new team. To prepare myself for a come-back (recruitment) role I took a leave Nov 30 making it a 4 day long holiday for me. Yesterday at past 6 pm I got a call. "Sorry Rhodora your work permit isn't ready yet so you cannot start tomorrow." Such statement could make me panic but since my work permit is already cancelled on the other side I do not have any obligations to work with anyone. Which only means one thing for me...more time given to spend with my daughter even if I was not asking for it. I love it! Hahaha daddy was jealous!

My baby bumblebee

2009-11-30T17:03:00.003+08:00

My oh my...my baby bumblebee is growing up too fast too soon!
I can't even call her my baby anymore or she will start cuddling up and making baby noises "eeeh..ehhh.."making her voice even tinier. Of course the cuddle part I do not mind but I'm starting to realize that she's spoiled by me as much as she is spoiled by daddy. Hmmm...we have to stop this. It's just that with only one kid at home it's so damn hard not to give her too much attention. Hmm..no wonder people are saying I was a spoiled brat. Mind you being spoiled is not only on the material things I think it's really more on getting what you want when you want it. That's why I was obviously so stubborn as well used to getting things my way. Hahaha!So life is such a misery and a tradegy when I don't when actually it wasn't so but. Although from the way I see it my daughter is not yet so bad in fact she has good manners that I myself forget to use on her. She says please when asking for something. She says thank you after you give it. When she's not toooo guilty or scared when we are angry she says sorry. She also says excuse me when we are in her way. I was so impressed that we didn't have to teach her this but I think it was more on setting the example and suddenly she was picking it up. The tv shows from playhouse disney was also a big help as when they talk to each other they all have their manners. Cool! So we do try to savour every fun moment as much as we can.

Did I do a good job?

2009-11-20T16:30:00.002+08:00

I am leaving once again.
Since I joined my new company I have been hopping around the organization. Teehee. I had never been a job hopper and I never intend to but of course there were unseen circumstances. This time towards something that I like or at least not stuck with something(aka as unstable system that I am working on) or somewhere I do not like(aka Cyberjaya). I had to grab it while the window of opportunity was open. So while they used to rave about me and how valuable I am to the team that's why they cannot let me go and the other team getting me was saying she's our only best candidate for this job as the days are near I am actually getting pressured if I really am the girl they were describing.

I remember that I was willing for my career to take a backseat when I felt that my family is my no.1 priority. Thing with recruitment or perhaps having any thriving career for that matter with a household and child to balance is enough to drive any woman nuts. Add to that though being a wife is not exactly a task these are the things you still have to be good at. How can I be a good mom or wife if I am soooo stressed at work?? Anyway, I went back to the game didn't I? It was really great that I was able to stop and experience being a stay at home mom. Ideally, as my married colleagues put it, the job we are doing is just nice for moms like us because our priorities have changed. Hah! For crying out loud I am still very loaded and although at the end of the day even with people screaming at me I shut down my laptop to catch my bus that was just part of me developing a thick skin. Hahaha. Yes Recruitment may have a more hectic demands but I guess when your heart is set at something & it's the kind of stress I am used to PLUS career wise it add values to my experience so with it I still can climb the ladder in an organization if I want to.

Scary but I just realized I have not been in recruitment for almost a year. Will I make it as they expected me to? Hopefully later people I will leave behind in my team especially the managers who hired me will find it in their heart to forgive me. I love my team and the managers too!!It's not often you get to say that in your career right? I just hope too that later they will remember that I somehow contributed to the team. Sigh. Don't you just hate goodbyes

Robbery & Sale

2009-11-03T16:12:00.003+08:00

It must be the height of Christmas season in the Philippines.

Left and right I am getting either stories about robbery or information about sale. I remember that during this season I am so scared going to robbery prone areas and vigilant to the fact that they get more and more creative each year. It's so terrible. Having stayed here in Malaysia for 3 years now makes me long to go back to the Philippines with the comforts of home and friends but reading about these horror stories and knowing how close you can get in experiencing one is the main reason why we are still here and considering to move to New Zealand - ZERO crime rate.

Oh but the shopping at this time is so awesome!!!I also remember not spending too much on months before so I can splurge on shopping for Christmas. As kids, lolo used to give us a budget based on the people who we will buy gifts for. Looking back I realize that was so nice of him to do that. As a child you felt it was ordinary but if he & lola could hear me now I now appreciate more what a great gift they give to us.

Well I'm getting sentimental coz we are not going home this year. It's so costly to go back home especially on peak season. Maybe I would just start saving up for a Christmas trip next year so that like when I was a small girl Iaree can experience being surrounded with lots & lots of gifts too coming from loved ones. But I do pray for my family and friends to stay safe during this season. I still can't believe how the demand for these bad people get high around this season. I mean are they doing this so that their own families have a great Christmas as well? Then it's totally missing the point. Even Jesus was born in a manger and did not have to be covered in expensive clothes and have a big spread of food before him. While I'm at it I will pray for these criminals enlightenment as well so that they do not affect of harm other people. Arrrgh. I really hope they stop this already. Aiyaa so worried lah! (hehe, I so speak with a Malaysian accent nowadays).

the upcoming 5th Year

2009-09-14T14:28:00.002+08:00

We must admit that one thing we are jealous of other couples is that they still get to go out watch a movie, go on a date have a little alone time. Coz that doesn't seem to be in the vocabulary of my mom. If we do that she'll feel left out blah blah blah. And I also asked Ryan if my mom would agree knowing how we are with our daughter we don't have the heart to leave her anyway so we also have an issue.

The last movie we saw together was Transformers 2 and trust me I was the first in the exit door of the movie house. It was not a date at all. We used to have DVD nights at home but lately Iaree sleeps so late or she hostages one of us to sit with her in her playroom. Literally hostage or we'll get screamed at - "Daddy sit!" "Mommy sit!". If we are around there has to be at least one of us there with her. So nowadays to watch a movie that we like we watch separately too.

As we are in cost-saving mode we didn't want to spend on a lavish anniversary trip. Iaree would of course be FOC but my mom would be an extra expense, extra room, extra buffet breakfast...etc. Ryan is thinking of getting me a diamond something and I was thinking of getting him a watch as he doesn't own one. Problem is he is not keen of wearing one either. We are out of options here I wanted it to be a special day. I know we wont be able to go somewhere and nowadays Ryan is such as KJ to pose for pictures so even if I just make a special dinner at home the day will pass to be such an ordinary one. I guess I just have to dream on in having a special celebration. =( Sulk.

Car-less days

2009-09-10T13:01:00.002+08:00

It's so difficult to be car-less in Malaysia. Transport system is not so awesome especially in the place we live now. And taxi/bus fare is not as cheap anymore after the fare hike.

On a different perspective we may be car-less but still thankful that Ryan is okay and harm-free. Really really worth thanking for especially when I saw our car's condition after the accident.

It happened one very rainy day on his way to pick me up as usual he was driving on an inclined highway with a good distance from the car in front of him suddenly the car stopped and when he hit the brakes since the road was inclined and slippery - BANG!!! The Proton Saga that he hit was dent free unfortunately our Proton Wira was like a sardines can that easily got smashed. What more the heavy rain caused further damage to the engine which the insurance won't cover. Talk about mucho dinero!

Last two weeks we both are enduring taking the bus and now that Ryan is getting the car back today he is actually considering of parking it instead at the bus terminal (cheap parking RM 1 = PHP 13 for the whole day) then taking the bus. Anyway I too am taking a bus since I work here in Cyberjaya now. Of course he's still thinking twice as he might only take 1 bus ride but waiting for the bus and the bus route takes an eternity to reach the destination.

Despite the expenses we are thinking of going somewhere tomorrow or over the weekend to celebrate getting the car back. Hehehehe. We really missed it.

My start date OVER THERE was made early!!!

2009-08-13T09:52:00.003+08:00

Wag sabihan ng "easy lng or chill" ang tao na mainit ang ulo dahil inilipat sa work place na di nya gusto!Hmp!

I thought I would be over this and I have conditioned myself to start my new role back to the pitiful palce I called Cyber (no offense but I cant help it coz the transport system over there really sucks as in missing the bus makes 2 hrs diff in the time you get home and not to mention expensive!!!). However suddenly they changed the date and I would have to start earlier than expected. Now that I am so in a middle of a lot of this which I also expected to wrap up by their earlier committed date. Of course I want to leave my post with a good exit where I have finished if not possible all but at least 80-90% of my tasks. These past few weeks I have been building good rapport with the managers of the business units that I am in charge of. They are very easy to work with and considering their high posts they are actually very nice and have sense of humor. Likewise I have been friends with a lot of people here and got accepted quite well.

Oh well. Yesterday I slipped back to my "furious" mode and I am suddenly wondering how I can motivate myself and smile that I love to be there on my first day. I mean at the moment I know that I need to but I hope that "need" would suffice to fuel me to work efficiently like I always do with all my previous company where I love what I do and I like the place I work at. Oh and again please dont tell me to take it "easy" as I am obviously not in that state of mind!!!

Shopping crisis

2009-08-10T10:42:00.006+08:00

What is it with women & clothes shopping? Well shoe shopping or even BOTH for some.

Our landlord who is nice but stingy furnished the condo with a tiny wardrobe closet (for my standard) which means I barely left Ryan space to place his clothes. Hehehe.

Now that I'm back to work and just came from shopping from our last trip to the Phils I am finally realizing that I have plenty of clothes. Because the only thing I have worn 2x - 3x are my slacks & cardigans. That too I have only alternately worn after a week or two. I even include thanking God every night specifically for this blessing apart from our health, safety & food that we eat. If we are not seriously saving - which we ALWAYS remind ourselves before and during the weekend - I'm sure I'd find it hard to resist the Malaysia Mega-Sale. Actually I had an early taste of it before we left for the Phils where I spent hundreds on Esprit & Mango (in fairness to me it was really a big bargain). Hahaha. To think I didn't have a job back then. But how come I feel I need a new skirt, blouse & blazer. Arrrrghhh!!!

Do you think I have started this little girl's career a little too early?

I love you Mommy!

2009-08-05T13:18:00.004+08:00

I've been waiting for the moment my darling girl can utter the words I love you. Since she was about 18 months she can associate "I love you" with Barney's popular I love you song. She hugs us when the song is sung and even gives us a kiss. Recently she had been singing it with her own words - "A la lu". Since I sing it to her following the Barney I love you tune - I love you baby iaree. She surprised us weeks ago by singing it exactly as "A la lu Baby Yayee" hahaha. That was the same time we were sure she was referring to herself when asked what her name was. She calls herself Yayee.

Last week I've been getting her to sing A la lu mommy instead and when she did Ryan tickled her prompting her to sing A la lu daddy too. Being the cheeky (and alaskador) baby she is (like her dad) she kept on singing "A la lu mommy" on and on to tease daddy more. Then daddy realized she was singing A la lu mommy to spite him so he stopped tickling her and promised to tickle her if she says a la lu daddy. We called her on the phone the other day which we never missed since I went back to work and again she was singing to us a la lu mommy mommy. It was hilarious, she was laughing on the other line, I was laughing and daddy was getting angry. Hahaha!She was even saying I love you to Dora which she pronouce as - dowa so it was like she was saying I love you to mommy again. Hahaha. "A la lu dowa dowa".

Last night daddy's reverse tactics of tickling her finally worked after a few days of torture when she prefers singing A lu lu mommy mommy. Daddy finally enjoyed a lot of "a la lu daddy daddy".

All things are temporary...especially my job!

2009-07-31T13:52:00.001+08:00

Though I was unable to share the past events on how we decided it was best for me to be a stay-at-home mom, those who were close to me knew why I was doing it. It wasn't easy and I wasn't fully supported even by my close friends and relatives. They felt it was such a waste that a straight-A student like me, almost completed her masters, who is very driven and ambitious would simply give up her career (to think they didn't know at that time that I was being offered an Asst. Manager position). We were so decided that even the begging of my boss (who not only had lenghty discussions with me but also sat down with my husband to make me stay even a few months longer) made me even extend my notice. What was hard to explain was since I had Iaree all our priorities shifted to her and what would be best for her. I felt that doing it for her I was doing it for myself too. It came to a point that this was not a matter of multitasking anymore (which I used to pride myself of doing).

It was a tough start, my mom went back at that time and financially it was such a bad timing for my side of the family. My father who was in the Phils for the Christmas break went back to work to find out his company shut down. We were all unemployed, me, my father, my mother & my prodigal brother who after 6 years is still in college and not even close to finishing it. This was followed by a series of unfortunate events which included my sister-in-law's retrenchment (she along with my husband supports their family) and the decision of my husband's client to drop him as their IT Consultant. Adjustment to the new role also took a few weeks for me. Iaree was more clingy and pampered by me when it's nap time. I carry her while asleep and if she sleeps 11AM I would surely miss my lunch. Motherhood it seems was more than a 12 hour job.

Eventually though mama found some temporary jobs and at least they have some sort of income. My sister in law manage to land a job too after almost a two month search.Although my brother who we asked to look for job too doesn't seem to understand the weight of our situation. I also got a hang of things at home and was actually enjoying it - finally! Ryan was very helpful around the house. Even after a long day from work he would help me clean up in the kitchen or take care of Iaree and let me do things. I knew I was doing ok when I manage to prepare regular meals, do a little housekeeping and still have time to play with Iaree. It was fun! And it was so amazing to see Iaree learn so many stuffs, I really got to watch her bloom. I was also enjoying taking naps with Iaree, a luxury working people cannot afford. If I am not sleeping I watch 2-3 episodes of my DVD series collection that I had to put off when I used to work. I completed Sex in the City and was halfway through Ally Mc Beal with Heroes, Brother's & Sister's and other movies on the side. Plus all Dan Brown books and more. I was having a blast for what most people warned me might be a boring role.

A few months later an opportunity came to me. In the midst of retrenchment, pay-cut, no salary increments and difficulties of getting a job, a Filipino acquaintance who got relocated in Malaysia offered me a job straight away with a good salary and a chance to upgrade our lifestyle as this would require us to relocate to a better place just a few minutes away from the convenience of hypermarts & malls.

As the decision to stop working was made over a long period of time it was not an easy feat for us to decide on going back. Arguments, serious deliberation, happy anticipation, fear enumeration all the usual fuss we tried to squeeze in a short span of time as the company didn't give me that long to decide to accept it or not. When we finally agreed to give it a shot against our previous conviction that it was best for me to stay at home for the time being and even if that time mama found a more permanent job & papa set up a small home business. It took like forever for them to process my employment permit but I was finally back to work after 6 mos of role change. It was so heartbreaking to part from my darling girl and after almost a month I'm still not over it. It was just a consolation though that this company is not as demanding and I am only 5-10 mins away from home. So I still get to play with Iaree in the playground or take her out to swim. Plus I cook dinner and even clean our room. Again we needed mama to help us out with Iaree coz they we such in a hurry before that we didn't have the time to process or even look for a yaya. (Nobody really expected the hitches in the work permit). It's all well isn't it? Brand new home in a place we so so love!!!Very very convenient to my workplace and though it's farther for Ryan, his petrol is cheaper because he passes via highway that is not too inclined as compared to where we previously live (read: full tank now lasts 10-14 days as compared to 5-7 days before).

It was a perfect picture...ONLY FOR A WEEK because the next week after I started work I was told that my post had to be dissolve due to wrong calculation on the load of work hence my team's headcount was exceeded. Ang saya di ba?! Literal na di pa umiinit ang pwet ko sa upuan ko. I was so mad and frustrated to a point gusto ko sapakin ung taong nagbigay sa akin ng work. Hehe good thing he was a nice person and he already had an alternative. He was offering me a non-recruitment job in my previous work location (which I totally hated and take note the location was one major factor in my decision to quit). Great right?!

We resorted again to deliberation time, well it wasn't much of a deliberation because as Ryan puts it - you are getting janitorial job with a supervisory pay, I'd just have to endure that long travel again. I have to set aside any career progression with this type of job. If we didn't spend for our house transfer, mama's visa & flight tickets we would consider me quitting instead. But I wasn't really left in the dark right and I came to realize that sometimes God has plans we don't understand at the moment. SLOWLY (yes slowly as the operative word here as I kept on lamenting about this to everybody when I was so so down) I saw the advantage of this unexpected and unwelcomed change. I may work far and travel long hours again but at least my work will not be as demanding. They even hinted that once I get the hang of my new role I can ask permission to work on our branch near our condo (where I am at the moment) or even work from home. With Iaree as my priority that could actually work. Let's see. It's just a year of contract anyway and despite what they say not counting eggs before they hatch we actually have. So a little sacrifice from me could do our family good. Anyway I have a very supportive husband, adorable daughter & helpful mother so I know I can pull this off.

The 2nd birthday Celebration in Pinas

2009-07-06T17:10:00.002+08:00

It's not wise for us to go home as often as before so we wanted to make this trip a memorable one.

We made a last minute decision to throw a quick & simple Jollibee party for Iaree even if we decided against it in the first place (back in Feb when we bought our plane tickets) being considerate of the economic crisis that struck both our families directly. All along it was supposed to be a simple dinner with both of our families and that's it. When we were listing our menu and guest we realized that the expenses is so close to our original Jollibee party budget so a month before we left we reverted to our first plan of Jollibee party. We also thank God for the blessings we have received and we foresee that our families will be stable again soon so a party will not be so inappropriate after all.

Since it was a last minute thing, all the Jollibee's near Makati was either booked or the timing was off (it was Iaree's sleeping time) and although Iaree had no idea who Jollibee is, the food there is something we look forward to since McDonald's and other fastfoods are available here in Malaysia. Meanwhile, in Pampanga we learned from my sis-in-law's that since McDonald's in their town closed they only allowed party in Jollibee every weekends and only during Iaree's sleeping time. Yes, we wanted to give Iaree 2 Jollibee parties (at my hometown - Makati & at Ryan's - Guagua) .. Hehehe we're not addicts nor fans of Jollibee but as I've said it was the easiest fastest and economical choice for a children's party.

End product - a simple close family "grilled all-Filipino dishes" at Pampanga and a Jollibee party in Ortigas Roosevelt. The result? We had a blast and most importantly Iaree really really had a great time.

In Pampanga: After she warmed up with her cousins she had a great time playing with them. Not to mention it was the first time she saw a live chicken so even with the chicken she was so ecstatic. She was screaming, running and forgetting mommy & daddy. She bonded well with her cousins and enjoyed herself very much that Ryan and I was so happy despite not being able to throw a Jollibee or a grander party than that.

In Manila: She bonded well with Jollibee. Her first orientation of Jollibee was through pictures I downloaded and when she saw Jollibee on the first day we arrived she was shouting and pointing at a Jollibee restaurant. Saying "Jaalbeee Jaalbee! Hi Jalbee!Hiiii!" Ryan and I was so surprised. Even when we went shopping at Glorietta and ate at the food court she kept on waving at Jollibee saying hi and goodbye to Jollibee. Okay close sila sabi namin.Hahaha.And at least during her party Jollibee will not be something foreign to her meaning she wont be that scared. Leaving us with our worry that she will shy away from our guest who most of them she have not met and that she has limited food option since she doesn't eat spaghetti.

Come party time, all our worries vanished. She ate the spaghetti, chicken & ice cream (of course) plus after the party she requested for french fries. Best of all, she did not shy away from people that much and she even joined on one of the games. With our encouragement she kisses people and if they are lucky they can carry her. She looooovvvvvvveeeeeed Jollibee (of course with my instructions that Jollibee shouldn't move too much - knowing how Iaree is with dogs, she loves touching them but when they start moving she runs back to us, several times tuloy parang na-stroke na si Jollibee for not moving when Iaree is near-hahahaha). Ryan and I found ourselves enjoying a lot too. No erase that...my entire family enjoyed the party and seeing Iaree that happy Ryan & I was so so elated. We both wonder if elated is a word enough to describe what we felt that day. To sum it up it was simply a huge success. Reasonable expenses, a little career mode for me coz I personalized the loot bag with my imaginary theme (ABC's) and I labored over photoshop for her e-invites; 95% guests turn out (as usual si Remelu & family indianera and si Leira daw na nalimutan ang date hmmm); nice party pictures - no hired photographer needed (thanks to my cousin Tats, but friends who had digicam that day please send me din your shots) and acceptable video coverage (non shaky video) courtesy of my brother (thanks din kapatid!).

High pa din kaming lahat ngayon even if house quarantine mode kami. As expected Jollibee's dance number is on the loop of our video since we arrived last night. Ryan even said a while ago come on let's plan Iaree's 3rd birthday in Jollibee again. Hahahaha! This time we're undeniably a certified fan.

An almost midnight snack

2009-06-11T10:16:00.003+08:00

At 10:00 PM our house was still full of energy last night. Then Ryan called in to inform us he's on his way home from night out with his colleagues. So we thought it will be great time for a drive through at McDonald's and as a result we have one satisfied little (almost) midnight snacker...

Baby Iaree tidbits

2009-05-25T12:38:00.004+08:00

Iaree is so addicted to swimming. I think I need to buy more bathing suits for her because she swims everyday.

At 19 months she can sing the alphabet up ABC only but now at 22 mos, she can sing up to J, and some other letters - MNOP, S, V, X, Z---including calling Barney at the end of the song. Hahaha!But she has variations like calling daddy or mommy too

I have no idea how long she has known this but one night I started counting and she counted ahead of me up to 10 except for 7 & 9 but it was also in the right sequence

When asked what her name is she would either reply - baby or iya!She started calling herself IYA when she tells who owns the toothbrush hanging by our lavatory she starts with daddy, mommy then Iya!

She is fond of viewing her pictures or videos nonstop

For like a two months or so she was so hooked on watching Barney, Barbie the Island Princess & Barbie Swan Lake. Nothing else. Paulit ulit ulit. Now She grew tired of it and is into reading books.

When she finishes reading a book she would say "innn the". She reversed "the end" on purpose because I laughed the first time I heard it.

She loves writing and to date she has written in our LCD TV twice, play room wall thrice, floor I lost count you pretty much get the idea

If before it was such a chore to feed her I noticed now that there are just selected days when she refuses too and it's when a tooth is coming out. Otherwise she's like a fish monster...finishes the fish we give her before we can finish checking the bone of the next. I have no difficulty feeding her veggies too except that there would be days that she won't eat what she was enjoying only last week...when it comes to veggies she's a moody eater.

When we go to the outdoor playground she usually brings something to push either her baby doll stroller or grocery cart. However, due to her anxiety on strangers esp with the guards here who waves and smiles at her everytime we run into one she'll either freeze, ask to be carried or walk bowed down eyeing the guard in the corner of her eye. So funny and cute when you actually see it..hahaha

If she doesn't want you to carry her or if you are giving her something she doesn't want she would say "push" "push" even if she actually doesn't push you.

When I put her to sleep and she's being stubborn I will tell her to close her eyes. She will but she will also check if I'm looking and if I am she will push my head away.

I never managed to finish this as I started writing it a few months back but I was browsing babycenter and even if I am not too keen in comparing Iaree's milestones in a chart it seems that there are some stuff that she can't do yet but some stuff that she's doing way ahead of schedule. =)

Milestone Chart for Iaree's age group

Anyway I thought of posting this even if it's incomplete as I am hoping to post an updated 2 yr old Iaree tidbits. It has a lot a changes surprisingling in just 2-3 months!

Almost Done

2009-05-14T14:53:00.004+08:00

Moving in is so exciting...even the unpacking part. Its even better while I'm a stay at home mom coz I have time to put everyting in order and stuffs have its own place. Although I love our new condo my only two complaints are:
1. Its so new all the other tenants are having their units renovated = noisy all day!well i got used to it though as long as my darling baby can still fall asleep.
2. The wardrobe closet the owner provided is just enough for my clothes. Lucky for Ryan he only have a few so I managed to squueze it in somehow. Which reminds me I need to buy another one of those plastic drawer (the cheap ones so I wont feel bad disposing it once we leave MY for good). For my bags & other accessories that I haven't kept yet.

As for the rest I can only sing praises!Iaree loves her own playroom where we set up her bookshelf filled with Disney & Barney books she can easily reach & manage anytime (she spends a lot of time here). I simply love our room!With an awesome view of the city a little to the right are mountains, its so relaxing and in time I will set up a small nook with carpet & cushions next to the window. Its such a comfort knowing the malls are a stone throw away.We love love love the podium. Its the floor that holds the condo's poolsssss(4 adult pool-2 infinity/aquarium type, 2 with jacuzzi),(2 kiddie pool - 1 with hanging hearts, flower, star on the shower head & 1 with a slide); club house, bbq areas, lounging areas (which makes us feel we are on a vacation spot), tennis court, badminton court & 2 playgrounds.

We are sewing our own curtains as ready made curtains are so expensive.whew...and we still dont have our sofa set. We are waiting for Ryan's local credit card...hehehe. Hopefully by June we are completely settled and maybe maybe we can have a simple housewarming if i did not max out our budget buying cabinets & wardrobe...hehehe

Mommy's first crocs

2009-04-20T12:39:00.003+08:00

Mommy often wonder what I love about my crocs from the first day they bought me one and I don't complain nor remove it at home or when at the mall.

Then after several months she finally got one, not to mention her size is often out of stock. Congratulations to mommy! Now she can experience the comfort of walking around with crocs like I do. While daddy bought mom her first crocs I now have a total of 4 crocs!Of course dad can't help but buy me 2 more pairs for my collection.

Um, dad I think I can borrow your shoes as well..I can walk around in it too.

Lost in cyberspace

2009-04-13T12:35:00.002+08:00

With all the social network available one would always feel so connected right? Then why is it so stressful to manage everything?!!Whew...

My friendster account was a very very old one, my first ever but I am not active in using it as uploading pictures are so difficult (you have to resize it and it's so slow) I did not even know I had dozens of birthday greetings there and it's already April. However I like keeping it because most of my classmates (college & highschool) and some relatives communicate with me there.

This blog not exactly a networking site but given a chance I'd want to improve this because this is where I express myself more. In words at least but I have no idea who reads this unless when my friends (who I had no idea reads this) would mention to me that I don't update this anymore.

Multiply is my favorite unfortunately my active ex-colleagues(Phils & Malaysia) are in facebook. Each site, different audience it feels like a different me and obviously taking care of an active 21-month old baby I don't have the luxury to post in each site. Although facebook does look fun I am so comfortable with multiply and I have so many posts there already I feel that it represents me more.

Haaayy...welcome to my cyberlife.

Queen of misfortune

2009-04-03T15:42:00.002+08:00

After the incident this morning I knew I am a nominee for bad mommy of the year.

Flashback 4 hours ago...

I picked up the plastics for garbage recycling as I am tidying up our place because our house owner is so desperate to get a replacement for us when we move end of the month that she has arranged a viewing tonight.As Iaree was in front of the laptop watching her self videos (she loves this a lot), I made a quick dash to the garbage bin just two steps from our door. I turned my back placed the garbage in and closed it then as I was about to reach for the door SLAM! Iaree has closed it and even doubled locked the door. Sadly she only knows how to lock because we did not teach her how to unlock. In the first place we never taught her how to lock it. A pretty girl all dressed up going down the stairs saw me and smiled at me. I smiled back and told her my baby is locked inside the house. I asked to borrow her phone to call the admin for help. Minutes passed and the girl also waiting for help to arrive asked me if they have. But they haven't and I try to calm my already panicking guts. Iaree called me once and was telling a lot of things. The tone of her voice told me it was more of a "mom why did you not take me with you if you are going out there" than a "mom you left me alone I'm scared". No crying at all which can be good or bad but admin has no excuse to stall. The nice lady still waiting offered to lend me their ladder altough she cannot say it in English. Guessing game kme. All dress up in her mini metallic dress with matching glittery handbag (big version) She went to her unit and brought the ladder down. I can go with her to get it however I do not want to leave Iaree in case she cries or anything so I stood within earshot or our unit.

The ladder was short it didn't reach the second floor so little miss nice girl went back up to their unit carrying the ladder. Pity the girl really but I was too distraught by now. Luckily I saw the cleaning lady of our building and I asked if she speaks English. She told me she can a bit and I quickly complained to her the lack of response of admin about my predicament. She was prompt and in less than a minute she was with a guard and in a motorbike along come with them the admin person. At this point Iaree was not responding to my call but through the small space under the door I saw her two small legs by the sofa tinkering on something so at least she was fine.

Finally the small group arguing in Malay which I understood a bit has agreed to bring me a big ladder. Security guard, cleaning lady was on my side. I let the nice girl, who told me she was not Malay (I asked her to talk to them in Malay when the help came) but apparently she was Thai, I asked her I'll be fine as I was so so guilty that she's running late for her appointment. Without hesitation I climbed the rather unstable looking ladder in a hurry to get to my baby. 15 long minutes had passed! As dramatic as it sounds I came to her and hugged her immediately, unfazed and wondering what's wrong with mommy she just stared at me then continued removing all the contents of my wallet.

After I put her to sleep I started preparing dinner (Beef Nilaga) which is basically just broth. Well I have cooked the dish a hundred times but this time I burned it. Yea!Swimming in broth yet I burned the beef. Not only am I a bad mom but a bad wife as well. Hmmmm...

Today just doesn't seem to be my day.

Social skills of babies

2009-04-02T09:50:00.004+08:00

Hah!It's 9:50 AM and she's still sleeping!!!

Okay fast before she wakes....

A child in Asia is so blessed with extended families and friendly neighbors who would be more or less your age(child & parent alike). I am sure I will not be worrying about Iaree's social skills if we lived in the Philippines but I'm pretty sure I'd be worried about something else such as security & pollution. We just noticed that since she only gets to interact with mommy & daddy and also lola before she is very very anxious with strangers. Especially with men. This anxiety is acceptable since this is a good defence mechanism of babies like her from strangers. However her aloofness extends even to kids except for babies younger than her.

This brought us to consider putting her in a play school. We scouted around Bangsar area but considering the schedule and my lack of driving skills we totally dropped the idea. I tried this small school inside Pantai Hillpark Phase 2 and the owner Ms. Nadia was kind enough to let her try it first for free because she's the youngest baby there and they obviously dont have a special group for her.

I noticed that it's pretty structured and although not that traditional(that's what they claimed) the school does not incorporate the play and learn environment that is more ideal for young children. Iaree had a blast the first day my mistake the second day was I left her too soon I should've left her after say a month or 5-7 meetings. So she was so anxious when I came in to get her. The following meetings ( I take her 2x a week), she would never leave my side ever. I know it was my fault but I noticed that on the other meetings it wasn't that much play anymore so Iaree even if she would try to leave my side gets uninterested in of course writing alphabet in the workbook and coloring. Not to mention they got at ease having me around that they dont mind scolding the kids for not finishing the food or not working...I am no expert but that's not how you make children their age do things. There was only one teacher there who was engaging and patient enough to really go along with her interest. Unfortunately she is the dedicated teacher of the bigger kids (5-6). After 3 more meetings and I think even the toddler's teachers were also noticing its not working (they had 10+ more students ages 2.5-4. The owner left it to me to decide if we will continue and never charged us. Dapat lng naman dahil di naman sila ngextend ng effort ke Iaree.

So put on hold muna her socialization activities and we'll plan it out we move to our new place and Iaree will be 2 y.old and more independent. For now...we all love Jungle Gym in Bangsar and we'll surely miss going there weekly.

What's up?

2009-03-19T13:11:00.006+08:00

Here I am and I thought as a stay-at-home-mom I have the luxury to blog more often. I was obviously mistaken. I was not mistaken though that it will be tough at first and boy was is really tough not only for me but also for Ryan. Our baby 18 mos old (Jan) started having tantrums before sleeping. As in if it's sleeping time she throws tantrums despite her droopy sleepy eyes. She just wants to stay awake and play or do something like ransack my drawers. We tried everything pretended to sleep, turned off the lights, fed her well, gave her a sleep routine nothing worked. There was even one time that Ryan and I both fell asleep for a few minutes when I opened my eyes there she was playing still. We took her to a developmental pedia not that she can do anything with it but I was hoping that she has a broader understanding in a child's development to no avail her advice was as useless as the other things we have tried. Well ok somehow talking to her made us pinpoint that the baby is sabik to play with daddy. Hence she wants to extend the evening.

It was more frustrating for me because I thought I was equipped with children's development studying it for my masters. Apparently with a wailing child and lack of sleep you simply can't put theories into practice. What finally worked was Ryan would stay out until she falls asleep. This worked for two weeks and now even if she still sleeps late 11 PM or 12 AM she manages to sleep with Ryan around. Coz poor Ryan had been forgotten several times waiting for me to call him or text him when both Iaree and I are already faraway in dreamland.

After that and until now full time motherhood and housewife is so much fun. It simply meant I have to have a routine or at least a flexible one to accommodate sleep hour changes of Iaree. I have to cook food 1-2 days before so I have something prepared if Iaree is being difficult (defined as: won't leave mommy's side or asks to be carried). Another bad habit we missed correcting and now I understand the consequences was she got used to be carried to sleep. Hence while she takes her nap at noon I am carrying her. Leaving me free to only watch my Sex and the City episodes in the laptop. Once in a while with my free hand I chat with friends and family to keep in touch.

I feel guilty about this but her addiction to Barney & Barbie gives me a few hours to do other chores or sometimes cook and take a bath. Generally she behaves very well. As long as I give her undivided play time if she got engrossed mommy can cook or pick up the mess in the house. Aside from the mess and the unfolded wash clothes I have everything under control. Now I understand how rewarding it is to spend time with your baby. Iaree baby is so sweet - she asks for hugs all the time, sings the alphabet A-G and LMNOP. And she recognizes the letters already as we have alphabet ref magnets. Gone was the 17 month old baby so difficult to feed. She was such a hearty eater now. At 20 mos she has built up a lot of vocabulary and so many action songs. I love every minute of it!Something I know I will miss very soon. Thanks to my wonderful husband who made me feel I am not alone with the household chores or taking care of the baby and especially for making it possible to be Stay At Home Mom.

The elusive case of happiness

2009-02-26T10:09:00.002+08:00

I am aware of my 2 month absence here and instead of telling you previous accounts as to what happened in between I thought I would share something more delightful to ponder about while my baby is sleeping in my arms literally(yes I'm typing with pne hand) and I cross my fingers I finish this entry before she wakes up.

Back in DLSU I took this subject in my master's degree that talks about happiness. I'm sure I have a few entries about that in the past. Given that psychology always deals with the negative aspects in life...disorders,dysfunctions what is faulty blah blah blah. It's refereshing to know that a team of experts are giving light to what they call the Psychology of Happiness.

I just realized that while chatting with a friend about her marital woes and that statement - im swallowing everything coz' I have to; really really bugged me because she's a dear dear friend and it's sad to hear that from her. While I watch my other friends dissolve marriage around me and with my fair share of quarrels and dealing with my other half. It makes me think when do we actually give up on ourselves, to what extent do we give up our own happiness? I told my friend that she always have a choice and as I was thinking to tell her I want her to be happy I thought scrap that idea!!We all either give in too much to our worries or we try too hard to find happiness that there are days we dont know what happiness is.

Is it staying in an emotionally abusive marriage? Is it leaving your philandering husband at the expense of losing communication with your children? Is it closing your eyes to your wife's infidelity and grab the first chance you get to do the same?
Well I guess I'll never know the answer and I pray to God I wont have to ask the question. This is neither a lecture about marriage nor am I in a position to judge anyone. It's just that we look too hard to look for it but actually it's not a black and white thing and what makes one happy doesn't make the other one so.

End of the conversation with my friend I just wished her lesser unhappy days and told her I'll be here for her on those days. Coz staying happy and being happy will be there but for days that are so dismal, gloomy and unavoidably unhappy you'd be grateful to have a good friend around.

A Very Happy 2008 Christmas

2009-01-06T21:58:00.004+08:00

Christmas time is my favorite holiday since it has it all:
1. FAMILY
1.5 Christmas Shopping!!
2. Food and yummy leftovers the morning after
3. Opening and distributing the gifts
4. Picture taking while dress well

Remembering in our hearts that God's love for all has brought him to be one of us.

We are very fortunate that Ryan's company has a 2-week long Christmas break and we cannot plan our Singapore trip since our application for a dependent visa under the new company's entity might be processed during this time. Hence our passport will not be on hand. Once he has confirmed it wont be I immediately checked out the bus trips and my my it's all fully booked!From the cheapest bus line to the most expensive. THe only option left was to drive to Singapore which we finally opted.

It was a tiring drive for Ryan and our baby girl was patient enough through the entire ride except when she was feeling sleepy as was not quite comfortable in the car seat. Other than that she did not complain at all.

We arrived late in Singapore than expected. We kept on circling around in the border of Malaysia & SG because the GPS keeps on pointing in a road that is not being used anymore. It was pretty hilarious as we can see the immigration from where we are and we were joking that if I started walking we could've been finished with the formalities by the time they find their way there.

Driving to SG was pretty cool (says the passenger not the driver). We have done away with the very long que at the immigration and happily sat inside the car singing and waiting for our turn as if it's a lenghty and thorough tollgate.

When we reached Isip residence they were still out buying groceries. Considering the time and since the lady of the house is not around I was pretty sure I wont be able to cook as proposed. It was the first Noche Buena that I was not tied in the kitchen. Rightfully so the meals prepared was a feast to the palette! Free accommodation, presents for our entire family and a yummy fill to the tummy. Despite James being in the office my childhood friend & his family were very good hosts to us.

The next two days were hectic for a Singapore Zoo trip & Sentosa tour but our very dear and beloved driver was too bushed to add one more day for a city tour not to mention we are so so so so ashamed with James if we stayed for another day. So we reserved our city tour of Singapore and meeting friends for the next visit. =)

Sweet taste of fulfillment

2008-12-23T14:43:00.000+08:00

YEY!!

It feels great to finally watch it. Unplanned, Iaree just fell asleep and Ryan said go ahead and check the sched. Turns out it was a far not so popular mall and computing the travel time we can make just in time.

The film was, as what most say, not up to your expectations of a thumbs up but it was good. I mean it was not that bad. The major thing I did not appreciate was I think in the movie the build up of Bella & Edward's romance was not so convincing.

I was just happy to be finally watching Twilight sitting next to my real, true to life, warm & non biting Edward. Who I unconditionally and irrevocably love.

Hopefully (I will try my best) my last entry about Twilight

2008-12-20T18:16:00.002+08:00

I finished the saga!!I started Dec 4 and finished the last book Dec 14. I read Remember Me (Sophie Kinsella) in between coz I got awfully bored with the first book. I just got curious to if and when Bella will really become a vampire. Needless to say I fell in love with the characters Edward, Bella, Jacob, Alice etc...How can you not when they all perfectly blend in harmony together. I tried to ward of the boredom I still felt somewhere in between each of the books.

I eagerly waited for Ryan to come back from his Canada trip but Monday he was still jet lagged. Tuesday was my last day at work. Wednesday Ryan thought it's selfish to leave the baby considering her bad mood (she's sleepy as she woke up too early) Thursday he had a meeting. Friday more meetings. Saturday (I wasn't expecting it anymore but when I checked online) voila it was still showing! 1:40 PM showing yey! I bathed Iaree baby I also took a bath and dressed up. When we were about to leave Iaree who's separation tantrums I can count in one hand threw a fit. This time it was me who conceded.

Well...not all stories have happy endings so I just resigned to the fact that I'll just wait for the DVD of this. Browse through youtube for short clips. Convince myself that those who read the book did not enjoy it anyway.

While writing this I suddenly had a deja vu. I saw myself crying to my grandma in the living room because my aunt told me to go back home and not watch a movie with my friends when classes were cancelled. I was too honest to seek permission before going to the cinema then my honesty was paid off by a big big "NO!". I followed despite violent objections of my 10 girl friends, few of their boyfriends and some classmates who planned the impromptu movie date. I was really really disappointed and my lola was comforting me when I went home alone. Tomorrow is my lola's birthday. I hope she reaches out to me now and really comfort me. =( Now I'm missing her more than feeling sad not being able to watch a movie...or maybe both. Happy birthday lola!!And today should have been my lolo & lola's wedding anniversary...so wherever you both are -- I miss you so much & I love you!!I wish you can see my darling daughter!

Mixed emotions

2008-12-15T16:50:00.002+08:00

Its my last day tomorrow...

Ryan just came back...

For the first time in my life I will not work...

I will be a full time mom...

I have a bad case of Twilight hangover...I want all things Twilight and I want to infect others as well.

I still haven't watched the movie yet! Though I'm dying to see it...despite the expected disappointment that there are so many cut scenes in the movie due to Malaysia's censorship.

I am restraining myself to work surely these are last ounces of the workaholic in me.

I still haven't dealt with my brother, my mom & my father after my last words with them. Argh!

Let's wait and see...I can only held my breath as the story of my life unfolds.

Happy, scared, excited, anxious, very very eager to watch Twilight!Hay...back to the same old crazy me.

Twilight Fever

2008-12-06T14:48:00.006+08:00

It finally caught me. Like an infectious attack to all my friends I too was bit.

I would say after: working in a faraway province of Cyberjaya, barely having time to play with my daughter(let alone watch tv), plus the absence of my usual date who is off to Canada for a while, some would say I am a boring clueless hermit.

Everytime I see the buzz on my most of my friends's, blog, plurk and YM status I fought hard not to ask what the hell is Twilight. Clueless galore.

Finally on the first night of being alone, my daughter fast asleep I saw one of my college friend's status in YM that states - I don't just love you Edward Cullen you are my life. Knowing how much of a serial dater she was I seriously thought he was the latest flavor of the month. Until again of course she explained that he was the main character in Twilight. Interestingly, a former colleague, on the same night had this on her YM status - cheesy ew..or something like that about Twilight.

So that's how it all started. I was chating with both of them at the same time and boy do they have stong opposing views about Twilight except for one - they both told me the book was better. I thought it always is so let me be the judge. I started reading the first book courtesy of the ebook Donna sent me. As much as I wanted to move it to my mobile phone instead I read right there in the laptop.

Here goes:

I like the fact that Stephanie Meyer has artistically characterized the struggle of a vampire who fell in love with a human. All these started with his craving to feed on her blood after smelling her. It was utterly romantic when he was confessing this fact to Bella. The highest credit I would give to their very witty exchange of lines which caught my interest. It makes me sigh and miss Ryan much more - sweet, sardonic - "unconditionally & irrevocably" lovable.

However, the build up of the story was quite dragging and can be a little boring at some parts. Without the movie trailers (courtesy of you tube), it's hard to for imagine the contradiction of his beauty and gracefulness against a savage beast (well "civilized" anyway as per the Cullens way of living). Although it was meant well to further downplay the image of a vampire it was not easy to digest that the vampires avoid sunlight because they sparkle.

It was a good read but overall Christopher Pike books are still my favorite when it comes to narrating supernatural or thrillers mixed with romance.

So I'm on to the next-NEW MOON and so that I make sure the venom infects my dear hubby I have downloaded the antire audio book for him. His eyes cant handle the reading.

And well as for the movie I've set the date...better late than never.

Single mom

2008-11-29T14:51:00.002+08:00

My days of a single mom starts today =(...well at least for the next 2 weeks, whew!
Still two weeks seems like eternity especially for 8 years the longest I've been apart from Ryan would be 2 days when he would go back home to Pampanga (his hometown) for a weekend. Huhuhu.

I think little drama princess is feeling it too. She was awakened by the call of the airport limo who came to pick daddy up. Although she was alert & was laughing when I was putting her back to sleep she just suddenly stopped, her lower lip fell and all of a sudden her eyes were red. I asked her what's wrong and she ducked her head in the comforter for a few seconds when i pulled her up tears were streaming down her face. And she didn't make a sound. She just stared back at me.

Aiyooh Dad!We are missing you already!

Later we'll upload some pre-departure pics. FOr now sleepy ulit kme ni Iaree girl.

Troubled

2008-11-21T15:27:00.002+08:00

I keep on stirring in my chair...
I don't know if I want to work or bury myself in work.
It's Friday and I'm undecided if I should feel relieved or I should be pressured.
I am talking to myself out loud.

Suddenly JK bursts out you're troubled.
The word amused me so much that it went to my YM status, plurk and here.
I'm troubled with the fact that I dont have a single offer released this week..boss is going to kill me
I'm troubled that on the next 3 weekends Ryan will not be around and that I want to make the most out of this weekend
I'm troubled with someone
I guess to sum it all I'm just troubled hahaha! Good observation JK.

Your public identity

2008-11-19T10:24:00.003+08:00

Having this online sites like blogs, plurk & social networks where you post your pictures and videos are really cool.

I mean I dont have to spend on courier or post just to update my family about Iaree's latest milestones and her pictures. It's where you discover who got married had another baby even if that meant your 19 year old cousin who you tought was still a kid. Blogs are a great outlet for me to blow off some steam or narrate some events that I can't keep to myself. When they introduced this plurk thing I thought why not since I change my YM status so often anyway and it felt that it was like that. However, sometimes you want to speak to a certain audience and have a little privacy. Of course you wouldn't post anything you cant afford to reach someones ears especially when you write about someone.

I didn't bother before with this. In fact I had an experience long back when I was so mad with my officemate I couldn't tell anyone so I blogged it. I only found out that she read it when we made ammends..hahaha as in months & many blogs after!Now we're good friends as if it never happened and that was just a laughing matter for us now.

The other day in my plurk profile I started having fans errr...I was alarmed , I dont know these people..my friends and family I dont mind. Now I'm having second thoughts about all my online sites. Once I am a housewife and IF I find the time to sit on this maybe I will make some changes. For the meantime can someone please tell my why and how did I get followers in my plurk? Should I be horrified or something? If I remove them wouldn't that be rude and I can't stop them from reading it anyway...so how?

Freedom! Yey!

2008-11-12T10:19:00.003+08:00

It was only yesterday that my boss has conceded and finally accepted that I'm leaving. He did not do this because I was important part of the team but because it was indeed a crucial time for him. However it's also a crucial time for us so I stayed on my ground as much as I would want to exit gloriously and help the team out.

I technically resigned 3x. Sending him emails repeatedly that I am not withdrawing it. This morning in the car he simply said in admission wow on the 17th you suddenly free from it all doing nothing. As much as I can hardly wait for it I make the best out of my time here. It's amazing though when there's no pressure to win the race and have the top most number of closures for the month. Not to be scolded for not having enough CV's end of the day because without these pressure I'm doing quite well. Hehe.

Boss was being funny for the last time and giving me speeches about the finances. Uh hello knowing me I would've thought about that a million times before doing this so nope sorry no amount of pep talk could do that. I'm not saying that everything will be perfect but for now everything is so promising that I hardly have a reason to frown.

Ayos toh!

2008-11-03T17:29:00.002+08:00

Dowa: Candidate did you get a call from the interviewer already?
Candidate: Yes ma'am
Dowa: So how did it go?
Candidate: I think I did not get the job
Dowa: Why?
Candidate: Because I was not able to answer the technical questions like for Networking
Dowa:That's okay I'm sure you were able to answer some of the questions
Candidate: Uhh...yes I did.
Dowa: These are what kind of questions (hoping for a glimmer of hope)
Candidate: The yes or no questions

Dowa: Errr...(all hope crashes)

News Flash!

2008-11-03T14:23:00.003+08:00

I've been itching to tell this BIG BIG news since I did it but never had the time to do so. Why? because:
1. I did it before we left for the Philippines
2. Vacationed in the Phils and cant get an internet connection at home
3. Came back of course with tons of work
4. Came back to work and surprise they moved to another office (as far as makati - Sta. Rosa)
5. Busy with work and repeatedly doing it over and over (this one is record breaking)

I HAVE RESIGNED!!

I will soon be a stay-at-home mom. Maybe I will have to change to another blog or maybe not for all I know The Wonder Woman title fits a full time mom the best.

For as long as we have decided this (likes as in months and months ago) it was hard for me to be silent about it. Nobody understood of course (for those I have informed) but despite my friends teasing that I can't do it (as in really give up working) I know they knew I will go for it and my REAL friends will really support me. In fact the first time I told my bestfriend she instantly said I believe you can but I wonder for how long. When I had uncertainties by guy bestfriend said he knows I can do it. Lastly my supportive husband never pushed it but he reasoned with me all the time and told me that whatever I decide on he's on my side. So I guess with all the sense left in me it was only right to do this.

Considering the economic crisis and all, how ambitious I am with my career, our future plans I still believe this is the best choice not only for my family but personally this is something that I need.

It may be for a lot of reasons but most of all having to give up something I had to make sure I can stand for it and I am happy with it. Then the answer I found deep down inside well actually during my reflections while talking to Rem about being a working mom. She being one too and since she knows me for almost my entire life. I realize I have stretched myself too much, I feel that I am not good at anything anymore either at work or being a mom or a wife. My self esteem hit low as a result. Our profession screams for dedication which is now a luxury for me and as much as I was considered for a promotion accepting it will compromise my time with my family. Each night when I close my eyes it's eating me inside. That's when I knew I can't do the juggling act anymore...or at least for now. =)

This is the most liberating thing I have done. I have feared it, waited for it now I'm just too excited about it!!!

My little drama queen

2008-10-29T10:54:00.003+08:00

As much as Ryan hates to scold Iaree she is not listening to me last night when she was reaching for the stuff in the bedside table. So for more impact I told Ryan, as he was the only block to it, to scold Iaree.

Of course she cried a lot so while trying to comfort her she asked for dede from mommy. She has calmed down so I told the very guilty daddy to comfort her para bati na sila...so Ryan was smoothing her hair and kissing her too. Then out of the blue she was crying again. Hahaha as in this was the part I cant hold my laughter. She was also pushing Ryan away even when he tried to hug her she gently kicked him. Slow one with no intention of really hurting him and then tears were streaming down her face again as she countinued holding on to me. I was not expecting her to be such a drama queen.

When she stopped crying again. I explained to her that daddy scolded you because it was time to sleep and you still wanted to play. Then I told her we love daddy and daddy loves you. She suddenly got up and tapped Ryan who was already feeling really really bad and really angry at me for laughing still and his back was turned away from us. She tapped Ryan and said softly "dada! dada!" then Iaree & daddy hugged and kissed.

Hahaha!What a sight and what a scene! She finally slept after that.

Thoughts about work

2008-10-14T10:08:00.003+08:00

Ever worked in a place where a lot of people genuinely likes you? As in like you without needing anything from you or despite you not hanging out with them often? Where the only people who loathe you are those who envy you and maybe once in a while your boss who wants to strangle you for not living up to his expectations?

Well I do..working at the HR department could deprive you of this. While I do have good and real friends each company I join the employee population in general would be cursing you for something that management have decided to do or not do which you are merely executing. Maybe that's the reason I picked my favorite responsibility in HR and pursued that instead. Voila! Here I am experiencing things I never thought would be possible. Then again at the expense of doing very routinary task else if you want to make a change it would be something unfamiliar that would make you sweat blood before you can complete it. Then even the routinary task would make you bleed when you have a handful of candidates ready to join then they all back out. Tell me was it your fault then? Are you not working hard enough? When everyday you manage to line up at least 5 people from an almost barren market and still they fail miserably in the interviews.

It's a vicious cycle of sourcing, scheduling for interview releasing offer then backing out anytime in the process that made me think what is it that I enjoy doing the most? Is it HR work or recruitment job?

I once read an article that says companies should re-examine their managers for the high turnovers in the company. Could your manager really put a lot of weight in your decision? For me I guess not but it sure helps you be a little more productive at work when the person you are reporting to values your work and is in tune with why you can accomplish anything. He or she may not give you the answer as to how to solve the problem but he or she would be willing to work it out with you.

It's crazy that 2 days before our vacation I'm going nuts in my job. Go figure I was supposed to have 6-7 candidates this month who will join and I might be left with 2. With my best efforts I might manage to add 2-3 more before I take a long vacation. Not to mention I had a shot on doing another requirement not normally in my list then the candidate is about the quit. Giving a job to someone is not fun anymore if its like this. I love recruitment because I feel that I help out people in redeeming themselves and getting their careers on track by giving them a new job that either pays well or gives better exposure in their field. But man does it most of the time boil down to money talk! If and when it comes to this can you say that its your incompetency? In HR you excel when you handle situations gracefully, tactfully and professionally despite the adversities. It takes a while for people to see through you before you make friends. In recruitment it all about the numbers that you make each month, rat race? that's for sure.

excited!excited!excited!

2008-10-10T15:18:00.003+08:00

Yey! we got our OEC's already (the certificate so we wont have to pay travel tax in the airport an exemption of OFW's). Uwing uwi na kme!

We'll I'm excited coz we have so many plans and kahit Tagaytay lng ang mararating namin for now it's good enough for me coz I know Tagaytay is a food haven for a lot of dishes I've been craving for! And it will be our 4th year na...no fancy gifts this year we said we'll save it from the 5th hahaha well actually magastos kseng umuwi. Kurips pala hahaha! Sana makapagbeach naman next time.

I'm also excited because it's easier to travel baby iaree around at least I dont need to breast feed her every 3 hours when it's not so convenient in the Philippine malls. Plus we dont have to carry her around all the time err...the negative side though is if she wants to she's a bit heavy to carry now and she doesnt fit the baby carrier anymore =(

I hope hope hope I have time to meet friends but I dont want to exhaust Iaree too much and depriving her of her afternoon naps. Let's see.

And and and...I can't wait to shop and shop and shop!My budget is set and my shopping buddy well trained...soon all we will need from daddy is his driving skills and credit card. Hahaha! Peace mahal!

Napika

2008-10-06T11:45:00.003+08:00

Saturday was not my day.

I was so looking forward to the weekend right? In fact I started washing clothes early and as promised I started working from home. But that was not enough for my boss and junior boss. Despite sucessfully getting around 15 profiles they still insisted I go to office to call. Hmmm...it was really impractical for me to do that as we are not paid to work on weekends and I'd really love to spend time at home with baby & hubby. But they relentlessly bugged me and saying unecessary words (as if you are paid) that I just want to shut them up. I went in submission to their nagging.

I did not talk to a single person in the office. Despite them talking to me.

After that Ryan and I had a row after shopping for some stuff (this one has major guilt combined as it was my fault). But boy was I feeling sooo sooo low. And that too, Iaree was so sleepy when we arrived that I lost a day spent with her. Oh well...there are rainy days and there are bad bad days which felt like there's no end.

But today is Monday and I took a dose of positivity with me. No grudges except that junior boss is taking it to heart that I did not talk to them last Saturday. Hehehe what's a pissed off girl got to do? And Sunday was a better day, we heard mass at a new church with a better sermon (no politics included) and shorter too. I was able to pick fresh fruits from the night market. I managed to organize the clothes - gee am I getting fulfilled lately in arranging stuff? And plenty plenty of play time with Iaree. Plus pending shows to watch with Ryan =)

Selamat Hari Raya!!

2008-10-03T14:44:00.004+08:00

Isn't holidays so much fun??! It need not be grand or anything (but of course if you have the money to splurge why not). End of Ramadhan so two days staying at home did it for me. Not to mention that today's a Friday so apart from the hardly filled streets and office a lot of people are just in the laze around mood.

As hard as I try not to it's just so easy to fall into the lazy mode at work. Hahaha. All that boss can do is tease me all day long and shake his head. Pity but not working. Hahaha!

I learned a few more things about Iaree baby:

- Morning siesta for her once she sees her milk bottle she would look for a position in her play mat to lie down. (I dont get to see this since if I am around she wants to feed from mommy directly)

- She is very observant of how I would react to her. After persistenly asking dede from me and I standing firm that she should have her dinner first she screamed and I just looked at her (with a not so mad face, more like what was that for?) and she tried being sweet (still repeatedly saying - dede), hugging me, making beautiful eyes, and begging (changing the tone of her voice). Daddy finally demanded that once she does the sweet and smiley thing again to reward her so she would know that's the proper way to ask.

- She giggles a lot when we jump but it's a very tiring entertainment I was out of breathe. Hahaha.

That's it basically, oh and as part of rearranging the room we decluttered to make more room in the drawers and cabinets. Next project: making a backup of all photos & files from our already full external HD's.

To all my muslim friends and colleagues hope you had a great time in your Kampung!!Selamat Hari Raya!

rearranged

2008-09-29T11:09:00.003+08:00

Until now I never had the chance to freely remodel/rearrange our house/room. Our house in Laguna is so small with plenty of clutter and in Makati it's simply a lot of clutter. Which is why I am so excited even if we are just renting out this place in KL. Having Ikea here is not a big help, I cant help to get my hands on a lot of house stuff (decors, innovative and functional furnitures) which is so deliciously inviting to put in the house. And we discovered this furniture shop that sells a 3 seater sofa / lazy boy with 1 single lazy boy (so total of 2) - it may not be the lazy boy brand but they also provide a reasonable warranty for such a low price of less than PHP20K (converted amount). And of course there's the all so cheap LCD TV's...arrgh!

If only I.S. for Iaree is affordable here and we can easily switch jobs we'd really settle here. Hahaaha all because of Ikea, lazy boy, minimal traffic and affordable flight back to the Phil.

I got too carried away I strayed from my intended topic...

Anyway, since we have a new housemate we had to remove all our things from the spare room and we ended up with nowhere to put our things. Luckily I got Mister Weekend mode to help me out and rearrange the room. He was so brilliant in planning it out our room turned out to be very very spacious. It was so refreshing! When we asked baby Iaree if she liked it we got two nods of approval. I cant help to have our own place and start buying our furnitures where Ryan will not stop me and say is that easy to ship out?

An evening full of Hugs & Kisses

2008-09-19T09:59:00.002+08:00

Sweet, cuddly and cute!

Every night if Iaree is still playful and not yet sleepy we sing songs together (she can follow the actions of Twinkle Twinkle & Row Row Row your boat). I also love tickling her and she loves being tickled as well she will give me her feet and neck for more...and she knows how the say "Tickle" too..or sounds like it.

When I tell her "I LOVE YOU!" -- the you part I tickle her tummy and last night she will stop me from tickling her by hugging me while I'm lying down. Super sweet! And I keep on repeating this so I will get endless hugs & I can shower her with kisses!

We were also full of delight when she said "Tu ko dede" (I want milk) her first complete sentence. Although its in Tagalog because I think here and there lola talks to her in Tagalog orshe hears us talking in Tagalog. =)

Some of Iaree's words for the month:
- Car
- Think (from My friends Tiger & Pooh song)
- Tickle
- Pat (from Little Einsteins)
...and mama said she can count up to three this I have yet to hear =)

Belief is the ignition key that gets you off the launching pad

2008-09-17T11:54:00.004+08:00

I was talking to one of my closest friend last month and what he told me still lingers in my mind...

"There are so many things you never imagined will and can happen to you before but now you are living it right? I have no doubt that you can do whatever you set your heart in doing"

Days after that an ex-colleague (I forgot what our conversation was about) told me..."Ikaw pa kayang-kaya mo yan!"

I'm not losing confidence in myself or something nor was I asking for a motivation but they gave me such encouraging words that sometimes just the thought of it gets me through a tough day. On the other side if I do fail in my attempts it's so comforting to know that I have a supportive husband who sees past my mistake and believes that I can correct that or do better next time.

Most of the time we give up too easily or we don't believe in ourselves enough that we never try. There's no harm in having big dreams it's the thought of getting there makes some people cringe in fear and never indulge in the rocky pursuit.

Cheers! Here's to all my friends who are in pursuit of something, in the crossroads and most of all those who always believe in me and support me all the way. There are some days that I'm just a lucky lucky girl!

The week that mommy went out too much

2008-09-15T10:57:00.005+08:00

Before we got married I remember telling Ryan that since he's not as sociable as I am I hope he wont stop me from going out with my friends once we were married. He kept his end of the bargain but there's no negotiating when you are a mom. Wonder Woman powers won't just work...

Wednesday night: Buka Puasa buffet / Farewell dinner for Linda - went home 10 PM.
- Iaree not asleep but was very sleepy when I took her from mama. And I cant put into words the delight on her face when she saw me. I haven't picked her up from bed yet she was waving goodbye to mama already. So adorable!

Friday night: Boss made a mandatory team night out - went home 11 PM
- Mama wanted to go out so I took them with me but not in the billiard hall nor in the bowling lanes so we were still apart =( and she was too sleepy when we got home

Saturday: We had to work then I went home took a nap then they were calling me again coz we had an office bowling tournament. I thought we will start early but turns out we had to wait for others...I was hardly home the whole day =( and I finished 8 PM

Though I made sure I make up for the time I was away, it's just different going out this time. Ryan said it's still okay to go out but I had too much for this week..I can do it but not over do it. Sooo true! Especially when Saturday afternoon Iaree started walking without support and I wasa few hours from missing it..sigh...good thing I was when she walked backwards and I managed to capture the moment too!

About me...lately

2008-09-10T11:33:00.006+08:00

Well to start with my hair is an inch away for me to grow scales and be a mermaid. Arrgh!I'm so scared of going to a salon here where I'll have difficulty explaining to them what I want and they will have difficulty understanding it. End product murdered hair. No way!! So until then my hair is plain old boring and long...Or maybe I can audition for a ghost lady role! Arrrghh kainis tlga!!
***
Something's cooking and I can hardly wait. My lips are sealed for now except for a few close friends who already know about it.

***
I'm so active with my multiply & friendster...well multiply I frequently update friendster I frequently log in. After uploading the pictures in Ryan's profile I will not bother uploading in mine...it's so difficult as compared to multiply. So if you're in my friendster but not in my multiply sorry for you there are more private photos shared for my network there.
***
Unti-unti nang nalalagas ang tao dito sa Emerio especially my friends over my almost 2 years of stay here. Haay. Oh well people come and go.
***
Miss ko na ang Pinas but most of all I miss my family and friends back there!!I miss going out and having fun with them!But I thank God I dont have to miss having fun with Ryan and Iaree everyday especially weekends like most married couple where one is working overseas or something.
***
Weekends if it's sunny outside my hope for having a fair skin falters...Iaree is so addicted to swimming. Minsan even on weekdays if we go home early and take her out to the playground she pulls us to the direction of the pool. Ang lamig kaya! Gusto pa mag-night swimming.

Dokee, Ramm & Angelo's Trip to KL

2008-07-21T11:47:00.001+08:00

Masaya na nakakapagod!

But I'm glad we had them to celebrate our Princess 1st birthday!! :)

My brother was supposed to join them but that's another story.

Day One:

Welll...my boss did not allow me to take a leave as early as Wednesday. Kamusta naman buti pa si Ryan pinayagan. Not even halfday grabe but then he told me I can leave at 4 PM. So we managed to rush to Orchid garden. Bird park dapat kaso parang nag second thought kme coz it was RM 27 per head parang ummm...just to see the birds so never mind. Hahaha nag-kuripot. Then we went to Petronas syempre. We enjoyed taking pictures...lots & lots of it. Na-disappoint lng me kse sa dinami dami eh low res pala naka set ung cam ni Dokee at ung cam namin na-lo bat at isa lng ang family pic naming tatlo nila kme nila baby & Ryan na-block pa yun mukha ko..hmmm...

We also celebrated in advance Iaree's birthday because we made plans for the next day. So blow kme ng candles sa super sarap nya ice cream cake care of Baskin & Robbins.

Before nga pala nila ako sinundo sa office my cousins attacked our swimming pool with Baby iaree of course..

Day Two:

Our Genting trip.

Iaree's birthday!

Ang saya!!

Kaso....super baba ng fog all the outdoor rides were closed exactly before our first ride. As in pasakay na kme pina-atras kme. Hmmm...But we still had a great time kulitan galore kahit super corny ng indoor rides. Well at least pwede si Iaree sa indoor rides. After all it was her day.

Day Three:

Aba super shopping galore sila. They all went to Central Market & Chinatown 12:00 nn 5:00 na nagpasundo...hahahaha!

Day Four:

Iaree's official party. Just a simple one. Nakakapagod ha in fairness kahit konti lng niluto namin ngayon lng ako super hands on sa party na walang maid. Huhuhuu...Ni make up di ko nagawa. At di ko na din na-asikaso na mapicture-an ng matino ung party. Oh well. Objective met. Iaree went for a swim and celebrated it. When she grows up I have pictures to share with her on her 1st birthday. Grand party na lng when she turns 7 and 18 or 16 depending on where we are that time.

Day Five:

Shopping ever pa din! Hahaha...parang ang yaman yaman ni Dokee puro shopping ang ginawa. =) No wonder we were exhausted. Hehehe...

I miss being with my family it was really great to have them here. I'll repost this with pictures next time. For now I want to go home early and play with Baby Iaree. Byeeeee!

1 YR OLD GIRL

2008-06-30T15:20:00.002+08:00

She's turning ONE!! I'm so excited!!

In her first year we are happy that she only fell twice on the bed and broke her collar bone once. Now it's growing back.

She only got sick twice a little flu & a little fever. I know I sound nonchalant but first time parents were way too worried when it all happened. =) When she fell from the bed mother's day got cancelled it was like a worst worst gloomy day for daddy & mommy.

Happy happy notes:

~On her 2nd day she can already smile involuntarily and voluntarily on her 3rd month. Laughs very heartily we love love love her laugh! It's so easy to make her laugh and she hardly cries she only cries when she's terribly terribly hungry, normal hungry she will not cry, or got hurt, like only when really neccesary. Other than that she is not a fussy baby.

~On her 2nd week she was lifting her head from the bed (we were freaked out actually) then trying to roll over around 3rd month

~During her first few weeks she refers to me as - Geeeee! and Ryan - Oooohhh! hehehe but she lost that somewhere 3rd month. Now when Ryan teaches her to say "dadada-dy" she answers back "mmmamamama" hahahaha! She tries calling us sometimes actually but her first clear communication attempt was inside the plane going to Terengannu. She wanted to nurse from me but I was waiting for the take off and since she was not a cry baby all she did ...mamamama...then she was making small "come here" hand gestures pointing to my boobs. Hahaha and then it became two small cute hands so we didnt wait for the take off anymore. She was getting hungry. =D Before that she has her own way of telling us how to be carried or she wants to go out by making noises or her body language. But that was the first hand signal that she did and now her bag of tricks have more!

~2 months back she can follow simple instructions. Like give that to mommy or daddy. Pick that up, wear this. She knows how to follow routine because I wash her up before going to sleep and one time daddy had to do it I forgot to tell him I refilled a different bottle for Iaree's soap she was reaching it and giving it to daddy then I told Ryan he asked me "Have you been using that for quite some time?Because it looks like she knows" I said I did about 2 days back only.

~We're happy too with her motor skills sitting at 3rd-4th month (we were scared of this) actually attempts to raise herself started as early as her 2nd month. 7 months she started standing up on her own in the bed or in her playpen. Started taking steps a few weeks later...If she didn't fall from the bed we think she'd have the confidence to walk on her own now but she's a bit scared pa and holds on to our hand pero in the playpen or in bed confident naman wobbly still but confident na.

~She loves swimming we started her on her 7.5 month and short quick swim lang but it's difficult to get her out of the water. Similar case during all her bath time.

~Story telling time before she sleeps is also something to look forward to in fact everytime she holds a book she babbles and as if she pretends to read the book. Hhehe..

~ Mama taught her some dance steps to an old song and ang galing she knows what's next I think she was about 6 mos old.

Dokee, Reu , Ramm & Angelo was supposed to be her for her party. Their plan pushed through minus lazy Reu who only applied for a passport 1 week before the trip. Maybe we'll throw her na din a simple birthday party so that she'll have party pictures to check out when she grows up. Since she wont appreciate it pa naman we'll make it a pool party para she swim while our visitors feasts on mommy's dishes. =)

Naglalaway...nangangarap...

2008-06-17T23:12:00.002+08:00

ASUS P750

most of all NAGIIPON!!

Hay candidates please stop na magbackout...kelangan nang i-retire ang 3 yrs old na O2 sakit sa ulo ng radiation eh.

At home & sick

2008-06-13T09:30:00.002+08:00

I'm at home & I'm sick. I guess I've told the world about that pretty well with my YM status yesterday. Poor baby mommy can't carry her and if only she can sleep without me I would've moved to the other room and slept there. We tried but she really can't fall asleep without breastfeeding. Now she's still deep in slumber I turned the room into an internet cafe...hahaha!I just realized that there are missing pictures in my HD and it's still in Ryan's notebook. Then I started work so I can send to my teammates my candidates CV's para maipila sila for interview...then I'm using my own notebook for leisure while doing so...hahaha!Ryan will be out in a while to take me to the nearby clinic.

Naaliw naman ako sa boss ko na a few months back eh kaaway ko galore. He was already expecting it na magle-leave ako iuwi ko ba naman ang notebook ko na lagi ko naman iniiwan sabi ni Ryan kahapon pag sakay ko sa kotse hahaha!Tapos promise I didn't hear what he was asking this morning when I called in sick..kinakamusta pala nya ung status ng isang position na hawak ko eh sagot ko "I'm having a fever already".Tapos tawa ng tawa..sabi nya "When I ask about the OS position your answer is your having a fever..."Hahahah ok fine natawa din ako then I added yah that's my answer to his question hahahaa! Wala kasi akong candidate naalala ko...hahaha! Ang kulet...haay itong si amo tlga ok sana eh enjoy nga ako sa work ko kung di lng ako naiinis sa kanya minsan errr madalas (?) or sa candidates or sa ibang tao who effortlessly makes my life miserable at work or sa budgets..other than that I love my job! =)

My review on Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

2008-06-04T13:35:00.002+08:00

ANG GWAPOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
Super!!!Ay teka sorry what was the story about?!Well titigan n lng sya wag n lng sya magsalita di ko type eh..hehe.

Lastest movie I saw since Harry Potter hirap manood with a little baby.

Mahusay moments!

2008-03-31T10:24:00.003+08:00

Grocery time is Ryan's baby duty to carry but his shirt is still wet from the spilled miso soup so I took over in carrying Iaree. Mama was pushing the grocery cart and I'm supposed to push the stroller.

I placed my big baby bag in her stroller and was checking out some pans pero dahil may kasalubong ako pinark ko ung stroller sa isang side. After 6+ lanes in the massive Carrefour...

Dowa: Mama!Asan ung stroller???!!
Mama: Aba malay ko sa iyo ikaw kaya nagtutulak nun?!

(Panic galore!In my 1 inch heeled sandals, skinny jeans baby in the carrying pouch tinakbo ko pabalik coz I remember exactly where I left it!!)I ran into Ryan who didn't accompany us coz he was checking out the car waxes and was on his way to the DVD's.

The stroller was still there but the bag was missing!!!!!!!And Ryan also gave me his cellphone!!And all my cards are there!!!!!!!!!I made a mad dash to go to the security guard and alert everyone. (Mega explain as they are not so good in English) Then I saw mama calmly approaching us but worried as she saw me already hyped up explaining my best to the security guard.

Mama: Bakit? Anong nangyari?
Dowa: Nakita namin ung stroller pero wala na ung bag!!
Mama: Huh? Ito sa akin oh...

Ok fine!Whew! That gave mister security guard a break from the effort of understanding me too!

Ryan was patting my back and trying to relax me after, I know he's trying to control his laughter. Mama was even trying to explain when she got the bag...when I wasn't paying attention to it she decided to get it from me. Even worst if a thief took my bag before that.

Resuming where we left off after 2 more lanes naiwan ko na naman ang stroller. We realized it after 4 lanes. Sabi ni Ryan o nasan na naman ang stroller??! So sabay kami binalikan n naman namin...

Ryan shaking his head he told me, "If the baby was there it should have been crying by now...mommy daddy?Where are you??!!" I decided it's best to take over the grocery cart mama was even hesitant on giving me back my bag.

Patience...where to buy some please???

2008-03-24T16:28:00.003+08:00

I love my job right now only reason I'm still here.
I enjoy the challenge of finding people and placing them on a new company with a promise of a new career.

But sometimes the challenges are just too much. Sometimes its so beyond me I want to scream and strangle the candidate PROMISE!!!!!!! Ang titigas ng ulo. I dont want to write the exact incident here maybe some other time pag hindi na under surveilance lahat ng online sites ko. I just hope people moreso Filipino's can be more professional in applying for a job. We are world class workers and trust me we have so many requirements that says - FILIPINOS preferred or FILIPINOS only. Imagine that?

Hope the candidates would keep their word and honor their commitment coz they're very lucky that our company spends for everything and they put no risk in applying for an overseas job with us. Sadly ung gustong gustong umalis di magaka-chance and those who have just throw it away like that.

Anyway, shameless plug however wants to get into a roller coaster job like ours are free to send their resume to me. We need 5 more members in the team if I'm lucky enough I get to lead the team but at this rate with my candidates I'm having doubts... =( They are making me and the Filipino candidates in general in such a bad light! Grrrrrrr...

Girl power

2008-03-12T10:22:00.002+08:00

I was never good at asserting myself. Although that statement seem unbelievable especially for people who just know me on the surface but really when someone scolds me or tells me off I'm not good in fighting back. That's why most of my friends & loved ones always think of me as a cry baby. The truth is I get so mad inside that I can't verbalize, hence, the river of tears after something totally maddening. That also explains why in one of my previous employment I cry almost every week! How pathetic right?

Yesterday was a pretty normal stressful day. However my boss started scolding me for something that I didn't do or have no control anymore. It will be reasonable for him to scold me if I didn't do my job in pushing the other managers to make things happen but the thing is he was there when he heard me talk to our Operations Manager. Still he nagged about about not pushing them too hard. I was like huh?? Then at someone at home(name withheld for obvious reason) snapped at me again for something that is not my fault.

Good thing, a moment worthy of blog moments, I was able to practice a little girl power and didn't shed a single tear yesterday. Boss sent me a text message saying sorry & explaining himself. Whoa! Hahaha! Super proud moment! Then the person who snapped at me admitted his fault after I argued very well like a lawyer...hehehe the-name-withheld-person thinks I must be getting this from watching 2 episodes of Ally McBeal a day.

Yey!Yey!Yey!

2008-03-10T10:32:00.004+08:00

I finally have my own boxset of Ally McBeal!!
One of my favorite shows ever!
As quirky as the characters of the show are Ally is so easy to relate to especially during my college days. Nuff said =)

And since I'm such a huge fan of Calista, Brothers & Sisters got me hooked...now this is dysfunctionally fun and heartwarming!

The time is NOW. The place is Malaysia

2008-03-07T23:22:00.003+08:00

Quick! I tell myself feeling like a fugitive being chased as I hurry to type down my thoughts...ecstatic, as after a few months I am again attempting (hoping) I finish an entry in my almost nonexsistent blog. Ryan already called me a few minutes ago and it's only a matter of time before the baby wails and the daddy calls. Already missed out so many things I wanted to write down. Like Iaree's delightful milestones, my record breaking almost nervous breakdown in the office that only took place after more than a year as compared to my previous employments, my simple yet lovely & memorable birthday, some of my new kitchen triumphs, shopping finds, blah blah blah...you get the picture! To say that A LOT has happened is an understatement.

What I actually wanted to blog about today is how happy I am!Borrowing the tourism tagline of Malaysia just because I also feel that it's appropriate to our current state in life. There are so many things that is happening with our life. Some challenges too but counting the blessings makes it worthwhile. Of course on top of the list is our wonderful baby Iaree who we cant get enough of!! Another thing is how progressive Ryan's career have been since we got here. And after more than a year of being here in Malaysia I find myself (finally!) researching for possible intenerary of our Holy Week vacation in Melaka. It's so exciting! =) A family weekend getaway...

I feel that Malaysia really is the start of something new for us preparing us for bigger things we are aiming in life.

********
Check out our sweet baby and how fast she has grown up

Done with the festivities at home

2007-12-31T13:47:00.000+08:00

Thank you God for our safe trip! We are back in KL today reached the house at around 3:30 AM. The flight was smooth and Iaree was like a pro in the plane sleeping beauty & no crying at all!! Di na rin ako masyadong nangalay like the first time. =) Nasanay na...naka-isang episode pa nga kami ni Ryan ng Heroes tapos natulog na ako he continued watching. I love my new travel pillow!

My mind is not functioning well now so expect the random inconsistent thoughts -- considering my vacation hangover & lack of sleep.

I really enjoyed being with Ryan & Iaree all the time ang saya na lagi kmeng magkasama!! I hope mama & Ryan are not having difficulty feeding her from the bottle the entire two weeks she was feeding directly from me.

As I was venting in my previous entry the vacation was not so awesome. It was great but less than what I expected. Thing is I planned so much about this trip and had high hopes that we had a car to drive around to fulfill these plans. Sadly it was not the case when we were there. In fact I felt sooo bad that we only went to visit Ryan's family once. Most of our stay I was sulking. Since I can't bring our baby out without a car and I cant leave her because we dont have stored milk so I didn't bother calling my friends. =( I felt that I will miss them more if I do and I would want to really see them. Sorry my dear friends. Bad I know but maybe, hopefully when I go back with Iaree a little bigger and not as delicate to handle my social life will improve.

On the brighter side of things, EVERYONE was so happy with Iaree!Nakakataba ng puso to see how happy Ryan's parents are with her. =) She's so beautiful daw and very cheerful eh kamukhang kamukha kaya ni Ryan?! I have yet to find out if they will say the same if the baby looks like me baka kse love their own lang sila..hahaha!Joke joke!!My family can't get enough of Iaree as well. They love carrying her around. =) What a relief to my mom... =)It's been a while since may baby in my side of the family alam nyo naman ang tipid namin at ang lalaki ng gap. So Iaree's uncles (Ramm & Angelo) ay elementary pa lng pero pa-bless ng pa-bless kay Iaree hahahaa! Ang kulit!

We also went for her ear piercing and she looks even prettier with her ear pierced!Mas mukha na syang girl. She also have plenty of clothes thanks to the gifts and hardly used hand-me downs. Ang gaganda kaka-aliw!Like what my papa said para akong may baby doll.

Tonight is new year's eve. I'm working but I'm supposed to be preparing the media noche like what I traditionally do back home. Kinakareer ko ang table spread namin habang kinakareer ni mama ang 13 round fruits. =) Reu will be celebrating NY alone in Binan & Dokee in Delpan. =( I look forward to a new year naman next time with the entire family. Next time deadma na sa 28% tax!If we still choose to celebrate Christmas in Pinas that is. Maybe if we do dapat kaya nang mag-commute ni Iaree! Hahahaha!And one more thing ang gastos umuwi ng pasko sa Pinas!!The verdict of our vacation despite the unfulfilled plans it was a blast! Because for me Christmas will always be about the family and being with them and that's what we did..it was a great Christmas eve with my family & fun Christmas day with Ryan's family. It's wasn't grand or anything but Iaree surely made all our Christmas extra extra special!

Happy new year everyone!!!

home again home again!

2007-12-22T21:08:00.000+08:00

As the old adage goes..there's no place like home! So why leave in the first place?

You all know about this much awaited trip of ours apart from Christmas it will also be Iaree's Christening. Last Christmas it felt like a sad Christmas day for me as Christmas was not the highlighted event in Malaysia. Yes they do decorate the malls lavishly I would say even somehow grander than the indoor decors of the malls in the Phils but the spirit is just not there. So since this Christmas is very very special because it's Iaree's 1st Christmas it only felt appropriate to bring her to the Philippines to celebrate with the whole family.

Prior to the week before we left KL my schedule was crazzzzzzzyy to the nth power! This was because of our Indonesia hiring requirement. Ryan was so eager to finish all his RCA's (work requirement as well) so that our vacation will be work-free. (My boss should better not be reading this..hahaha) That same week we got sick, Ryan was coughing the next day he had a bit of a cold then Iaree got a fever, then it was my turn next was mama. (Disclaimer: Ryan did not start the bug at home, I should say this for the sake of our marriage that it was environmental..hahaha!peace mahal!) Anyway my flu got so bad that I badly need a rest come Friday ironically duty called a candidate for an urgent requirement was selected and I had to roll out the offer the same day. I asked permission from my boss to take a half day although he teasingly approved it I still got stuck with the office work & left at around 6PM. So much for the rest...Saturday of course was last minute shopping & packing. Sunday we almost got left by the last trip of the bus going to the airport because we wont fit in one cab I told Ryan to take us to KL Sentral Station then he will go back, park the car & take a cab. This is feasible if we left early...hehehe!I think I lost about 5 lbs by walking back and forth to where Ryan dropped us to the bus terminal and the elevator wasn't working!!I begged the dispatcher, driver and everyone from the bus line to wait for us as it was about to leave in 5 mins when I got there. So I shuttled back & forth pushing & carrying our 40kgs luggages from point A to point B. I did that twice and thank you they had guys who help carrying the luggage down the stairs hello!!Otherwise I wont be here. When I finally loaded everything, Ryan got there it was 15 mins past their time to leave KL Sentral I was out of breath and my throat was sooooooooo dry!

In the bus (a first for Iaree) Iaree was sooo talkative and was squeeling even when the lights were off. She was happily responding to the lady sitting next to us (a kababayan but was talking to Iaree in English as she heard us speak only English to her). She was such a delight! So sociable and responsive. =) What I was scared of was the plane ride which we managed with a little crying at first as she was really starving & sleepy (eh sabi ni Dr. Eric dapat sucking while take off eh...hehehe gutom na pero pinigilan kong i-BF so nagwawala na). The rest of the flight she was sleeping (while the other children was in haywire!screaming and crying fest itoo but our pretty angel was sleeping peacefully frowning once in a while with the high pitched screams of the other babies), my back & butt was in so much pain!! =( waaah ganyan tlga pag budget planes huhuhu.

We are still in the middle of our vacation. Trying as much as possible to enjoy our stay here but encountering a lot of problems already. To say problems is an understatement. It's not that we are running away from these problems but Philippines itself looks pretty gloomy as well. =( Just to settle the argument in my opening statement. I hope things turn a bit better. Will I manage to tell the story later...that is if I'm not too busy! Meanwhile let me post my sweet baby's Baptismal pictures in multiply. Ryan & I enjoyed it a lot despite of... =) I really love my husband & my baby sooo much!!! To our sweet baby WELCOME TO THE CHRISTIAN WORLD! May we be good parents to you always!

Hungry baby

2007-11-23T14:57:00.000+08:00

IAREE: Mommy I'm hungry please go home!!!
(Picture taken by Ryan, "feeling" stay-at-home-dad = reality:unpredictable working sched dad)

Milk for the cat

2007-11-12T17:09:00.000+08:00

A manager walked up to me while I was labelling the breast milk for Iaree "oh how cute you label your milk for your cat right?". Nyahaha! Okay fine the other day I was calling Iaree a cat while she was crying...

During an important meeting my boss wants to convene again after 15 mins. "Guys please lets meet again in 15 mins. Don't go for restroom break, no smoking sessions, no early lunch and no milking please..." Hahaha!Thus it was coined in the office that everytime I go to the server room I am milking. Umm humm so now I am a cow.

I usually "milk" in peace in the server room as no one holds the key to it except for our network administrators (who I borrow the key from). Since our Country Manager got back he frequents the server room. I realized he has a duplicate key so I always inform my colleague sitting next to the server room to watch the door for me. Thankfully no walk-in incident ever happened because of this. Last Friday was the day after Deepavali celebration and my colleague was on leave. I was so confident that our Country Manager was busy, our network was fine and plus I thought I dont usually take longer than 10 mins anyway so I did not inform anyone but my seatmates know I went for milking. Yes you can already guess the next thing...he walked in!!!But my back was turned away from the door and the lock is very noisy so before he even did I already screamed to warn him. Instinctively I wanted to shout "may tao!" but I cant right? Anyway as I went out everyone was horrified with the incident. (Please note I'm in a muslim / conservative country can you imagine their horror!!). We were all laughing about it....our country manager was so embarrassed and we think he is too traumatized to go in the server room now. HR made me a sign to use everytime I had to express milk...now it's a classic story that everyone jokes about.Hmmm...

~~~~~~***~~~~~~~~~~~~~***~~~~~~~~~***~~~~~~~~~~~~~***~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Breastfeeding is such a task for working moms and I am proud to say that Iaree at 4 mos exclusive feeds only with BM. Whew! Very healthy for her and economical for us. It just that BF is more common in the Phils than here kaya naman amazed na amazed sila sa akin palagi..hehehe.BF is a choice I had even before I got pregnant and I am determined to BF Iaree the longest I can. =)Thanks to my friends from the Phils, who have expereienced the same, for the unending support and encouragement!

Remembering my departed loved ones from afar...

2007-11-09T10:24:00.000+08:00

Sure I've talked about missing a lot of holidays in the Phils because my family always did something special for all occassions. Not to mention the very long weekend in the Phils -- while here Ryan & I worked like horses in those 2 days.

Not to celebrate all saints day & all souls day will leave an empty void in me so with the support of my mom & Ryan after having dinner last Nov 1 we set up our own altar with candles & flowers for our departed loved ones. Said our prayers for the intention of the soul of lola, lolo, tita glecy, lolo nuling, omay, lolo humbelin & the relatives of ryan who he cant name.

When lola passed away we diligently visited her tomb every after breakfast at Dulcinea coming from the Sunday mass, a routine that we only broke after my lolo passed away. Yes we still visit the cemetery every Sunday when he died but the Dulcinea breakfast was not necessarily there. Ugghh..I know it is a privilege but we ate there since I was in highschool and lolo passed away when I was already working. Not to mention that lolo, who I fondly call my "talking alarm clock", wanted us to be up to hear the 6 AM mass...Yes partying the night before was not an exemption for the rule. So I had no curfews as long as I can get up in the morning and attend mass with the family. Of course this was the same when my lola was around except that with lola we somehow had a variety of breakfast - Mc Donald's & Jollibee was surely a treat! And earlier when we still can afford it breakfast at Century Plaza (no complains about here though..hehehe).

Anyway every all souls day Dokee prepares flowers the night before. Have the big boys repaint the tombs (one time with the small boys too who also painted the cat nearby). The whole family goes to the cemetery when it's not so hot outside just taking a tricyle from the house to the cemetery as it is heavily jammed in the vicinity and there will be no place to park the car.

We say our prayers and eat merienda there in the cemetery with or without lolo's brother's family. After that we attack the food stalls especially the green mangoes na maasim!!and the inihaw na pusit!!Deadma sa pizza, donuts, etc...kse naman mistulang food court ang Makati South Cemetery pag Nov.1 hehee. Somehow having fun there in the cemetery feels like we are still with them or at least we are hoping they see us from somewhere that we are all good and terribly missing them. This year is also the first year that Omay will no longer join us as he passed away in such a young age unexpectedly. I didn't get the chance to pay my respects to him yet. Inaabangan ko pa naman tuwing Nov 1 kug ano at ilan ang cellphone na nawala nya for the year and everytime he goes to the cemetery (actually anywhere for the matter) sobrang porma nya to the max. Hahaha! Another family member who will be missed.

Though we are far away this tradition will never be lost in our family. I will teach Iaree and tell her stories about our departed love ones. As a family we will always pray for them. In fact we started teaching her this year and she was so behaved and facinated with the light of the candle..hehehe. =)

Cuteeeee (Daddy & Iaree moments)

2007-10-12T13:50:00.000+08:00

9:15 AM I am rushing...

Iaree was sleepy but complaining as she still wants to keep on feeding. Ryan was beside her but too sleepy to move. I told him to cuddle Iaree so she can go back to sleep but as soon as he did she started mumbling (we assume she so wants to tell us a stories when she does this), few minutes later she complains again --

Iaree: iiieee ieeee (with matching stomping of feet in the bed)
Ryan: iiieee ieeee

Ryan kept on imitating the sounds that she did that she stopped, looked at Ryan and giggled. Then she started telling stories again...hehehe.

So cute I had difficulty leaving them.

*******
Today is our 7th year anniversary and on the 17th of October our 3rd year together. As much as we want to make annual anniversary trips or do something special together we'll make an exemption this year as we don't have the heart to leave Iaree. Hehehe hopefully we'll have the courage to next year. She's so adorable and we just instantly miss her when she's not with us. We'll just look at the bright side we'll save what we didn't spend this year. Hehehe. Anyway about our anniversary I'm so happy to be with Ryan and that we are on our 7th year together as a couple. We struggle on some days but we continue to work things out. After each fight we learn new things and grow stronger so that we wont repeat the same mistakes. He's such a great dad I just hope that his stress on work don't get the better of him. I love watching him with Iaree how he enjoys carrying her, cuddling her and playing with her only thing he can't do is sing for her..hahaha! Anyway...happy anniversary mahal!!This is going to be an extra special day because of Iaree even if we don't do anything.

Motherhood..the new chapter in my so called life

2007-10-06T09:01:00.000+08:00

When I came back to work a month ago I was getting a lot of "how's ur baby?" question that really is a mind boggler for me to answer. All our baby does is sleep, eat, poop, pee, sleep, eat, poop, pee. That's what babies do anyway on their first months but when I go home I came to reflect on how motherhood changed me and how Iaree changed our lives. (This is a hint for you guys that this is another one of my endless entry..hehe)

We were on our way to Ryan's hometown and we stopped over at megamall to check out something. Inside the bus I was sooo dizzy and hungry that I thought 2 slices of the greenwich pizza we bought will ease me a bit. I tried sleeping but when we got off I was throwing up the first chance I got. We thought it was just the heat or the food so we ignored it. Two days went on and I was still feeling the same...nauseous, throwing up, food cravings that I still throw up after. We weren't that suspicious that I was already pregnant since I was just a few days delayed (which was very normal in my cycle depending on my stress level that month) and I just finished a complete medical exam a week ago for our overseas employment and the pregnancy test showed negative. That's why it was a surprise to find out that I was pregnant. =)

I eagerly saw what I will do when I become a mom, mapped out things I'd what to do for the baby but when she came out it was a whole different story. This was the exact reason why I was scared to have a baby, not just because of the labor pains but because I put so much pressure on myself knowing that I am not an ordinary girl who will become a mom - I took a masteral degree that specializes on human development and I STUDIED how vulnerable each event in life is to a person. I felt should know the when, where, why & how of raising a child given all that I've learned but trust me I have so forgotten all the theories and concepts from school when Iaree is there crying or something that urgently needs my attention. The best weapon in being a mom I realized is not what I have studied (but it sure comes in handy) it's having good instincts, common sense and on some days simply your love for your baby & husband that will extend what you feel is already your long patience.

During the first two months I already cried 3x. I was thinking "oh noh?am I so bad did I do something wrong..etc". First - on the 3rd day we brought her home I cried that night for the difficulty of feeding her in the wee hours of the day then putting her to sleep so I can AT LEAST close my eyes to rest before she asks for the next feeding. Second - out of frustration that the baby doesn't want to stop crying and being questioned by my usually supportive husband why I can't make her stop. Third was when I tried weaning her or actually just trying to teach her to feed from the bottle as I was a few weeks away from going back to work. First two times the tears was out of pity for myself but when I cried the last time and I cried for her that when motherhood really sinked in & hit me. I thought the 9 months of carrying her in my womb already did it for me. While semi-weaning her I felt sad that I will not be with her everyday and that she would have to learn to live (actually feed...hehehe) without me. I felt sad that she was having difficulty feeding from the bottle & not from mommy. She was crying hard and I know she was hungry na. It was sooo heartbreaking I cant go near her those times para di sya ma-confuse na "why do I have to drink my milk from the bottle eh my mommy is here?" Eventually we both learned how to cope with it. The smiles & giggles that we share during feeding time & playtime when I go home or before I leave for the office is such delight!!!Understatement!Super sarap pang i-kiss at i-hug!!Winning feeling!!

A lot of credit goes to my very sweet, loving and supportive husband who never left my side since I conceived the baby. Sure he had sungit moments like scolding me for throwing up endlessly (as if I can help it) during the first trimester, scolding me for taking a bus instead of a taxi cab (hehe I think I deserve this one kse super hirap sumakay ng bus at mega-walkathon papuntang house) and when the baby is crying or hurt (obviously bringing our the over protectiveness in him). His little tantrums could never equate the attention that he gives me and the baby. Everytime he volunteers to wash the dishes or just buy food outside when my morning sickness was terrible or even when it wasnt at tinatamad lng ako. Everytime he offers a back or foot rub even without me asking. These was when he still had a shifting schedule. When we got a car, even coming from a night shift with a very stressful workload he will still drive me to the office. When I was giving birth he never left my side and made sure I was comfortable all the time. When the baby was out he wakes up with me even if he still had to go to work. If he sees I'm so tired or sleepy and the baby is not hungry he volunteers without second thoughts of putting the baby to sleep. Best of all he also puts up with my tantrums etc but I guess a big sacrifice was went I went back to work and when I have too many workload that he waits for me for hours coz he comes to the office early to pick me up. He would buy me food and wait for me without complains. Which reminds me the only time we fight is when I shop and he's too tired or too sleepy or too hungry (during my pregnancy or even now with the baby)...hehehe syempre as long as there are stores for me I forget that I'm tired or hungry plus the genetic thing in guys that they can't bear shopping!So it's obviously an unending war between us pag shopping time na..hahaha!(Kaya naman I am improving my skill of buying 2 pairs of shoes in 15 mins para wag mainit ulo ni Ryan sa tagal at sa gastos ko....hahaha!)

Nowadays my routine goes as work & expressing milk for the baby in the server room every 3-4 hours, work and go home, feed the baby directly, eat dinner, fix the bed, put her to sleep, wake up 2-3 times in the mid of the night to feed her, on the last feeding it's time to go to work again. So you see a very supportive husband and a very helpful mom is my best support system. Then again seeing Iaree grow up so energetic and happy can simply make your day, month, year & life as it is now. Now more than ever Ryan and I workout in coping with parenthood, work demands and life demands hoping to get some sleep in between. I now understood that the best compliment I could hear from people is "Wow Rhodora you are such a good mother!" - from my officemates who are baffled at how I juggle "milking" (as my boss calls it), working and motherhood at home. I now know that the best reward for a tiring day is an appreciative hug & kisses from Ryan and his remark of "Thanks for being a great mom!". Then of course to feed my vanity I so cherish the endless compliment I get from envious girls (even my OB-GYNE) how I quickly shed off my pregnancy weight...hahaha so superficial di ba?! Naah just kidding...I know I am not a perfect mom and definitely not a perfect wife...not to mention not a perfect employee/recruiter at the moment. Some days are simply a struggle while some days are a bliss. For now I am really loving every moment...laughing with Iaree, seeing her play with Ryan who loves her so much, knowing how my family back in the Phils are very excited to see her...what else can I ask for?

Now how did I manage to post this blog..Iaree & Ryan are still sound asleep. =) Hehehe!I told you some days are a bliss...hahaha!!!

Headaches & pains of a RECRUITER

2007-10-03T11:00:00.000+08:00

As much as I openly talk about it to friends and love ones the headaches & pains of being a recruiter is sometimes just beyond venting.

Not in particular order I so hate --
1. Salary negotiations the last minute - especially for our industry endorsing a candidate to a client is one but asking the client for last minute adjustment is simply a no no. Why the hell do they agree to the rate only to negotiate it afterwards.

2. In no effort not to be discriminatory even my Indian & Malaysian colleagues agree that Filipinos are easier candidates to handle. Nice and polite. In my experience ONLY if I propose them for Singapore are Filipino candidates ok. Thing is for Filipinos it's all about the converted amount of the salary with no consideration of the cost of living in a country. With their unreasonable demands despite triple-quadruple savings they will get they turn down the offer without studyuing about the country's cost of living. Other nationalities will give you endless and unreasonable salary negotiations that you'd wish you never talked to them in the first place.

3. Unprepared for technical interviews.One can always come prepared for a telephone techical interview especially if I am your recruiter...haha!No seriously from the qualifications itself you can brush up on your skills unfortunately for some they blindlyl go through interviews and for whatever reason fail even non-technical questions for saying something inappropriate.

4. Backouts!!!!!!!Again most of their reason is salary.If you thought you have them in your hands it never is until you see their bodies reporting to the office on the said joining date.

5. Too many processes that's getting in the way of just getting the candidate on board.

I wanted so much to go for Filipino candidates unfortunately the Philippines may be abundant of talented IT professionals but they lack the skills for enterprise level. Even big companies in the Phils dont have the infrastructure to give Filipinos a good training ground to have skills at par in the global market. Lastly if they are qualified I just dont understand why they make my life difficult by making unreasonable salary negotiations to such point that we'd rather drop them off. Arrrgghhh!Good luck to me!Recruitment it seems is a whole different repetitive drama compared to the drama of my previous job as a full spectrum HR Officer.

AAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!

2007-09-10T10:53:00.000+08:00

Thanks to my curiosity! After tinkering with the templates accidentally, my blog not only looks different but I also lost the links of my blog friends...now I have to retrace them one by one like I have retraced some previous features I have here.

Naubos tuloy oras ko sa pag-troubleshoot di tuloy me nakapag post ng kwento waaaah!

The baby's coming out!!!

2007-07-14T16:31:00.000+08:00

It was 3:00 p.m. when we reached Pantai Medical Hospital. I could barely walk but just to ensure that this is it I didn't request for a wheelchair and checked myself in at the delivery floor. They immediately placed me in a room and strapped the monitor for the contractions and baby's heart rate. Midwives checked my dilation it was 4-5 cm by that time pain is still tolerable. Mama, Ryan and I were still relaxed..or so I thought coz both of them are already so cold. If it's the aircon or their nervousness I really do not know. Ryan busied himself by setting up the video & digi cam which ironically both ran out of battery.

Dr. Yap arrived past 6:00 pm and checked my dilation again. She jokingly told me finally I know what contractions were. Since my water bag was still intact she had to burst it manually to make the baby go down faster. She informed us that if the baby passes motion in the next few hours and or I am not fully dilated we will go for the ceasarian operation. She will check on me by 9:30 pm meanwhile she left me with my contractions. The contractions became indescribably painful!!! Ouch to the NTH power!!!I do not let Ryan leave my side I squeeze him everytime I feel pain which is according to the monitor was every 2 mins now. My doctor was surprised that I haven't requested for the epidural. Before she left she called ordered for the epidural.

As far as I can recount the "contractions experience" about 3-4 times before the in-house anesthesiologist arrived I was having it so bad. I am shaking in pain and the nurses where giving me the laughing gas (sorry I forgot the proper name). They were coaching me to breath in & out as the pain was excruciating I cannot think properly let alone remember to relax and breathe. Once I inhaled the gas the pain will ease out somehow until it comes again. So you can just imagine I felt no pain as the 2-3 inches needle was being stuck to my spinal cord because really for me the contractions were far more painful. After the epidural was in place I was drowsy and sleepy. I was still aware of the contractions but the terrible terrible terrible pain was gone. Although at one point, around 9 pm or so it felt like epidural was not helping but according to the midwives it should be that way since I have to feel the pushing when the time comes.

Ryan was so supportive. He calms me down while I am shaking ang while I'm in pain. He just holds my hand and lets me squeeze his hand (to a point of numbness...hehehe). Actually in between the good times when I can still smile he takes my pictures. He said I should've asked for the epidural when I first came in. Kse naman feeling ko kaya ko eh to think I have low pain tolerance. Feeling brave!

Past 9 PM nagsisimula na naman ang painful episodes ko it's because when the midwives checked me I was fully dilated na. Dr.Yap was on her way for her 9:30 PM appointment with us. =) All the events seemed syncronized when she stepped in. Everything happened so fast. In just a few minutes I was pusing the baby out. She told me that the baby's head was already visible she even let me touch it. After a few pushes may cheerers pa ha...the midwife there with us was so good in cheering - "push push push..." si mama, si Ryan, Dr. Yap all shouting encouraging words. However my efforts were futile because I lack breath when she is almost out. Hence Dr. Yap told me she has to use vacuum to help me but it also means I have to push harder. After one hard push with the vacuum our baby is out!

Tatiana Reese "Iaree" Garces Tuazon weighed 2.96 kg with a length of 48cm and was delivered exactly at 9:46 pm.

Immediately she was wailing before anything was done to her. Ryan was the one who cut the umbilical cord unfortunately my untrained mom was unable to capture the moment. In a few minutes they handed over the baby to me...it was hard to describe the feeling. It's unbelievable & overwhelming to finally hold her in my arms. Her eyes were open then and she was playing with her saliva. She was so adorable and immediately we were all swept with a so much love for this new person we just saw now.

She was brought outside where Ryan & mama followed, I think for more cleaning etc. Then after a few hours plenty of congratulations from the staff who assisted I was transferred to my room although that night all single rooms were filled so temporarily we were placed in a 2 BR ward. Good thing nobody else occupied the room.
We had no other choice but to have McDonald's for dinner at 11PM there was nothing else we can buy. After two bites of Mc Chicken sandwich I was out. A few hours later they brought the baby in. The nurse positioned her for breast feeding and it was such an amazing experience watching her do so.

After that I tried sleeping but I can't thinking of what I just went through and the excitement that doesn't diminish with the new baby at my side. Mama & Ryan drifted off to dreamland.

The drama before labor

2007-07-13T22:15:00.000+08:00

My anxiety did not wear off as we left my doctor's office Saturday - June 30. Despite the full schedule of the clinic (we have switched to a new & better Gynecologist by the way) since my due date is near she told me to walk in and she will accommodate me still. She did the routine ultrasound to check me & our baby. Water level is ok, baby is still fine (heartbeat and all) but if I/we gain more weight her engaged head might get dislodged and she'll be left with no choice but to do a c-section. I need to be back to her clinic next Thursday because she will decide if I will be induced this will at least force the baby out via normal delivery. If baby really is not out on the time table we are looking at, my doctor will intervene so I have higher chances of delivering our baby naturally.

Determined -- I controlled eating rice, really really really stopped munching on the remaining bags of Famous Amos Chocolate & Pecan Chips, went back to healthy fruits & veggies, less fried dishes, the works! Also after the checkup that Saturday Ryan took me to three malls - 1 Utama (to watch Fantastic 4), Ikea (wala lng para lng magikot tlga) & finally Tesco (to do some grocery). Ryan not having slept yet from night shift was bushed, so he slept in the car while mama & I went to buy groceries in the huge Makro-like Tesco. Before we could fall in line, I was having contractions...I was half hoping it was it. But no after resting it was gone the next day. Sunday after mass we went to another big mall to watch Transformers and again did some grocery in the for items not available in Tesco. Mega walkaton tlga and I was having contractions at the end of the day. This time I was really hoping it would carry on although my doctor is against me delivering on a weekend because like the cinemas hospitals here have weekend rates. Yah tell me about it?! Ryan was so excited, he packed all the tripods and his shooting equipment as if I'm about to go any minute. Sadly...the night went on as usual.

Monday morning since I was feeling okay again we scheduled a morning walk. So I had to tell my boss I will be late. Contractions are very mild & manageable but I don't think this is it yet. We went back home and I prepared to leave for the office. I knew I'll be facing a barrage of "you're still here??" questions from my very eager officemates. Rest of the day went on. I was busy and distracted. Sent a worried email to my married friends to ask for their prayers & air out my anxieties. End of the day had very mild hardly noticeable contractions but Linda & Azlina (my local officemates) already said goodbye to me as if I'm really giving birth the following day. Linda even told our big boss to say goodbye to me since I'm giving birth tomorrow. Hahaha. I really hope it's as simple as that. Ryan tells me the same thing since I've been so anxious last Saturday - "Don't worry baby will come out on Tuesday"

So eto na nga ang Tuesday - July 3. I woke up 8:00 am (yes thanks to having my mom around I have the luxury of time to sleep longer since she cooks breakfast) dressed up and started walking around our phase. Ryan caught up with me and this time we covered more areas than yesterday pabalik balik pa kme sa mga steep route. Contractions were more regular but we wanted to be sure this time kse past few days din naman regular ang contractions tapos nawawala. It was getting more painful now and I have finally decided to file for a sick leave (which they call MC here for medical certificate, hehehe seriously). After breakfast I told Ryan lakarin na lng namin papuntang clinic to get the MC para exercise pa din. (Side note: bulubundikin ang area po namin at tlgang workout ang paglalakad around the vicinity). We were continously timing my contractions it started intervals of 6-7 mins nung 8:30 by 11:00 after my checkup mga ganun pa din pero I can feel the intensity na. Doctor in the clinic checked me and told me na 1cm na ako. Our choice daw if we will go to the hospital na but knowing that it's a private hospital they might admit me daw even if I am not yet on the way. We asked her if it's okay to go to KLCC - last chance to go with my mom to go see Petronas & Ryan needs to go to the bank. Plus bigger walking area for me. She said it is still our choice since some women who go on easy labor have contractions and easily dilates after. If not 1 cm dilation could mean 1-2 days for me still.

We decided not to go to KLCC anymore kahit when we got back mama was all dressed up. =( I feel bad that we haven't really toured her in KL with my condition and our workload. Ryan also allowed the contractor to finish a few more fixtures around the house that day. I was having severe contractions by the time the contractors arrived. Interval was ave of 4-5 mins and it was getting really really painful. Ryan keeps on teasing me pa and taking my pictures. Pambihira! Inis na inis na ako sa kanya ang kulit tlga. Mama was preparing stuff to bring to the hospital pati cross stitch nya dala dala...hahaha! I told her we might be asked to go home kung ano ano pa dala nya. Immediately went the contractor left I was rushing Ryan to bring me to the hospital it was really so painful already.

Eto muna...

2007-07-11T23:25:00.001+08:00

I have so many stories na di ko na natapos i-blog.

Now the biggest event we have been waiting for has come...no energy nga lng to write about it. Check this out first >> OUR BABY IS HERE!!!

A closer look on our baby

2007-06-08T18:29:00.000+08:00

Finally we went for the 4D!

A little too late now as I am 35.5 weeks, yes a few days short of my 9th month. Hence if I haven't mentioned before expected date of delivery (EDD) is July 7, 2007. We didn't know it's advisable to go for 4D between 20-28 weeks of the pregnancy while there's plenty of room to move around for the baby giving the gyne more freedom to check the baby's health and vital signs inside mommy's womb. What we knew was that the 4D will give such accurate images so the closer to full term the better so we would know if the organs are complete etc. and it really drove us to go for it since our OB just shrugged of the idea of checking out the baby's gender. Hmp!Super kainis. Enough of the backgrounder...here's a closer look to our baby girl. =)

Soooo cute to see such a calm and peaceful image inside me! It builds up more excitement for me and Ryan. Now we can call the baby by her name / nickname. =)At first she had her hand on her face but later on she removed it making us see her face better. Chubby daw sabi ng doctor...naku bigla akong kinabahan but they later re-assured me that she is estimatedly 2.5-3 kg...I hope that's good. More good news was the baby was healthy as far as the test could check - heart, brain, liver, lungs, spine, my placenta, the amount of water. So far it's all up to me enduring the upcoming birthing pains. Woohoo! Anyway I'm sure it will all be worth it. =)

I immediately called mama to tell her the good news muntik na ma-heart attack si mama kse kala nya nanganak na ako...hahaha!Oo nga naman sabihin ko ba kseng.. "ma!it's a baby girl!!"

Star struck!

2007-06-07T22:45:00.000+08:00

Tonight was the farewell dinner party for our colleague Pugaz. I voted we go for Chili's para makakain naman ako at di naman Indian food na naman...kawawa naman si baby.

The elevator from the carpark was a little cramped and there were 2 people inside. The girl looked familiar but I can't name her in my mind. Chili's was at the ground floor and I know that very well. We were chatting with the 2 ladies inside the lift talking how cramped it was there etc. Then our floor came the other woman suddenly blurted “it's not everyday you get to share lift with MICHELLE YEOH”. I was out of the elevator already waiting for my colleagues to step out..suddenly walang kumikilos and I digested na it was really Michelle Yeoh with us. Sobrang tagal ng processing ko...I was thinking hey this is our floor and I want a picture with Michelle, gosh why did I hesitate bringing our digi cam this morning, wait autograph n lng kaya..as in all that in a few seconds and a lady outside the lift was waiting for us to get off a little pissed we were holding up the lift. Then I don't know who said "Chili's is at 3rd floor" I nodded and agreed.."yes I think it's at the 3rd floor" and entered the lift again.

Azlina was so fast with her phone she was beside Michelle so she took a snap with her. Michelle's companion said..I'm her agent and I will charge you RM10 each for each picture, jokingly. She said okay lets step out and do it outside. Oh my gosh! We were all raving here at this point so excited!!!

Michelle was chatting with us..asking so were did you all come from or something and I said "We're from the Phils." (referring to me & Kim), "one is a local Malaysian and 2 of them are from India" Kim continued. Michelle said "Wow and you're all going out together?" we replied "Yes we all work together and we're going out for dinner".

Azlina again brought out her phone and I brought out my XDA (really hating that it's so low res and again regretting why I left the digi cam today). Michelle even asked me so when are you due? She was so nice, simple and humble. Nothing compared to Mikee Cojuanco nung nakasabay ko sya sa elevator ng DOLE.

Sobra kmeng star struck lahat...I mean it's not everyday that you see an international actress isn't it?

34 Weeks and counting

2007-05-30T14:08:00.000+08:00

from my babycenter.com subscription:

Hello, Rhodora!

Your baby now weighs about 4 3/4 pounds and is probably almost 18 inches long from the top of her head to the bottom of her feet. Her central nervous system is still maturing, but her lungs are well developed now. That's great news in case she decides to come early. If you've been nervous about going into preterm labor, you'll be happy to know that 99 percent of babies this age can survive outside the womb and most have no major long-term problems related to prematurity.

Yey!We are sooo excited. But I hope pag nandito na lng si mama coz I want to give birth when she is here so she can help me & Ryan out. Last Monday since Ryan & I went for a lunch outside I felt the baby go down while walking back to the office. A little painful like I'm going to have my period already..so far ok pa naman. Baby's still in. =) Baka excited lng din kse almost everything is set.

The story of the elusive play pen

2007-05-28T19:23:00.000+08:00

We were always putting off the shopping day for baby items but surely when we are at a mall we never fail to visit 2-3 baby shops. We wanted to make sure we buy only the essentials knowing how excited we get for things like this. An example was our wedding -- Ryan and I will like different things so we end up having both making it more expensive for us.

Items that we see are mostly not for unisex most of it are gender biased and it's another dilemma to spend for something we are unsure of. Months ago we came across this playpen that can be initially used as a crib. It's made by Graco and they call it Pack & Play. Travel practical as well so we can easily shuttle from room to room and even easily bring to the Phils if we go home. It was perfect! We wanted something practical and easy to pack for whatever plans we will have in the future. This is the second big item we put on the list. First one was the Chicco stroller we found in the Phils which we fervently looked for here in MY as well.

When we finally decided to buy it, it was on sale!Yey! Unfortunately we didn't like the color stock they have. One store promised that they will reserve us from the suppplier itself it was a blue & green one so even if the baby was a boy or a girl it would still be okay. Not to mention the vibrant colors fit for babies. So okay na. The next day they informed us na wala na sa supplier ang color na yun. So we waited for another weekend to go to a different mall to check out the same item. Gulay! They also have it in dark brown & light brown color na sobrang dull at mahirap ternuhan ng colorful beddings and mobile. Kinareer namin lahat ng baby shops and always end up with the same color. Even the sales ladies are aware that this color is a slow seller unlike other stocks they previously have.

We let go of the sale and decided to just buy near my labor date or worst case scenario pag nanganak na tlga ako. Hehehe. Anyway we were able to buy this mattress and baby bath tub. So those are baby's first items to be bought.

Weeks passed and we never missed a single mall day without looking for differently colored playpen. Finally Saturday we entered this shop and asked for the same thing..check their other store for the stock. Bingo! The shop has it from another branch. Promise gusto na naming bayaran but they were so willing just to have it delivered there. They were saying it will take two weeks for the transfer. I was okay with it but an excited daddy beside me was not...Gusto nya mabilisan kse matagal na tlga nya pinapangarap i-setup. Still at least it's the color that we want at hindi sya display lng. They did not require for a downpayment and said they will just contact me if it's in their store na. Actually gusto na ni Ryan kareerin at aralin ng pagpunta sa branch na pagkukunan.

Anyway I thought that was the end of the story for the playpen. Ngunit!Subalit!Datapwat...nag-mall ulit kme nung Sunday to buy for baby clothes. Kahit na sa SM na ako nagpapabili kay mama dahil di hamak na mas mura sa Pinas eh pang-araw araw lng naman ni baby. Kaso parang ayokong ma-miss ang shopping experience so I insisted on buying a few items myself. After shopping for the clothes we had lunch at the adjoining mall and found out there were so many baby stores there!!!Sobrang nakakalaway...as a habit we checked out the playpen and guess what?!! They have a stock although di sya blue & green as we wanted it was still better than that dark & light brown. It was moss green and had Winnie the Pooh character design. Graco pa din so ok pa din sa quality and best of all mas mura!!!Way cheaper than the discount during the sale. End of the story: satistifed and excited mommy & daddy went home with the playpen + plenty of free gifts (dahil sa promo nila).

Epilogue: This morning in my mobile...krinnnggg!
Dowa:Hello?
Girl on the line: Hi this is from (name of the store) regarding the Graco play pen you order.
Dowa: Yes I was about to call you about that.
Girl on the line: Well we have it delivered here already. So you can purchase it anytime.
Dowa: Oh noh!Yesterday we saw the same item on the other mall and we immediately bought it.
Buti na lng ha mabait sila. Banned na kme sa lahat ng stores nila! hehehe! Buti di ako member sa store na yun.

Here it is!

False alarm

2007-05-24T19:38:00.000+08:00

In fairness to me alam ko na false alarm pa naman...hahaha!

Here goes my story last Tuesday...I was home alone. To think may guest of honor kme..Rene & his wife pero wala pa sila nasa galaan. Si Florence 8:30 PM - 8:30 AM ang duty..si Ryan 3:00 PM - 12:00 AM ang duty. Napakasaklap..and since Ryan was so busy in the office I told him to drop me off the nearby mall so I can just grab a taxi and he can go back.

After having dinner by myself (sniff,sniff) instead of immediately washing the dishes I watched TV first. Humiga sa sofa and voila few mins after I had difficulty breathing and my tummy was sooooooo stiff. Oh noh! I didn't know how contractions felt. It was 9:20 PM so I said ok I will wait for this to go away. So umupo ako tried breathing normally but the stiffness won't go away. If it goes away, only for a few minutes then the pain and stiffness are there again. By 9:35 I texted Ryan na..Ang saya ubos na din ang load ko to make a call.."PLS CALL NOW" 2 mins passed he hasn't called I sent the same msg to Florence. In a few minutes Florence called. I tried to be as calm as possible knowing how panicked Florence can get..."Lence,I don't know the feeling but since I'm alone if ever this is it at manganganak na ako I don't want to be alone. Pwede pong pakitawagan sa taas and call Arnold & Boyet?Kakaiba kse feeling ko parang manganganak na ako or what di ko maintindihan." Syempre Florence did so without hesitation and in a few more minutes the guys were here (they are living in the high rise tower within our phase and I specifically chose them since sila ung may babies na female neighbors are all single).

They came with Marrix and they were all so worried. Since nakaka-daldal ever pa ako mukhang ok pa tlga..pero this is the longest and most painful "contractions" (if that's what it was) I ever felt. Ryan called pala before they came I didn't want to bother him coz I honestly don't feel the baby coming out yet..I just don't want to be alone just in case I feel something different or I should be rushed to the hospital. Anyway even if they were there Ryan decided to leave his post and go home. In a matter of 15 mins when he arrived I felt normal again...Arnold, Boyet & Marrix left. Ryan decided to stay even if he left his laptop on in the office etc. Hmmm...sabi ni Ryan sa baby "hmmm namiss nyo lang ata ako ni mommy eh kse di ko kayo hinatid pauwi"...hehehe. All the commotion for nothing but I'm comforted by the fact that we're not completely alone here even in a foreign land. Thanks to our helpful friends who were all so prompt in attending to my call for help. Kahit we were all so clueless.

Same night Arnold was chatting with his wife and his wife told him all that I'll be feeling etc. The next day we were all laughing about it. Although I can still tell with their text messages that they were all so concerned. =)

Pregnancy journals

2007-04-03T13:45:00.000+08:00

*Miscarriage scare*

What I used to read on the posts of fellow expectant moms in my e-group about losing their baby, almost came so real to me. Sunday after mass, Ryan and I decided to do some grocery. While he checked out some stuff from the diving shop for our weekend trip with the recruitment team I went to the restroom to pee. Before I stood up I noticed blood. Immediately I searched for Ryan praying that everything will be just fine and talking to my baby to hold on and be strong.

When we reached the hospital, they immediately took me in via emergency room and while waiting for the doctor I really can't help but cry. I know I'm supposed to relax but suddenly it dawned on me that all the stress and the physical strain of working for the weekend jobfair could have caused this. I feel so scared that I am putting our baby's life in the line because of my job. I could tell that Ryan was trying to hold his control being worried for me and the baby and being so sweet not to scold me even if he told me to stay at home & rest than work that Saturday. I was so impressed on how Ryan tried to hold up and be strong for me so that I will stop worrying...but I can tell in his eyes that he was too.

As per my OB's orders I was admitted. Surprisingly at the ER here they do not do a lot of test compared with ER in the Phil - well of course it has it's pros & cons.
I told Ryan to just get a ward since my insurance does not cover any pregnancy related illness and we do not know how much this hospitalization will cost us. I sent an SMS to my boss telling him about my situation. Kinabahan tuloy sya and naguilty kse alam nyang pinagtrabaho nya ako ng weekend. In fairness the ward here is so nice wala lng tv pero parang hotel ha. I had this impression kse of wards in the Philippines and good thing it was not even a fraction of that. All four beds were empty so I had the entire ward by myself which was actually a good thing since companions of the patients are not allowed to stay there overnight. The following day if we didn't follow it up due to the carelessness of my doctor's assistant they haven't done any tests to me yet. Promise ha all this waiting is causing me so much anxiety. Ryan & I were suspecting it had nothing to do with the baby but more on my urine. This was confirmed after they did the test. My doctor allowed me to go home but under strict orders that I should rest and take it easy.

It was indeed a big sigh of relief for us after the ultrasound and all that the baby was fine. Although my bleeding from the urinary tract had to be treated somehow. After this I told myself I will take care of myself more...mahirap na I don't want to lose our first baby and it's not as simple. Nine months of bearing a child in the womb is really a task that even if you have really been with the baby physically I mean cuddle and take care of him the attachment is there. As I always expected and thought of there should be a certain preparedness in pregnancy and parenthood. Kaya nga it took us a while before we got into it and no matter how prepared you are, regardless of the books you read, the research you've done (not to emphasize that I'm mastering Human Development and have more than enough materials on all aspects of human development) you can't always have the answer to every situation.

*Antenatal classes*

For this month (April) we enrolled at the hospital's antenatal classes. Ryan & I are often clueless on a lot of things and it will be a good help to hear it from the experts at the same time get a feel of what their practices are here.

It was very educational!Scary and...scary..hehehe! Especially for me who has very low tolerance of pain. I mean they explained what to expect and even showed us the needle for the epidural. While listening to the explanations sino bang di matatakot noh!

I kept on comparing myself to the other pregnant women in the class and boy are their tummies bulging!I am so glad Ryan joined me in these classes because he's now so educated about giving birth and all. Especially the possibility that daddies faint during the labor or panic etc.

We so love this hospital so far they only encourage breastfeeding nothing else and the nurses assigned in the station are so trained for that. Plus since mommy will be so tired after the delivery they will teach daddy how to bathe and take care of the baby. Awww...that's so sweet (and brilliant, para may enough rest si mommy)!!Although Ryan is scared in holding a vulnerable baby I'm sure he'll do just fine. =)

*Car for convenience(?)*

Since the cost of cars & petrol (hahaha, sanay na tlga ako sa Malaysian terms) is cheap we have been planning for so long to buy our own. Rental is also an option pero computing it mas lalabas na mahal. Unfortunately if you're an expat (naks!) mas costly & we have to find a guarantor etc. Taking taxi cabs are draining us I mean I take a cab going home for me was tolerable on our budget but with Ryan's crazy schedule his only option going home is also to take a cab with a 50% mark up kse past 12 midnight na. Not to mention with the baby it's not so ideal for us to travel around in public transpo. Good thing Chris one of the senior Pinoys here in MY will move back to the Phils he's actually selling his car but it's too small for us. Just the car seat of the Chicco stroller we are checking out will occupy the space in the car and we cannot do anymore grocery once the baby is here. So we told him if he likes pa-rent n muna nya sa amin. He agreed naman so hatid sundo na ako ni Ryan and maybe after I give birth if our extra money will still allow it saka na kme kukuha ng car na fit tlga for us. Nakakaloka pala mag-second hand! Walang pang one month ang dami nang sakit ng kotse na tyumempo pa sa amin. Another thought masarap palang may driver kse tinuturuan ako ni Ryan magdrive tamad na tamad ako..kahit tuloy wala pa sya tulog from night shift hatid sundo pa din nya ako...hehehee.bad!Dinadahilan ko ang hirap mag-drive kse buntis ako...hahaha!(sana saka n nya mabasa to)

*Baby nightmares*

Hala!I had a baby nightmare last week (May) as in we have two baby girls na who are so naughty and hyperactive hindi masaway. When I woke up Ryan had it from me. Pano ba naman everytime Ryan pictures our baby super daming naughty side na kinekwento nya at susuportahan. Cute daw kse! Aba aba aba!!

*Shy baby*

Since I got hospitalized on my 6th month every doctor's visit was something we look forward to because we so want to know the baby's gender already. I know it's safer and more practical to stick to neutral colors & items for the baby but I can't help it the gender specific items are too cute to pass on. I sooooooooo wanted to shop na!I have benn holding back for months since I got pregnant. Same as how I held back not buying maternity clothes since none of it fit me anyway.

Anyway for the 6th month baby was facing mommy and only the buttocks were showing. 7th month check up the doctor had difficulty figuring it out since it wasn't such an ideal position. 8th month, the most recent one baby was covering his/her genitals with his/her two legs. Sorry mommy & daddy it will be a surprise. Anyway Florence is more frustrated than us everytime we go home from a checkup with no news what the baby's gender is. Hahaha! Affected tlga si Florence. Anyway sabi ni Ryan paglabas ni baby may suot ng diaper sa sobrang pagkamahiyain. Super suspense tlga ang gender nya ha. Pinagiisipan ko pa if we will go for the 4D ang mahal kse ang dami ko nang mabibili na baby items. But it seems like daddy really wants to go for it..every checkup dala nya ang digicam at vinevideo nya ang ultrasound. Hehehe!

*Mommy's little kickboxer*

Since my figure is so small (I was sooo worried I will blow up tlga when I get pregnant) Since 5-6 mos yata baby's movement inside me is so strong already. But now that the baby is bigger and stronger aba parang kickboxer in the making sa likot and minsan ang sakit ha. Especially when the baby stays long near my rib cage..ouch!Kahit anong pakiusap ni mommy ayaw mag-move pag si daddy ang humawak at kumausap aba sumusunod naman. Hmmm...kaya kinakabahan ako sa mag-ama eh. Ang dami na kseng conniving plans ni Ryan for the kids mischief eh. (*my eyes rolling here).

Here's some of my preggy pictures:

*** to follow after editing it

Love letter from my B.F.

2007-04-03T13:44:00.000+08:00

Mar 30, '07 6:12 AM
for users dowadee and auiedioses

how are you? how's ur tummy? how's dear ryan... I hope its so okay wid you I posted your letters for me. It made me miss you a lot more. It made me even notice that GOD has put us together though we are really opposites. You can sing I can dance. Ur'e good in english, id rather have math! ur the kind of girl who doesn't easily trust a guy, while Im a person who easily gives in in their "sugar-coated" "to good to be true" statements. I take good care of my stuffs while you lost a lot of pagers...u r tall, i am short. I am gifted but you are not (sorry but its the truth...you know which is the "gifted" part that i am referring...) hahahaha I come on time and you are always late.... both of us are miss friendship pero mas matindi ka kasi we always get stranded because of your friends and choovas!

thinking how would it be if we are still both in phils... u having ryan and being preggy while im busy preparing for my wedding =)

I thank God for what he has given us... as what everybody says... all of us may experience struggles in life but i'm so overjoyed and blessed for having you as my best frend EVER!

we maybe so miles away but always remember no one can ever replace the kind of friendship that we shared.

ilove u and take care of urself!!!

God bless........

cnu pa... ako pa din !
weewai

When I read Auie's heartwarming letter I was so moved that I had tears welling up in my eyes. Indeed when you look back in life there's no greater joy than to see how far you've gone and that you aged with TRUE friends if not a lot at least a few. Who knows and loves you inside out. All of a sudden past mistakes, previous heartaches, vanishes with tomorrow's promise. I am so thankful to God for having Auie as my best friend and I can't thank God enough for the continuous shower of blessings Ryan and I are receiving now. Life is still not a bed of roses but my life has surely turned around from the chaotic and somehow miserable life I grew up in.

Reminiscing Holy Week

2007-03-19T12:44:00.000+08:00

Commemorating Holy Week is not as difficult as celebrating Christmas here since there are no decors required for that, except for the fact that there are no holidays for Catholics to do what we have practised for many years every Holy Week. Strictly observed pa naman ito sa family namin and my lolo would always scold us if we do anything fun (like hum a tune, listen to the radio or watch tv, play, etc) especially on Holy Friday. May mga family traditions din kme like going to mass, attending processions in Biñan, pasyon sa neighbors, way of the cross with family / friends and Easter egg hunt on Sundays until we grew old for that and lola passed away.

Since Ryan & I got married (2004) we have been visiting churches on Holy Thursdays and I would prepare him tacos for merienda after we got back. We would do the station of the cross at every church. Minsan nga kinareer pa naming lakarin ang mga simbahan sa Intramuros grabe pala ang San Agustin super jam packed. Tapos nag-jejeep jeep lng kme. Last year we did not go to a lot of churches but we went to nearby churches lng to pray. I have this adoration prayer that we prayed for an hour in Sacred Heart but those two years we never failed to visit Guadalupe Church where we got married. One of the best adoration altars ever. It's so solemn and it feels even more special for us to pray there.

May blooper pa kmeng dalawa nung 1st year namin to do the Bisita Iglesia, a lot of people often rave about how beautiful the set up of Sta. Ana (Our Lady of the Abandoned Church) is but when we went there it was so disappointing kse walang kaayos ayos at all. It was soooo dull that we just opted to pray the station of the cross outside. Aparently nasa pocket garden pala nila ang altar and the following year (after we were corrected by everybody we know who regularly visits this church) it was indeed so beautiful in the garden and so solemn there.

Holy week as I have learned to surpass even the traditions is really a holy week for me. Especially now that I feel I have to reflect on my wrong doings and be thankful of the countless blessings we are continously receiving. I want to be deserving of His grace especially now that He has given us so much than what we were praying for. Even if I am away from the Philippines now I want to take a day off to pray despite missing all the Holy Week traditions. Sayang walang 7th Heaven marathon dito...

Another sinigang story

2007-03-07T10:45:00.000+08:00

I remember putting a post about siningang years back. Now there's another story to tell...later I might have chronicles of Sinigang...

Since sinigang is Ryan's favorite dish it was a struggle for him not to be able to eat it for months since we haven't seen a sinigang mix here not even fresh sampaloc. Until Florence, my candidate from the Phils who has come to live with us was able to bring a few c/o my incessant request from my mom. And of course we brought back with us a whole year supply of sinigang mix from our trip not counting those Florence brought from her recent trip back too. It was obvious that siningang is in the menu as soon as we did the grocery last weekend.

Ryan's duty this week starts at 3:00 PM and I thought it makes sense to boil the pork from the morning before I leave until he leaves for work in the afternoon. So that I would only have to worry about the veggies in the evening after work. Unfortunately this is how our conversation went (or at least, according to Ryan. what I claimed)
D: Ry, isasalang ko na ung pork ha para lumambot pakipatay n lng later pagalis mo?
R: Huh? Di ba matutuyuan yun.
D: Hindi enough lng un para malabot gaya nung luto ko last time
R: Uh..okay.

So parang malinaw and conversation.

6:00 PM we were chatting via YM.

R: mahal sabihan mo ako bago ka uwi ha
R: try kita ihitid ok?
D: wrapping up alis siguro me in 15 mins
R: kahit dyan lang sa bus stop
R: ahh ok
D: will send emails lng
D: malambot na baboy?
R: basta sabihan mo ako kapag sign off ka na
D: ok
R: i think so
R: pero di ko pa din pinatay

Imagine me going ballistic here...waaah!As in!!He left the house at around 2PM what time was it now?!Immediately I stood up and just sent my report to my boss. Hurried home. Went with my Indian officemate. Florence even saw me riding the cab. My Indian colleague kept on telling stories but I honestly can't get my mind off the sinigang. I checked out the guards reaction if he's going to tell me our house is burning as I entered the gate of our compound. Hehehe..so far so good. Pa-wave wave pa sila.

When I reached home I just put down my things in the couch and rushed to the kitchen. Even with the kitchen doors closed a pungent smell of meat can be smelled from the doorstep. Yaiks! I really do hope it's not burned or something. I was so relieved to find that it was not burning when I opened the lid but somehow it smelled burned. Only half of the water evaporated. The meat was so soft already but it was within remedy. Florence came in wondering why all the lights were out but the door was unlocked. That was how panicked I was forgetting everything else but the sinigang.

And as usual as an indication of success when Ryan came home at 12:00 am he told me he cannot sleep right away since he was sooo full after eating late dinner I left for him. =) Despite the incident that was enough to put a smile on my face and go back to sleep peacefully or at least as peaceful as not feeling our baby's strong kick.

Ang aming balik-bayan trip

2007-02-28T13:34:00.000+08:00

As expected we're back to reality. Good thing is that I've psyched myself before going back that I just enjoyed every single day we spent back in the Phils and not feel so bad to be back in Malaysia.

First off..it felt soooo goood to be home!It was almost too good to be true. Suddenly all the simple things we took for granted in the Phils we came to appreciate and miss. Ang saya ng uwi namin!

Flight night:
I got stuck with turning over my candidates and other things in the office it was already 7PM and Ryan was waiting di pa ako makaalis ng office. We don't even have an idea what time the last bus is. Plus we're both hungry..dito pa naman eh wala nang mabibilhan ng food for snacks or something around 5PM. We were hoping we can grab something at KL Sentral para dinner na.

It was hard getting a cab since it was Friday. We were dragging along our monster luggage na almost empty and the Samsonite hand carry stroller. Good thing here, it's very easy to make taxi calls. Isang tawag lng, sila pa magrereturn call sa iyo and voila the nearest cab will be there in a few minutes.

In KL Sentral umalis na ung last trip ng isang bus line going to the airport. Naglakad lakad pa kme kse ung isang bus line may trip pa pala. Hence, we left KL to go to the airport at around 8PM. The bag of Ruffles I grabbed from the kitchen this morning came in handy + the empty bottle of water I refilled from the office. Instant dinner. By the time we arrived at the airport we spoiled our appetite for a proper dinner. Still I ordered cheeseburger at McDo and Ryan some mcnuggets.

We waited for hours since our flight leaves at 1:20 am and with the same predicament we had when we went to Bacolod Cebu Pacific's flight was delayed for another hour!!!At least shorter than the 3 hour delay of our flight to Bacolod before. Still it was such an unholy hour!!and we can't sleep properly with the airport seats. Wala bang iiimprove ang Cebu Pacific???

Day one: Friday

Since I informed my family that our flight was delayed when we arrived di pa sila umaalis ng bahay. Hehehe. Kami na lng naiwan sa airport na walang sundo pero even if there was no food served sa aming budget fare & napaka-stiff ng upuan ng Cebu Pacific eh I was so ecstatic to be back. Actually since 3 mos pa lng kmeng nawawala there were no drastic changes sa Pinas. Jollibee ang aming first meal kse ang tagal nila Dokee & mama dumating. In fairness ang sarap na ng fries ng Jollibee ha! Dati di mo ako mapapakain ng Jollibee fries.

Sa car pa lng mega update na kme. Especially kay Kris Aquino at James Yap...hahaha!And we forgot that it's almost election time na pala sa Pinas. So update din ng mga tatakbo etc. Pagdaan namin ng Makati gusto kong humalik sa lupa we were greeted with the usual morning rush and traffic. Ahh...ito ang wala sa KL. Kung meron man eh stop light lang feeling ng mga local eh traffic jam na dito.

Breakfast was tinapa & itlog na maalat!Yum yum yum! Sobrang busog ako! At ang bahay namin may Christmas decor pa..muntik na akong maiyak kse dito parang holy week ang naging pasko namin. Tlagang di nila tinanggal para makapag-picture daw kme (as if eh na-lo bat naman ang digi cam at di namin dala yung charger).

We went with Dokee right away to have my tooth fixed. She had so many patients we tried sleeping in her clinic's dining area to wait for my turn. When I woke up I requested for a yellow cab pizza! Yum yum yum na naman!!!!Aliw na aliw naman ako sa mga campaign ng senators sa TV. At may mga starlets na di ko na marecognize ha.

Anyway after my treatment dumiretso na kme sa Greenhills tiangge for my maternity clothes shopping. Salamat naman at uso ang preggy blouses kse sa totoo lng di pa kasya sa akin khit small na maternity clothes. Dapat nga papa-derma pa ako kaso di namin nakausap yung derma ko kung papayag syang i-treat ako and her new sched pala is off sya pag Fridays. For merienda we had pansit malabon...and sarap!Grabe sa totoo lng super sarap kumain. At home for dinner it was monggo with chicharon!!Ang dami dami kong nakain. Yung baby bihira lng maglikot maybe because ang dami nyang stock ng food.

Day two: Saturday

Ryan and I promised to keep Saturday for ourselves. It was our "date day" especially we did not go out for Valentines and reserved it for our homecoming. Gusto pa sana ni Ryan 3 sine?! Sabi ko 2 lng. So we booked Ghost Rider in the afternoon & Music and Lyrics in the evening. Kme ang nagbukas ng ticket counter..hehehe!So we got good seats. Nasabik kme sa sine kse sa PInas we watch movies regularly or I mean as far as my schedule would allow. Hehehe at least sa Pinas anytime na trip mong manood you can watch tlga. Dito naman kse sabog ang sched ng movies. So its a must to check a website and be at the cinema on time.

We went home for lunch sa bahay kse gusto ko tlga ng homecooked binagoongang baboy & mangga. So mama prepared this while I went to the salon to have my nails done & Ryan went to his barber na halos yakapin nya sa pagkamiss (esp after his tragic haircut incident her tlgang mapapatay mo ang barbero sa kapalpakan).Balik Greenbelt after lunch kahit na late kme sa Ghost Rider..hehehe inis na inis si Ryan kse di namin nasimulan. It was a big date night indeed. Ang saya ng buong gabi! We heard mass at Greenbelt chapel, ate & ate the food we missed..goto + tokwa't baboy, bibingka...ang sarap kumain I barely had room for dinner. I loved Music & Lyrics sobrang nakakatuwang panoorin and after the movie you'll really have a last song syndrome of the song Way Back Into Love. Dapat nga bibili pa ako ng soundtrack kaso sarado na ang Music One so dito na lng siguro sa KL. Another best part of the day was Ryan bought me the lacking series of my Shopaholic books. Hehehe. Spoiled!

Day three: Sunday

Time to go to Ryan's hometown. Same old same old except that ang layo na pala ng tawiran sa dati naming babaan so mega walkaton kme under the sun. It was good to see his family again although super kulit and likot ng kanyang mga pamangkin. Ang cute cute na ng bunso ni Ate. Nakakatuwa din si mama although ewan ko lng kung namiss nya kme actually di ko rin nga alam kung kilala nya kme...hehe. In a way I took it as an indication that she knows us in her heart kse nung ngpaalam kme na aalis na kme she said, "aalis na kayo ulit?" parang somehow eh may sense sya that we are going away.

Day four: Monday

Appointment for the day: SSS (maternity benefit), LTO (license application), lunch with Ma'am Cecille, more shopping in Makati, haircut at Lucy B., dinner with the winckies. Need I say more? I was a full full day. I ate kare-kare twice one sa Dencio's with Ma'am Cecille and nung dinner at Recipes. Most importantly I love my new haircut and I love the stylist in Lucy B. bakit ba ngayon lng ako ngpagupit dun. He did a great job with my hair and he styled it while it was dry para walang phony after-cut kapag basa at na-blow dry. It was so natural and was really low maintenance as he promised it would. I just forgot his name pero di sya gay, lalaking lalaki gusto ko nga sana ipa-train si Ryan..hahaha!Sya nga daw nakukulay sa wife nya. Bongga di ba?! Imagine nagkukulutan kme ni Ryan pag weekends.

It was so nice to see my friends na ang iba ay nung kasal pa namin huli kong nakita. Chismisan galore!Kulang ang gabi...naawa nga ako kay Ryan kund di lng ako buntis pinauwi ko na. Kse naman we haven't had a decent sleep during our trip.

Day five: Tuesday

Ilang oras na lng we'll be in KL again. Syempre nagpa-footspa muna ako sa Index ever. At nggrocery n kme ng mga food na wala dito. Lie low and packing galore. Ang galing tlga mag pack ni mama! Ang dami dami naming dala. It was a wortwhile stay ang kinalulungkot lng ni Ryan di kme nakapag-Boracay or something. With the baby coming kelan nga kaya ulit yun? I wonder if we'll have the heart to leave the baby behind and have a vacation.

I was so happy di naharang ang aming bagoong, taba ng talangka, tocino, hotdog, luncheon meat, etc sa airport kse maiiyak ako pag naiwan yun kung alam nga lng namin dinagdagan pa namin ang dala...hehehe.

All in all it was a good trip. I learned my lesson sa Cebu Pacific and chose the seats na may pinakamalaking legroom. Next time din puro pagkain na ang laman ng bag namin that is if I can resist shopping for clothes again. =)

Uwian na!!!

2007-02-13T14:33:00.000+08:00

It has only been 3 mos yet I'm so excited to go back home!!

Ryan and I came up with a list of things to eat and take home with us:
MUST eat:
- tinapa, itlog na maalat
- binagoongang baboy & mangga
- longanissa
- Yellow cab
- tapa king
- kare-kare with bagoong
- crispy pata
- bacon
- hotdog
- chicharon bulaklak (Pampanga)
- Fishballs & Squidballs
- balot
- relyenong bangus

and the list gets longer as if we only came back to eat. Hehehe!I'm so excited!

I'm sure our bags will be packed again just like the first time. Good thing the attendants of Malaysian Airlines were kind enough to allow the overweight. What an overweight it was before.

This time I'm meeting again one group of friends only. Have only one body to do so and only 5 days to accomplish what we will come back for. I never knew one can miss his own country this much when he/she becomes an OFW. Good thing about our set up is Ryan & I are together so no dealing the usual long distance relationship stuff. Still I miss the food and my usual activities that I can't wait to go home into the arms of my excited family & friends!!!And all the food the used to comfort me of course!

What am I doing?

2007-02-06T15:27:00.000+08:00

At the office today and I'm engrossed with my e-book Confessions of a Shopaholic. Obviously blogging now, not really doing anything productive so it seems.

I am at a point where I don't want to admit frustration..more appropriately it's confusion and the floating feeling of not having a sense of direction in what I am doing. I don't let my thoughts wander far into that.

No wonder weekends at home are boring me.

There's a five day vacation in the Philippines I am looking forward to but the problems with vacations is the feeling why it has to end so soon. Arrrggghh! Ignore the gloomy gal I've become. Must be the pregnancy hormones doing this. Hahaha!

Di na nakakatuwa

2007-01-31T14:22:00.000+08:00

Grrrr tlga!Grrr grrr grrr!!!

Although I have complaints about my new job which is so mababaw and seems to be part of the job, I have prepared myself working with people who has a different culture naturally. Having better hopes with my kababayans instead.

Unfortunately not the case. People here whether from India, or locally here in Malaysia have been very nice and easy to work with. Of course not minding a few communication gap once in a while (again very acceptable di ba?). It is so disappointing na kung sino pa yung mataas expectations ko sila pa ang hindi makaintindi. Nagtitimpi na lng ako na sigawan ang mga taong concerned ng isang malaking BOBO!!TANGA!! Considering that working as an HR for more than 5 years has extended my patience and tolerance for people in the workplace who are so narrow minded. At talagang di ako pumapatol sa bading na papansin at hindi makapag-English!actually tinagalog na di pa din makaintindi.

Di ko alam san pa huhugutin ang pasensya. Ang hirap kseng patulan ng tao na stupidity lang ang problema. As in hindi marunong magbasa ng email..sorry but the email HAD TO BE IN ENGLISH! Because the management here was put in cc alangan naman itagalog ko para lang maintindihan ng isang..hmmp ewan!!

Grrr tlga. This is the last time I'm wasting my time for this type of person gusto ko lng tlga maglabas ng sama ng loob. Kse alangan naman i-share ko sa officemates ko dito eh so far peace loving naman sila. Sabihin nila I can't handle my own kababayan...which is actually true. Haaay kakalungkot!

Today's OB visit

2007-01-18T17:57:00.000+08:00

It's been two weeks since I last saw my OB and the baby under the ultrasound. As of yesterday baby is officially 4 mos. old inside me. He/she is now bigger and fuller. The toes and hands were clearer. Even the head showed more distinct figures of the lips and eyes. The baby was so calm..after he waved at Ryan (as Ryan claims). The tiny cute heart was beating. Sometimes I can already feel his movements at night when he's usually active.

I went back today since my doctor insisted on getting my blood for some tests. I hope it goes well considering that I lost weight! When I was not pregnant I tried hard to lose weight..oops make that wished hard I can lose weight. Now I'm losing weight when I should be gaining it already.

Morning sickness is over and what a relief it is. Unfortunately my tooth filing got removed and chewing became so painful. Hence we suspect this for my weight loss. My OB recommends immediate help from the dentist. Given my condition I don't want any dentist hello! I want Dokee! I was thinking of sending her over but it will be so difficult for her alangan naman maghanap kme ng mahihiraman nya ng clinic dito. I wanted to go home but hesitating since work schedule is sooo tight!! Ang daming requirements and napaka-untimely not to mention bago lng ako dito magpaalam ng 2 days leave. Nakapag sick leave na nga ako eh. Tapos late na late na late pa ako kanina pumasok dahil sa check-up ko...11:30 na ako dumating..hehehe ang kapal noh?! So the chances are so slim na payagan ako..

Minsan tlga nakakamiss ang buhay sa Pinas na may househelp. Kse kakatamad magluto pag sobrang pagod sa work at sobrang sakit sa ipin. Dati kse nakaready na ang lulutuin ko...at pagkatimpla may taga-bantay pa. Patikim tikim na lng. May taga-hugas pa ng mga ginamit ko...hahaha!At pag tlgang nakakatamad may BBQ kay Aling Rose na sure na malinis at fresh. Sana wag mabasa ni Ryan ito kse baka i-deport nya ako sa Pinas kaka-homesick ko lalo na sa mga food. Sana din may milagro bigla na pwede akong mag-absent dito kahit 2 days lng para makakain ng hotdog, tocino, ginataang halo-halo, lechon; makapagpa-manicure, pedicure & hotoil sa suking parlor; makanood ng mga teleserye, tagalog movie, magshopping sa SM...este para pala mapagawa ko na itong ipin ko.

Baby's KL Experience

2006-12-27T14:17:00.000+08:00

Now that it has been a month since we've settled with our new jobs and new life here in KL I'm glad to be back to blogging. Of course only as often as my work load would allow me.

I immediately saw a doctor (or at least the soonest I can, considering that I had to work for my first weekend and the company outing the next). It was no contest in choosing my new OB-Gynecologist, there were only a few of them holding a clinic on Saturdays on a nearby hospital where we got our place and since this is my first we'd be more comfortable with a female doctor. She was the only female doctor who holds a clinic on Saturdays.

I've been hearing plenty of good feedbacks about the hospital too such as it's the best maternity hospital here in KL. We were not disappointed it was first class even better facilities than Makati Med. Hehehe. Equipments and rooms are all new. So the package for giving birth of around P50,000 normal delivery here is worth it. It already includes my doctors PF according to the hospital. Pricey I know but we feel confident that it will all be worth it for this hospital. =)

As for my doctor, medyo mashunda na sya..hehe. Ang kaba ba naman ni Ryan baka daw matigok bago ako manganak...don't mind him OA lng yun. Indian sya so halos lahat ng pasyente ganun din. Pagpasok namin sa clinic nya grabe!Parang walang naligo sa kanila..wahh!My biggest worry na sabi ko kay Ryan pag ganyan din ang simoy ng hangin ng doctor ayoko na. Buti naman hindi tska mabait naman. Our visit to her was also the first time we saw our baby via ultra sound. Here's the picture:

I never thought it will be such an overwhelming experience! At first the monitor was aly facing Ryan and I wanted to get up and pull the monitor because he was getting all excited and the OB was telling him these are the hands, the arms, the eyes and he was ecstatic because the baby was so active and kept on moving! Until finally I got my turn. Indeed the baby was so malikot...naku nasa tyan pa lng ang likot na! He kept on moving. Ryan told me when they were looking at the baby he turned away from them. But I never thought the experience of actually seeing a proof that indeed a life is forming inside me would be this much! Ryan insisted on coming back or even buying our own ultrasound. Di tlga excited ang daddy to be!Hehehe.

Aside from the frequent throwing up my pregnancy is just fine. Ryan gets to do a lot of house work especially when my morning sickness strikes me at night. Good thing he doesn't complain..(yet!I hope). I guess as long as he's expecting the baby I can make him do whatever I want..except for allowing me to eat potato chips etc. Nyahaha!Not that I'm abusing him or anything ha!hehehe...

By the way thank you all for your well wishes! Sorry but the time we found out we were so busy packing our things going here that I didn't get to thank you all. Especially the surprising visitors who sent me text messages after reading my blog (hehe may nagbabasa pala nito). I didn't even had the chance to say goodbye because we were so busy. After a months time I would say that we're more or less settled and finding our way around here.

If you're linked to my multiply account I usually update it with our recent pictures here in KL so just check it out once in a while. =) Til next time!

First sign

2006-11-06T13:03:00.000+08:00

It was Saturday morning and we were scheduled to go home to Pampanga to visit Ryan's family. When I woke up I feel lazier than ever and nauseous that I want to throw-up. Fortunately I did not. I had a strange feeling already and even asked Ryan that I wanted papaya for breakfast. It was almost noon when we left and so as not to take too much time we just ordered a pizza for take-out. I slept most of the way in bus and never felt dizzy (I rarely have motion sickness). When we got of the bus however it was a different story. The world swirled around me and I reached out for the plastic bag Ryan was holding and threw-up. Dinner I hardly ate. Breakfast I felt sick at the sight of pork fat in the afritada and ended up just eating 1 piece of pandesal.

On the way home I was getting nauseous again. So when we got off MRT we decided to pass by Rockwell to have lunch. I wanted to eat nilagang baka so we ate at Dencio's. However I did not enjoy it so I finished only half of my rice. Mwahaha!Ako ba ito? It was only 2:30 pm when we got home so we thought we will sleep first before hearing mass. After the 7:00 PM mass there I was again...very very nauseous and throwing up like forever. I insisted that Ryan buys a pregnancy kit. We were supposed to buy one after the mass but we left our wallets and brought only enough money. While Ryan was out I was sprawled at our bathroom floor feeling weak already from another bout of throwing up. I got up to do the test...

One line appeared...

Then another...

Not conscious of the result Ryan told me "diba pag dalawa yung line positive?" We checked the box to make sure. Indeed a double line means I'm positively pregnant! =D Yey! We read it again and analyzed it pa...but you know I had this feeling since Saturday. A feeling different than just being delayed of my period. We were hugging each other so happy and excited! Suddenly all my dizziness vanished. What worries us was if I'm not pregnant then what was happening to me. Food poison or an allergy, fortunately it was nothing to worry about.

Finally the answer to the relentless questions we've been hearing since we got married. "wala pa ba?" some mean statements pa like -- "wala ang hina naman ni Ryan!" I just haven't complained in this blog but it's a classic annoyance to any newlyweds. But that's another entirely different blog entry. For now we are celebrating so many things and just looking forward to the following days to come!

Tamang pagka-miss

2006-09-26T23:46:00.000+08:00

May mga tao na di pa umaalis at nandyan pa lagi sa tabi mo pero miss na miss mo na
...siguro dahil alam mo ilang araw na lang at mawawalay na sya sa iyo

May mga tao na dapat sana namimiss mo pero di bale na lng
...siguro dahil nasaktan ka masyado, di mo inaasahan, di mo maintindihan pa'no kayo naging ganito ngayon

May mga tao na di mo alam na namiss mo kung di pa kayo ulit nagkasama
...siguro madami kang pinagwalang bahala sa relasyon ninyo noon

May mga tao na pwede mo na lng ma-miss
...dahil alam mong sa isip at panaginip mo na lang sila makakasama

Pero ano pa man klase ng pagka-miss alam mo at alam ko na ang mga nakakamiss lang ay ang mga tao na importante sa atin. Kasama mo man sya ngayon. Inasahan mong kasama hanggang ngayon. Di mo na madalas makasama. Di na muling makakasama.

Sana lang importante ka din sa kanila. Sana lang ganun din ang nararamdaman nila.

Ngunit higit sa lahat hindi man kayo pareho ng naiisip o nararamdaman...sana lng alam nila na ganyan sila kahalaga.

Guilt feelings

2006-09-13T16:46:00.000+08:00

Have you ever noticed how Filipinos have difficulty saying NO even for their own sake? Not to mention how we feel guilty even if there is nothing to be guilty of after saying NO.

I for one am a victim of not being able to say no. I only realized this recently or rather my Indian classmate in DLSU who's a priest called my attention about it and my other classmates came in to my defense saying it's a gender and cultural thing, it wasn't personal (coz he was starting to get angry that I didn't simply say no to his request and I had to go around explaining it instead). I swear super sama tlga ng loob nya sa akin but he texted me naman the following day to say that he's sorry for the way he reacted blah blah blah. Initially my defense was...okay I forgot what it was because later on that day I realized his point that I should've just clearly said NO. I just had to stress it that it wasn't really personal or anything, it was a natural response that any of us in the group would have said the same thing.

Today, I'm feeling the second one after saying no to a big favor. It involves money kasi and I am prone for trusting people with plenty of money yet suffer in the end. Sobrang suffering umabot pa sa NBI yung isang case ko ng pagtrust...pero di ko lng na-follow through with the court hearings so wala din..gone with the wind din ang drama naming mga victims. Even if I had all the point and the reason in the world to say no why the hell do I feel so bad? Is it my upbringing or is it a cultural phenomenon? I also met several people who have difficulty naman collecting payment from the person who borrowed money, even to some point na sila na yung gipit na gipit nahihiya pa din silang maningil. Nagawa na nila lahat ng pakulo at drama except for approaching the person directly and collect the payment. This is something I'm not guilty of naman kse I rarely have the chance to...hahaha! Either the person disappeared or madami din kami na-victim so kahit anong bitin naming patiwarik sa tao eh wala din. Anyway I like Weng's advise for now the best I could do is pray for that person that he finds other means especially after I turned him down. I guess what makes it more difficult for me is that I know how it feels.